Who has Cantonese jokes? Must be funny! ! please

Meiyuan Facai (Tongde Dan)

What's the killer's favorite shower?

most powerful figure or means

Daming raises Xiaoming, and Gansu raises Daming?

Dogs (I've heard a lot about Daming)

Don't animals grow taller all their lives?

Guiling ointment

You won the first place in the exam. What's your name?

Title name

Teacher Wang teaches all-cream buns, teacher Chen teaches all-lotus buns and baa baa teaches all-barbecued buns?

Weighing (called grinding barbecued pork bun)

If the watch is dead, it needs to be replaced ... the watch will automatically add D power back. What's the name of the watch?

Pull back table

Does the pig line have 1 feet?

chupa chups

Is the pig lame?

pearl

Baa pig is the cleanest?

Bilizhu

McDull bathed himself and estimated the name of a modern literary writer.

Zhu Ziqing (Zhu Ziqing)

Congratulations on getting rich. Estimate the name of a country.

Belgium (Billy is)

Mao Zedong begging for rain is probably a kind of sporting goods.

Badminton (begging in the rain)

The dwarf stole Snow White to take a bath and probably had a drink.

7-up

Is porridge the saltiest and wettest?

And the first porridge (and the bottom porridge)

Are you typing?

Bananas (don't type-don't type)

Baa fruit is the easiest to grow?

Banana (Zhao Zhong)

What is the worst hedging?

Banana (in jeopardy)

Bae hair is the most common.

Normal (normal)

Is the stove the most smelly?

Toaster (multi-dung stove)

What makes you the most stupid to grab a shirt in public?

Railings (hard to dry)

What prostitute do animals like to have sex with best?

Shrimp (shrimp dumplings)

Are the computer keyboard edge buttons the most handsome?

F4(F4 ..., Vic Zhou, VanNess Wu,)

What do animals like best about underwear?

Leopard (leopard smells underwear)

Does food talk big?

Xuefang cake (lying cake)

Can fruit wish people a long life?

Honey melon (no melon)

Should we ignore it?

physics

Explain that there are Tokyo, Nanjing and Beijing in the world, but Xijing?

Because western classics are better than Tang Sanzang.

Students are most afraid of eating fish?

East Star Point (not promoted)

Daxiong did something wrong and made her kneel for three hours. At this time, what's the magic weapon of Jingle Bang Daxiong?

Automatic kneeling machine

Do you hate Africans?

Black hatred

There is a famous brand store that offers a 10% discount. A woman went to the left to sweep the goods and died after buying them. What's the solution?

will never change until death

Explain that both Ma Xiao and Xiao Ya believe in Xiao He?

Yama Shinho (Yamashinho)

Apple juice is apple-flavored, orange juice is orange-flavored, and Yili tastes better.

You want to drink Zuo Wei today.

See crab roe and want to talk to him?

"You are not good at dried crabs."

White plus white equals baa?

White Rabbit (Little White Pagoda)

Liu Bei, Guan Yu and Zhang Fei go to the cinema to see a movie. Later Zhao Yun came, but the tickets were sold out. Why did Zhao Yun finally go to the movies?

About Zhang Fei, Liu Bei and Zhao Yun. (Guan Yu, Zhang Fei left it to Zhao Yun)

Aladdin has three brothers. What are their names?

Alaga Aray Alabing (A Yi Bingding)

HK, what is the most common surname of fat children?

Dead (fat)

What is the best thing for a senior official to provide disaster relief?

Fan Luo Pepper Powder (Pepper Powder)

Ape, waste paper and pencil, can you connect them with baa?

Ballpoint pen (Ape pen and paper)

Solve Superman's 3 Narrows?

Because the third paragraph says "s" (small code)

Breast augmentation costs 10 thousand on both sides and only 3 thousand on one side. This is a four-word idiom.

Full of ups and downs

A, B, C, D, E and F, which two are the most difficult to teach?

C and e (Islam)

Snake a to snake z, the slowest side?

Snake C (Yu Shiman's "Snake C Slow")

Can you learn anything from the wild?

Library (dictionary)

There are 26 English letters in English. When e and t turn left, how many lowercase English letters will there be?

2 1 (ET takes UFO and turns left)

Minna no tabo painted red lipstick and estimated a new English word.

Direction (big red lips)

1- 10, which one is the laziest and the other is the most diligent?

The laziest system is "1" and the most diligent system is "2".

