Ask for a good joke to chat with a liar?

Ask for a good joke to chat with a liar?

20 15 summer day, around noon, before going to work. Received a phone call: Hello, who are you? A: I don't even know you. Who are you? Zhang Qiang. Yes, I am Zhang Qiang. Sounds like Cantonese. I went to Guangdong to learn the local dialect. What do you want from me? I borrowed 3000 yuan from you. Hit my card. A friend of mine has an accident and needs it urgently. Where are you? I'm on the train. Arrive at the company at noon 1. I'll pay you back. Suspected liar 10 minutes later. Did you call me again to urge me to transfer money? I said: I will transfer money to you at the company. Arrive at the company at noon 12. At first glance, Zhang Qiang is in the company. Aren't you on the train? How did you get to the company? Zhang Qiang said: I didn't call you. The man who called you just now must be a liar. I am the man you said.

1. Recently received several similar cheaters.

Liar: Hey ... (then doesn't talk)

Me: Hey ... (Then don't talk)

Liar: Hey ... (Still not talking)

Me: Who are you?

Liar: Who am I? (The tone is very uncomfortable)

Me: Who are you?

Liar: Can't you hear my voice? (The tone is a little angry. )

Me: Is this Mr. Li? I basically thought I was a liar, haha, so I lied, as smart as me.

Liar: By the way, you can't recognize my voice! Well, I'm on a business trip these two days. I lost my mobile phone and changed my number. You ask the financial department to give me 5000 yuan, and I'll send you the account number. Come on. Very urgent

Me: I need financial approval. Isn't that what you said? You must always sign.

Liar: In that case, you transfer 5000 to me first, and I'll go back and let the finance transfer it to you.

Me: OK, I'll transfer you right away.

Liar: OK, OK, hurry up, customers here want money for entertainment and can't afford to delay!

Me: OK, OK. Goodbye, General Lee.

Then the phone went black, haha.

That's a real thing that happened to friends around me (pretending to be a public security bureau, all kinds of public security bureaus in Beijing have voices)

Liar: Hello, I'm from the Public Security Bureau. We found that your ID information recorded that you were involved in an illegal scam. (That's probably what it means. Anyway, that means the public security bureau wants to investigate you. )

Liar: Have you registered any accounts with your ID card recently, or have your ID card photos been used?

Friend: I don't think so.

Liar: Your information is registered in the record we found here. If it is true, you will go to jail. Please cooperate with our investigation.

Friend: OK.

Liar: We need to know your assets now, and we need you to report all your bank card accounts, including those of your elders. All information should be collected. And family ID information. We all need to verify the situation and confirm whether you are involved in this case by comparison.

Friend: You must be a liar.

Liar: We are not liars. This is a question of whether you will go to jail or not. No games. You need to cooperate actively.

Friend: OK, I'll get back to you after I check. Is this the right number?

Liar: Yes, you should reply to us as soon as possible.

Then my friend hung up the phone, went to the nearby police station and gave the phone to the police. The police at the police station said that they would never get information by phone, but only face to face.

Finally, I hope that liars can be punished by law, and I hope that everyone can treat liars with golden eyes and never be deceived by liars.

Thank you for answering your question. I am the eldest brother.

This is a true story. One day I received a strange phone call, which sounded like someone I knew, but it was a little different. The following is the story and conversation between me and the liar. Liar: Why? Me: Nothing. Who are you? Liar: What, you don't even recognize my voice? Me: Who the hell are you? I can't think of it at once! Liar: Can you guess? Me: At this time, I reacted. When I met a liar, I casually said a name, "You must be Liu He!" Liar: You remember me! Me: at this time, I knew what I was doing, so I teased the liar and said, "I heard that you were arrested by the police a few days ago for whoring." How did you get out so soon? " "I didn't expect this statement, but it provided the liar with an excuse to cheat. Liar: Yes, that's why I called you. I borrowed 30 thousand yuan from others before I was released on bail pending trial. People are waiting for me to pay back the money. We are old friends. Lend it to me first, and I'll pay you back slowly! Me: Seeing the liar say this, I suddenly had a brainwave and said, "Why are you so stupid? Isn't your brother-in-law in the Interpol Brigade? Why don't you go to him? Maybe if he calls the detention center, you won't have to pay! "Liar: Wash your dirty linen in public, I dare not look for him! Me: You dare not look for him. I'll talk to him and call him right away. Liar: No, you can't! Then I put the phone down. The liar never called me again!

