A cold joke in Putonghua

A cold joke about Putonghua

Lead: The most important thing in life is to be happy. The source of happiness often comes from life, and life is full of endless joy. For example, a joke may be your pastime after dinner. I specially arranged a cold joke about Putonghua for everyone, and everyone was happy.

Cold jokes about Putonghua (1)

1. Passengers:? Waiter, do you have soup? I want to wash my feet! ?

waiter:? Comrade, our guests have hot water to wash their feet! ?

passengers are in a hurry: Hey, soup is just hot water! ?

　2、? Classmate, where do you live?

　? Teacher, my family lives near the airport where the ash flies. ?

3. After dinner, the father took the children to look up at the starry sky, and the father said to the children. The stars are so far away from us that we can't see them with our right eyes. ? The child said to his father, I can't see with my right eye, so I'll see with my left eye!

4. A farmer's eldest brother used the bus IC card for the first time and handed it to the driver after getting on the bus. The driver said:? Brush it? (Nanchang dialect? Say? Brush? Homophonic, all read? shuo? ), so the big brother said softly to the IC card:? IC card? The driver got impatient and said? I want you to shuo it! ? The farmer's eldest brother thought, didn't I say that? Why do you want me to say it? Oh, by the way, he must not have heard me, or what I said was incomplete. So, the big brother said loudly to the IC card:? IC card of bus company! ? A car full of people are dizzy and laughing! ! ! Cold jokes about Putonghua (2)

1. The fish seller shouted at the top of his voice, "Fish, fish." Not to be outdone, a jujube seller next to him immediately shouted, "Shit (jujube), shit (jujube)." "Fish." "Oh,no." "Fish." "Shit." The more the fish seller listened, the more wrong he became. He felt that the jujube seller seemed to be deliberately against him, so they quarreled. 2. The director of a township enterprise will visit Kobe, Japan. He can't even speak Mandarin, but usually only speaks dialects. So he asked his subordinates to find an interpreter, and when they came back, they reported that "none of the Japanese translators could understand the factory director's dialect". The factory director said, "It's easy. We'll bring another teacher from our town and ask him to translate our dialect into Mandarin first." The subordinate said, "Not yet. When you get to Japan, you have to ask someone to take the Japanese? Mandarin' is translated into Kobe dialect. "3. A foreigner with a strong accent lost his way in the city. When he saw a gentle young lady coming, he greeted him and asked," Rabbit (comrade), give me a kiss (excuse me) ... "Before the words were finished, the young lady blushed with anger. 4. A southerner came to a snack bar in Beijing and said to the waitress, "How much is it to sleep for one night (a bowl of dumplings)? "Hearing this, the waiter changed his look and screamed," Rogue! "When the southerners heard this, they said," It's only sixty cents. It's cheap. Come for one night (bowl). "a cold joke about putonghua (3)

1. a pair of peasant brothers and sisters used a scooter to pull wheat to the market. a southerner came to their brothers and sisters and asked," eldest brother, how much is your little sister (wheat)? "Eldest brother was so angry that the veins stood out on his forehead.

2. The old man Niu is shouting, "I'm selling moon cakes, four dollars for ten. "Many people gathered around to buy this" cheap "moon cake, and when they paid for it, they realized that the old man's moon cake was four yuan for ten dollars.

3. Old people in nursing homes held a party on Mid-Autumn Festival night. The host, Mrs. Wang, said, "Ladies and gentlemen, the performance is damn (starting). Please be quiet. "

4. A northerner inquired where the" cable car "was in a park in Guangzhou. He searched according to the answer and found the" men's room ".

5. On the first morning after a couple got married, the family got up to wash their faces. The bride respectfully said to her mother-in-law, "Mother-in-law, please die (wash) first. "Say that finish, the bride said to the groom:" Mother-in-law is dead, will you die? "After a pause, I said," My mother-in-law and you both died, and finally I died. "After hearing this, my mother-in-law was livid and couldn't say a word. The bride said, "Mother-in-law, why aren't you dead? "

6. An old lady in Putian was selling sugar cane by the roadside. A bus stopped. A foreigner in the bus came to the old lady's stall to buy sugar cane. Just after weighing the sugar cane, the bus started without paying. The old lady urged, "Come on, give me the money and I'll marry you.". "Outsiders were so scared that they didn't even take sugar cane and got on the bus quickly.

7. A country girl came to the supermarket, and the waiter warmly greeted her: "What do you want, miss? "The girl said," I want your life (noodles), pig grandson (bamboo shoots). "

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