When is six minus two equal to zero?

When doing the six karma gestures.

Amin took Ah to rob a bank, but the incident failed and he escaped. But when D police chased Guo, they didn't chase Amin, but they all chased Ashan. What's the solution?

Himalayas (at least La 'a Mountain)

Flower shops sell flowers, electrical stores sell electrical appliances, and Gan Churches sell them?

begad

Come on, a, dreams can catch a cold before the next one?

Nobita ("Nobita" Nobita)

Do mung beans hit the column and turn left?

Red beans (they bleed until they turn red)

Mung beans hit ghosts and turn left to do baa?

Green beans (he turned blue with fear)

Some sharks eat left mung beans, and one shark turns left to make baa?

Mung bean paste

When the banana is ripe, it falls to the left and becomes the left.

Eggplant (because a banana falls to the left and turns purple)

After a day on the left, it became baa again?

Banana (eliminating left blood stasis)

Is Miga's mother a follower?

Flowers (peanuts)

Is Miga's father a follower?

Butterflies (recent flowers)

Grandma Miga is a sideline?

Brilliant pen brings flowers (brilliant pen brings flowers)

Is Miga's father a follower?

Popcorn (holding flowers and rice)

Is Miga's husband a follower?

Chai (Chai Mi couple)

What is the border degree of Miga countryside?

"Fish" (Land of Fish and Rice)

Have a crush on Miga people?

Cooking (rice-free cooking)

What is the name system of multilateral investment guarantee institutions?

Mouse (Mickey Mouse)

Is Amy Edgar's own daughter? What is the explanation?

The father of the multilateral investment guarantee agency is the sea (the flower of the sea)

What is the best animal?

Sheep (Quack-Bae)

One day, when Xiao Ming was walking in the street, he felt that his feet were sore and he felt relieved.

It turns out that Xiaoming stepped on the old lemon in the middle left.

Can't you tie a boat and play with toys?

Explosive gyro

Have you ever eaten old shit?

Eat two old shits

Aaron Kwok sings baa songs? Sing "This Song"; Singing in China?

"Sing" RMB

After finishing Secondary Five?

Read books in the afternoon

Why not tell jokes on the boat?

Because a sea will laugh and cause a tsunami.

Can you lose weight by eating wild insects?

Ants (ants eat thin)

When I went to Xiao Ming's house, the door was closed and the doorbell was not opened. Finally, I said that Xiao Ming should open the door first.

"I'm from Decheng"

Which part of the tree is the most leisure?

Leaves (leaves are idle)

Originally, the founders of Yoga were two people from China, but they just created many theories. Which one is the other?

Confucius and Mencius

Why can't you eat Jianda surprise eggs during menstruation?

You'll be surprised (read in Mandarin)

What's on the da Vinci code?

Da Vinci account

Why don't you untie Little Red Riding Hood's breasts?

Grandma gave the wolf food.

Eating too much lemon will hurt your muscles and bones? , hurt?

broken-hearted

Pork paste sells pork, and spinach lotus sells spinach; Wei Lan sells baa?

"My love, my destiny"

What does lemon fear most?

Citrus (citrus lemon)

Will chicken be hairy?

Ferragamo

What's the name of the old bean on Waterloo Road?

Da wo Lao dou

Xiaoming did his summer homework by himself. The next day, he died. What's the solution?

Self-management, not life.

What should I do after I finish * *?

Watch b film (VCD system is divided into two)

What do you think of bugs crawling on the emperor's penis?

Climb the dragon boat

Do animals know billiards?

Eagle (English table tennis)

A slice of ham, like sausage, falls to the left to the same extent. What's the solution?

The land is immature.

Queen-like

Square (Queen's Square)

Do plants know skating?

Flower (flower {knowledge} skating)

Besides the safety island on the left, is AIA Island surrounded by the sea?

Jusco

Cow-shocked plants?

Cow (cow (fear) leaf)

Spider-Man was the most surprised.

Insecticidal water

The first theme song of meteor garden is called meteor shower. What is the first theme song of Tao Tao Garden?

Michael Tao

Yu Danfen has fish eggs, beef brisket powder has beef brisket ... Babaa wild powder has ice cream?

seven

It is the most expensive vegetable in the world.

Bakai

What do robots like to play?

Play the role of coke

When 1+ 1 =3?

Wrong array

What is the highest wild line?