Once in Guangzhou, I met three BMW drivers who asked me for money. They said they were the chairman of Haier. They came to Guangzhou for a meeting, stayed in a hotel for one night, and then their money was stolen. They asked me to borrow 100 to refuel. They also said they wanted me to give them a number so that they could pay back the money and promised me something to do. I listened carefully, thinking about Haier's chairman, how much tax money he paid a year, and actually fell into this situation. The government will certainly treat them well, and then I will kindly help them call the police. I didn't expect them to leave before I hung up. Hey ~ I lost a great friend and a good job opportunity.

It seems many years ago that telephone fraud was crazy. Telephone fraud is much less now than before. At that time, there were all kinds of tricks of scammers, and I have experienced many things like scammers calling me. Most people get a call from a liar and either hang up or laugh. I usually call a liar when I get this kind of call.

Tell me about my experience. It's absolutely true, without any fabrication.

1, I started a small company when I was young, and the management was average. At that time, swindlers often asked the company to order books, all kinds of books, including reference books, professional and technical books, and even big yellow pages. Generally, such books are not cheap, and hundreds or even thousands of them are available. Enterprises are not fools, of course, they will not spend money on these useless books. Therefore, the liar has a crooked brain in his identity, either a functional department that has the right to the enterprise or an organ leader, and his tone of voice is also an adjutant.

One day, I got a phone call.

Liar: hello, I'm from the inspection office of XX Bureau.

As soon as I heard this call, I knew it was a liar, because the other party had no local accent at all.

Me: Hello! What do you call it?

Liar: My last name is Li!

Me: Li Chu is good! (It seems that the other side acquiesced in this position)

Li Chu: Let's talk about your company when we get back! I have a set of XXXX books here. You should buy one first.

Me: Li Chu, don't scare me. What is wrong with me?

Li Chu: You buy this set of books first, and I'll help you solve the problem when you come back.

Me: How much is it?

Li Chu: 4200

Me: It's too expensive! Can't afford it!

Li Chu immediately raised his voice: You don't believe it, do you? Then don't blame me for checking you out!

Me: Li Chu, I really have no money. You can check it out if you want.

Li Chu threatened me: Then don't blame me!

Me: Li Chu! My uncle is director Zhang of your bureau. I'll ask him first if all enterprises want to buy this book. I'll ask him how he taught you to sell books, and I'll tell him about your threats and let him take care of you.

Actually, I don't know if there is a director Zhang in XX Bureau. Anyway, Zhang Wang Li Zhao's surname is more common in China.

Li Chu is not afraid to let my uncle take care of him. In any case, he is not an employee of that bureau.

Li Chu: Your uncle can't find me. You better call me money!

At that time, it was not as convenient as online banking, and it was usually the money from the bank.

Me: Then I'll use this phone number to ask my uncle. What should I do if I call someone on my personal mobile phone to discuss business? If my uncle doesn't know about you, I will call the police.

The other party immediately hangs up the phone.

2. Once my classmate brought a small card with the recruitment information of male public relations. This classmate doesn't know what male public relations do, so he is very curious.

Everything I say is false, which is a lie.

Students are also full of curiosity and doubt. In order to verify whether my judgment was true, and I was too idle at that time, I found a public phone outside and called it according to the phone number on it.

Liar: Hello!

Me: Hello, I heard that you are looking for a male publicist?

Cheat: Yes!

Me: My classmates and I have nothing to do now. Can we apply?

Liar pretends: How old and tall are you?

I quote the age and height of my classmates and me.

In order to make it come true, the liar made us believe him. He asked us to go to the lobby of a hotel and said he wanted to see us.

My classmate is going to talk to him face to face. I said, please, do you really want to go? I didn't let him go.

Half an hour later, I called the liar and told him that we didn't see him in the lobby.

The liar said that he had seen us and thought that we were qualified for the job, and that it was not a dream to earn more than 10,000 yuan a month.

Me: When do we go to work?

Deception: You have to pay the training fee, 800 yuan, the clothing fee and 500 yuan. ......

Me: Pay first and then make money?

Deception: You only pay a few thousand dollars and you can earn it back in half a month.

Me: You can deduct it directly if you earn money!

Deception: pay first, this is the rule!

Me: You're not a liar who cheated us out of money, are you?

I finally broke this window paper.

The other party hung up.

I turned to my classmates and said, look, how can pies fall from the sky? Only big stones can fall from the sky.

I bought something in a treasure, and the phone came half an hour later.

Liar: Excuse me, did you buy XX in our store?

Me: Yes!

Liar: Sorry, that kind of thing is out of stock now.

Me: Then I'll return it!

Deception: A certain treasure has new regulations, and the merchant is out of stock. Tell the buyer double indemnity.

