I'm so bored, let's tell a joke

1. One night, a naked man hailed a taxi. The female driver stared at him intently. The naked man was furious and shouted: You have never seen a fucking naked man! The female driver was also furious: Let me see where you got the money from!

2. Male and female friends sleep in the same room, and the woman draws a line: those who cross the line are animals. When she woke up and found that the man had really failed to pass the line, the woman slapped the man hard: You are worse than a beast!

3. One day, Liu Hongtao met a foreign guest and approached him and said: I am Hong Tao Liu. The foreign guest said: I am still the Seven of Diamonds!

4. Zai Zai was repaired by his father. He ran to his mother to complain: "Mom, what will you do if someone hits your son?" Mom: "I will beat his son to take revenge!" Zai Zai: "... ..."

5. I went to the top of Taishan Mountain with my friends to watch the sunrise. A friend pointed at the sky and said, "I saw it!" "I saw it too!" At this time, someone came out with his pants in his hand and yelled. Said: "You saw it when you saw it! What are you yelling about!

6. Noodles was beaten by steamed buns, so he went to his cousin Instant Noodles to take revenge. Instant Noodles beat him up when he saw the bean buns. When he came back, he said to Noodles: Don't worry. , I beat the shit out of it

7. A fashionable woman walked onto the bus, took out a tissue and wiped it hard when the seat was empty. She happened to fart when she was about to sit down. He smiled and said: "I'm KAO, I'm so damn clean, I have to blow it after wiping it"

8. In junior high school, a mathematics teacher was talking about equation transformations. He rolled up his sleeves on the podium and shouted loudly: Attention, students! I’m going to change my shape! …

9. Your boy has a crush on a girl and muster up the courage to ask that girl what kind of boy she likes

The girl who “likes her” answered the question several times. The answer is the same.

The boy said in frustration: "Is it okay to have a flat head?"

10. After the beautiful Mongolian actress finished her performance, the leader came to the stage to meet her. She asked warmly, "What is your name?" The parrot who could only say two words, "Who is it?" One day, when the owner was not at home, a gas changer came knocking on the door.

Parrot: Who is it?

Answer: The gas changer<. /p>

Parrot: Who is it?

Answer: Gas changer

......

The master was lying down at the door when he came home. The master was puzzled. Who is it?

Inside the door: Gas changer

12. In a public toilet, Mr. A was constipated and couldn’t pull it out for a long time. At this time, another man, Mr. B, came to the toilet. He came in, and as soon as he squatted down, he started to pull so hard. After hearing this, Mr. A said: "Man, I really envy you, you can pull so hard." Mr. B said: "What's there to envy? I haven't even taken off my pants yet..." …

13． Two men went to play in the mountains. One of them accidentally slipped and fell off the cliff. The companion shouted anxiously: "Brother, how are you? Are you okay?". The man who fell only heard the reply: "I don't know. I’m still falling~~~~~”

14. I also agree. A man was riding a bicycle without holding the handlebars. He had his hands folded in front of his chest. When a traffic policeman saw it, he said: Good hands! The man replied, Hello, comrades!

15. The monkey asked the fox how to describe the elephant's fart in a song. The fox said: I miss Ku Juji so much. When the ant heard it, he said: "Fuck, I thought it was a power train."

16. A rabbit walked into a store and asked the boss: Do you have carrots for sale here? My wife said: No. After a while, the rabbit came again and asked: Do you have any carrots for sale here? The boss said impatiently no! After a while, the rabbit came to ask again, and the boss finally couldn't bear it anymore: If you make trouble again, I will take a pair of scissors and cut off your ears!

After a while, the rabbit came again: Do you have any scissors for sale here? The boss said: No.

The rabbit asked again: Do you have carrots for sale here...

17. A king wants to marry a princess and puts an apple on the princess's head. Whoever shoots it will have a chance to marry the princess.

The first man shot the apple and said: "I'm Robin."

The second man also shot the apple and said: "I'm Robin." m Hou Yi."

The third man accidentally shot the princess to death. He said: "I'm sorry..."

18. A man was an intern in a mental hospital. Suddenly, a mentally ill patient came after him with a kitchen knife. The man turned around and ran away until he reached a dead end. He thought it was over. The patient said: "I'll give you the knife. It's your turn to chase him." Me.

19. The flight attendant advised passengers to wear seat belts

“The last time the plane made an emergency landing, those who didn’t wear seat belts were all bruised and bloody from the fall.”

Ask: “What about the ones who wore seat belts?”

p>

Answer: "It's okay, they are all sitting well, just like living people."

20. A new sculpture was built in a certain school - a girl holding a book in her left hand and a white dove in her right hand. School leaders publicly call for names from students on campus. There was an endless stream of replies, and one of them had the loudest voice: Reading is useless!