Unparalleled cream (high)

Is the first question given at a higher level?

Strong cream (high)

Will NDS be better than PSP?

Because NDS can bend machines.

Can PSP be better than NDS?

Because PSP can bend the machine

"ABBABAABAABBBBBAABBABBA" (guess a greeting from the sentence)

Long time no see (c)

Pineapple is orange and Shiro is green?

Keroro

Conan is ill. Is there a doctor who can see him?

Detective (Detective Conan)

An ant has six feet. How did he explain the four footprints he walked through in the shit?

There are two hands with their noses crossed.

In America, is a thin guy a sideways guy?

Universal serial bus

In the past, left Q and right Q lived together and were buried together, but later right Q moved to the left. What was the result? (Guess four words)

Stop (Left) Q from living in the sun.

Kiss a hundred white rabbits. Is the honey rabbit a boy?

Not even a D.

Dogs can bark and cats can meow and goo?

Yang Guo (called "Auntie" every day)

What does bin Laden want to blow up most? Potato sweet potato? French fries,

George Bush (Potato)

A gentleman went to the water affairs bureau with an iron, B gentleman drove to the park, and C gentleman was in prison with a tall hat. what do you want to do?

Play monopoly.

Explain that Xiaoming was beaten by others. Why didn't his grandmother save him?

I don't even know when I hit my grandmother.

How can an ant get from Hong Kong to the United States without driving 1 min?

Go to the map

Chickens, geese and ducks went to drink soda and bought three leftovers, none of which got enough points. What's the solution?

Elegance (many geese)

Deng Lixin loves each other very much and is full of energy?

Smurfs (Smurfs are so eager to play and laugh)

Xiaoming crossed the road with a green light. It's better to kill a car than a left one.

Because the green light suddenly turns red (Zheng Rong-traffic light)

Donggua produced in Guangdong, pumpkin produced in Guangnan, watermelon produced in Guangxi and Guang Bei?

Voice (silence)

Eason Chan likes one side, but doesn't he like one side?

Eason Chan likes missing, but he doesn't (I never loved you, but I love missing Eason Chan-Mianmian).

Coffee cups play with glass and step on tightrope. Will the coffee cup fall from side to side?

The coffee cup is unstable (twins-falling off the shelf)

Dumping two dads in winter is one side?

Doraemon (Japanese version of Doraemon theme song)

Wood, rice, oil and salt are different. Isn't it the 1980s?

Oil (not from cookies-in the 1980s-impatient people)

If the lion wants to walk four steps faster, the tiger wants to walk three steps faster, and the wild wants to walk two steps faster?

God of Wealth (George Lam-God of Wealth Arrives)

Zu is the surname of football, Pai is the surname of volleyball, Lan is the surname of basketball, and what is the surname of judo?

Judo's surname is "Christmas" (Christmas Festival and Christmas Festival and Christmas Song)

Can you decorate your hands with the upper field of your body?

Hair (beyond-, an opponent whose hair can be modified-I really love you)

The black cat and the white cat crossed the road together, and the white cat knocked down the car. What's the first thing a white cat said to a black cat?

Meow ~

I got my ID card, does that count?

return

A container truck driver ran into a motorcyclist. The container truck driver was seriously injured, but the motorcyclist didn't know anything?

Because the container truck driver was on the street, not on the container truck.

Buzz Lightyear killed Zuo Long, and later the world helped him change the name of Zuo Hua. Is that so?

Kill Lombardy

Baano had to fall into the water four times to be washed away.

Birds (a bird fell into the water, fell into the water, and a bird fell into the water and was washed away by the water)

The giraffe has a long neck because it has to eat grass in the tree. The higher he eats, the longer his neck stretches. Will the gorilla's nose get bigger?

Hey, D, your fingers are so thick

Is the human heart a color box?

Yellow ("yellow" in panic)

What is grandpa's son?

Coconut (grandfather)

Guess a 96.

Milk shake (nine, six)

Guess a 2.4.6.8.10 food.

Lotus root (even number is also called even number, and the number of questions is continuous even number)

There is a man named Gigi. He knows three new friends. What's his name?

Suicide (suicide attack)

Won't be frozen in the snow?

A secret (a secret that cannot be "told")

You can't "classify" pig breasts! ! ?

"Secrets you can't tell (see Mandarin)"

A man dismantled a toilet on the left plane and dumped it.

Because he is infatuated.

A woman died for no reason. -Why?