Is this a good thing?

Liar: We'll give you money. Please tell me XXX's number and payment password, and I'll give it to you in double indemnity.

I am excited. Did I meet a legendary liar?

Me: Don't you have my number?

Deception: that's a normal process, and this operation is an abnormal process, so ask your XXX number and payment password.

Me: Um ... what, I don't want extra money.

Cheat: No, a treasure asked us to give you this compensation.

Me: Well, you can keep the money. If a treasure calls me back, I will say you gave it to me. It is not easy for you to do some business. It's inappropriate for me to ask you for money. I can't stand it!

Liars must insist on giving me money, and I insist on not giving it.

If we do this in the street, someone will send us to a mental hospital.

When I wanted to find a treasure customer service to verify the truth, the other party hung up the phone disgruntled.

4. I received a phone call from a southern accent one day.

Liar: Hello!

Me: Really ...?

Cheating: even I forgot? Really forgetful, haha!

Me: I can't remember, just say it!

Deception: You are not right, and you have forgotten your old friends!

Why doesn't the other person say who he is? I think he met a liar.

Me: I remember. You are Lao Liu, aren't you? It's all my brain.

Deception: You are so boring! I am in Cangzhou now, and I will go to Tianjin tomorrow. It's my treat then

Me: No problem!

The liar called me the next day.

Me: Where are we? I'll pick you up! Say! What do you want to eat? Steamed mutton, steamed bear's paw, steamed deer's tail, roast duck, roast chicken and roasted goose. ......

Cheat: I can't eat!

Me: What's the matter?

Deception: forget it. I met a car accident when I went to Tianjin to find you, and I broke my bone. I am in the hospital now, and I have no money with me. Now I'm going to have an operation. For the sake of our friendship for so many years, can you lend me some money?

Me: Which hospital are you in? I'll go right away, and I'll send you the money myself!

Deception: Stay away. Now the doctor is going to operate on me. It will be too late for you to come here.

Me: You give the phone to the doctor, I'll tell him and ask how you are. Can you wait until I leave?

Lao Liu wouldn't let me go to the hospital to see him anyway.

Deception: then give me some money first, and now people won't treat me if I have no money.

Me: How much do you want?

Deception: Is there twenty thousand?

Me: Is 20,000 enough?

The liar was a little surprised. This time, he caught a big fish: taking 20 thousand first is not enough.

Me: No, I have to hire the best doctor, use the best medicine and give the doctor the biggest red envelope.

The liar was a little moved: you are really my good brother.

Me: OK, I'll call you 1.5 million first. I estimate that treating a fracture is enough, and the rest is your nutrition fee.

A liar doesn't believe his ears at all.

Deception: OK, I'll tell you my account number.

Me: But I don't have that much cash now.

The liar was a little startled: then how did you call me 15000?

Me: Well, I have frozen $6,543,800,000 in the Swiss bank. The other party asked me for a deposit of 20 thousand yuan to unfreeze the money. I don't have that much money with me now, so I can't take it out. If I can unfreeze the money, I will give you $654.38 million.

Deception: How much money do you have now?

Me: Just 2000!

Deception: Isn't it enough for you to lend someone else 18000?

Me: Where can I have friends? Why don't you lend me some? You lend me 18000, and I'll give you 200,000.

There was no sound on the other side of the phone for a long time, and then it hung up.

Many years ago, I always got a phone call saying that I was always looking for something at work and asked me to go to his office. That's boring, just talk to each other:

Liar: Are you * *?

Me: Yes, and you are?

Liar: I'm Mr. Chen from your company. Come to my office tomorrow morning.

Me: Mr. Chen, who are you?

liar ...

Liar: How many managers are there in your company?

(Your company)

Me: How many?

Liar: I am Manager Chen who directly manages you.

Me: It's not like Teacher Chen is in charge of me directly.

Liar: Then who cares about you directly?

Me: Manager Li.

Liar: I'm Manager Chen, and I'm Manager Li's immediate supervisor.

Me: Manager Li doesn't belong to Manager Chen either, but Manager Chen belongs to Manager Li. ...

Liar (urgent): I don't care, anyway, you will go to your leadership office tomorrow.

Then hang up.

This is just a graduate. One day I added QQ friends and pretended that the company leader wanted money. Anyone who really saw this avatar (company logo) thought it was the leader who changed the number at first, until the liar asked me if I was financially busy, and immediately realized that this was a liar. Because the company's finance is not in the same building as ours, and the two offices are separated by a small river, it is impossible for the company leaders to ask me about finance, so I pretended to be a finance person and cheated the big liar. Look at him. Send me all the accounts and discuss with my colleagues whether to call the police. Considering that there is no actual loss, I am afraid I won't care, so I reported this account on QQ.