Because Bi Yanyan dumped a toilet and' chose' to die.

Why don't fireworks hit the stars in the sky?

The star system will "flicker"

Why do blacks like white chocolate?

Afraid of biting your fingers

A thousand years ago was the past, and what is it after a thousand years?

Now (a thousand years ago, a thousand years later)

A pear for five children should be cut with a knife and distributed to all children equally, but it needs to be cut three times. What should I do?

Cut a pear with two knives, and then kill one of the children with the last knife.

Mr. Gao lives on 13 floor. When he leaves the street, he can take the elevator directly to the underground. However, if he has to take the elevator by himself, he will definitely take the elevator to 12 floor and go up a flight of stairs.

Because he is not tall enough, press the thirteenth floor, so he has to go to the left 12 floor first.

One day, a horse who knows how to listen to the little people won the race. There are three kinds of gifts to choose from: 1)5000 yuan in cash; 2) camera; 3) After the owner explained the purpose of the gift, the horse chose the camera.

Camera, because knowledge automatically becomes a banana.

There is a helmet with a fan tied to it, an electric fan in his left hand, a kettle in his right hand and skates on his feet. Where is he going?

Green hills

There are two prisoners in a cell, one of whom was locked up for a year for stealing, and the other was a robber and murderer, but only for two weeks. Why?

Because he was sentenced to death.

China and his wife, who live in Italy, went to the market one day to buy chicken breast. Because she doesn't know Italian, she just barks like a chicken and points at her breasts. If she wants to buy chicken feet, she points to her feet, boss.

Understand; Later, she wanted to buy sausages, but she went home and called her husband. Why?

Because her husband knows Italian.

A man has a serious throat problem, and the doctor advised him to have his throat removed.

Patient: Cut your left throat and I'll eat wild food!

Doctor: Do something! You have to learn to eat wild food through your anus.

Patient: Fuck off! Well, you can eat wild food in your anus after you tie it!

Doctor: It's your fault. Before you go back to practice eating with your anus, if you're all right, I'll help you cut your throat. ......

A few weeks later, the patient visited again.

Doctor: Keep practicing.

Patient: Good, but you have to eat and drink at home!

Doctor: Good, but I want to ask about your foot.

Patient: Because of me, my family is very nervous about chewing gum.

Me: Hey, be quiet.

Hehe: Quiet, quiet.

Me: He makes beer and stays with us.

He: Because he is Ren Xiong.

A: We depend on our family background.

Beijing

Are we going to Tokyo to get married?

B: The compass is hanging on the left. .......

Zi Ming: Dad, there will be two Ronaldo?

Dad: One is Cristiano Ronaldo and the other is Cristiano Ronaldo.

Zi Ming: Hey, there were two Ma Zhao in the Three Kingdoms period?

Dad: Is there any allowance?

Zi Ming: One is Ma Zhao, and the other is Si Mazhao. ...

Dad: ............

The teacher asked the students to draw pictures. When class was over, Xiao Ming only handed in a blank sheet of paper.

Teacher: Your painting is called baa.

Xiaoming: Cows eat grass.

Teacher: What about the grass?

Xiaoming: It was eaten by a cow.

Teacher: Where are the cows?

Xiaoming: The cow ate the grass and left.

Left: I will add 0 points.

Right: hey! I got zero again? ! Will sitting together for 0 points be more cheating than talking?

Left: department? ... we buried question d by mistake, but it doesn't matter. ...

It is said that Brother Panda and Sister Rabbit are dragging their feet, but everyone in the department is against it.

Papa Panda: Your girlfriend is not a good girl, Li Jia. She flew to the left.

Panda: Tell me, Lao Dou.

Papa Panda: I saw your girlfriend the last time I saw Playboy Fruit. ....

Otaku+Otaku = door-to-door, right!

It is said that otaku and otaku have been together ever since. One day, the otaku and the otaku suddenly had a stomachache and were fighting for the toilet. This is called ... "Housekeeping Assistant"

On Sunday holiday, earthworm was idle, cut himself into two parts and played badminton;

Mother earthworm saw it and cut herself into four pieces and played mahjong by herself.

Bored dad was inspired by his son and wife, but he chopped himself on the chopping block and was dying. ...

Mother earthworm was surprised and sad when she heard the news, and said, "Husband, what are you doing?" ! 」

Father earthworm said weakly, "I ... want to ... want to play football."