In fact, what I want to say is that you really need to pay more attention to this kind of request for remittance. You must call to confirm before remittance. I read a news before that a company was cheated to remit hundreds of thousands of dollars. If only the money could be recovered. If it can't be redeemed, it's hard to imagine how miserable it will be. In fact, the trick of the liar is not clever. Whether pretending to be a company leader or borrowing money from a friend, a liar doesn't know some details about getting along with the company or friends. Pay more attention and you will find a flaw. He is a liar.

When a liar chats, try to be unreasonable and let the liar be at a loss. Here I collect some routines and anti-routines to see who is better!

1. The liar sent it with a friend's number: Are you there? Can I use Alipay? Please call 10000 yuan to my account as soon as possible. It's urgent. Thank you!

Me: My Alipay has been uninstalled!

Liar: Then call my account directly, * * *

Me: If you are really short of money, I can help you burn it! ! !

2. Liar: Hello, I am a certain hospital. Your boyfriend was hit by a car, and now he is in the hospital, preparing for surgery. Please prepare the money as soon as possible and deposit it in …' s account!

Me: Oh? Is it serious?

Liar: It's quite serious. Send the money quickly. Oxygen will stop soon!

Me: then stop, don't save it!

Liar:?

Me: Yes, if I call someone, you don't have to save it! ! !

3. Liar: I am from Chengdu, Sichuan. I married a local rich man, but my husband can't have children. I hope everyone can help me!

Me: What can I do for you?

Liar: I want a child, as long as you can make me dream as a mother and reward me with a large sum of money, RMB 5 million!

Me: Mom! ! !

Liar: …?

Me: Mom, mom, mom! ! !

Liar: Get out! ! !

Everyone is a talented person, forcing a liar to swear that surprise is the key to winning a liar!

Have you mastered it? hahaha

1. Once I got a phone call from a swindler, the film was full of southern accents: "Is it a little X?" I am your manager. Come to my office tomorrow. I want to talk to you. "I said," ok, where is it? Can I have food and shelter? Do you need to bring a man? " The other party paused for a few seconds and hung up. ......

2. Last time I received a phone call from a liar: "Is it Mr. xx? Hello, I'm from xx Public Security Department. You have an abnormal consumption record of 10 million overseas. I still call to check with you. " I said, "Yes, what's the matter? Usually it is 100 million, I haven't seen you call me. " Then I heard the liar mutter a few words at that end: "You diaosi still pretend to be addicted." Hang up. ......

When I think about it later, I always feel that my lines were not well played at that time.

3. I once received a phone call from a liar: "Come to my place tomorrow." Me: "No, everyone has gone now." Liar: "Come back tomorrow morning." Me: "Why, you met another fox tonight? Tell me honestly who he is! " "The liar froze:" 666, your road is deeper than mine. You'd better not come. "Hung up the phone.

Thank you for reading. During this period, I won many awards. I feel that in a few years, Ma Yun will be my brother. Haha, the third bunker. Look at the text!

1 liar: I, Jason, married a wealthy businessman in Macao, but my husband can't have children. I hope good people can help me!

Me: What do you mean? How can I help you?

Liar: I want a child. As long as you can help me realize this dream, I will give you 5 million!

Me: Mom! Mom!

The liar said, "Hello, I'm from the Municipal Anti-drug Brigade. I found a batch of contraband. The account was handled with your ID card, and now you need to provide proof of account opening. ,,,,,, "before he finished, I strike table:" Fuck, don't you dare to detain Lao Tzu's goods? Ask your director to explain it to me! " Then I slammed the phone across the street. I guess I was scared haha

I received a phone call before, and the man came up with an accent and said, "Hello, Teacher Liu!" "

"Who are you?"

"I can't even hear my own voice. How forgetful Teacher Liu is! " As soon as I heard it, I thought of the past and vaguely felt that I had met a liar, so I had a plan.

"Oh, you are the old bastard in Shenzhen!"

The other party was shocked: "Yes, it's me. You finally heard it. "

"Sorry, Lao Wang, who told you to change the number again?"

"Oh, yes, I changed my number again,,," I interrupted him and asked directly, "Lao Wang, how is your mother's illness?"

He paused: "Oh. ,,,, or the same, "

"Well, there's nothing I can do about it. By the way, has your dad's car accident been solved? "

"Well, almost,,," I can hear it, and I'm a little angry. Haha, I'm laughing to death here.