Math jokes and stories

A person's intelligence will shine brightly in humorous conversation and attract others deeply. Below, I collected and sorted out jokes about mathematics for you, adding humor cells, and you will be a bright spot if you are smart.

One day, the mathematician felt that he had had enough of mathematics and ran to the fire brigade to announce that he wanted to be a fireman. The fire chief said, you look good, but I have to give you a test first. ? The fire chief took the mathematician to the backyard alley of the fire brigade. There is a warehouse, a fire hydrant and a hose in the alley. The fire chief asked? Suppose the warehouse was on fire, what would you do? The mathematician replied:? I connected the fire hydrant to the water pipe, turned on the water pipe and put out the fire. ? The fire chief said, exactly! Last question: suppose you walk into an alley and the warehouse is not on fire, what would you do? The mathematician pondered for a long time in doubt and finally answered:? I set fire to the warehouse. ? The fire chief shouted: What? That's terrible! Why did you set fire to the warehouse? The mathematician replied:? In this way, I will simplify the problem into a problem that I have solved. ?

2. A farmer invited engineers, physicists and mathematicians to enclose the largest area with the least fences. The engineer fenced a circle and declared that it was the best design. The physicist drew the fence into a long straight line. Assuming time permits, he can pull the wood fiber as long as the equator. He thinks it is big enough to cover half the earth. The mathematician gave them a big laugh. He surrounded himself with several fences and said, I'm outside now. ?

Physicists and engineers lost their way in the Grand Canyon by hot air balloon. They shouted for help: hello? ! Where are we? After about 15 minutes, they heard the response echoing in the valley. Hello? ! You are in a hot air balloon! ? The physicist said:? That guy must be a mathematician. ? The engineer is puzzled:? Why? The physicist said:? Because it took him a long time to give a completely correct answer, but it was useless. ?

4. Constant function and exponential function e's x power are walking down the street, far away from the differential operator, and the constant function is scared to hide and say: Use it to distinguish, I have nothing! ? Exponential function unhurried way:? It can't do anything to me, I am the x power of e! ? Exponential function meets differential operator. Exponential function introduces itself:? Hello, I am the x power of e? Differential operator path:? Hello, I'm d/dy! ?

Physicists, astronomers and mathematicians happened to see a black sheep when they were walking on the Scottish Plateau. Huh? Astronomers say? So Scottish sheep are black ...? Come on, you can't just say that based on one observation. Physicists say,? You can only say that the black sheep were found in Scotland. It's not right either. Mathematicians say,? From this observation, you can only say: at this moment, this sheep, from our observation point of view, its surface is black.

Jokes and stories about mathematics 2 probability

I visited the weather station and saw many latest weather forecasting instruments. After the visit, I asked the stationmaster:

"You said there is a seventy-five percent chance of rain, how is this calculated? 」

Without much thought, the stationmaster replied, "That is to say, there are four people here, and three of them think it will rain. 」

figure

"Numbers don't lie," said the teacher. "If a house takes one person twelve days to build, twelve people only need one day. One hour is enough for 288 people. 」

A student went on to say, "Seventeen thousand two hundred and eighty people only need one minute, and 1,036,800 people only need one second. In addition, if it takes six days for one ship to cross the Atlantic, it takes six ships a day. Four cups of water at 25 degrees Celsius add up to boiling water! Numbers don't lie! 」

How many times?

The teacher asked questions in class:? How many wars took place in Spain in the 15th century?

? Six times. ? A student answered quickly.

? Which six times? The teacher asked again.

? First time, second time, third time, fourth time, fifth time and sixth time. ?

calculate

On the first day of the senior high school entrance examination, all the questions were multiple-choice questions, so classmate A took a dice and classmate B sat next to him. The following is the exam: A student lost the dice A: 3.1.1.3.4.2.4.2.1. Then a student finished writing, and soon after he started to sleep, another student got up and started to roll the dice.

What are you doing?

A: Check!

subtraction

In math class, the teacher said to a student, why can't you even subtract? For example, there are ten apples in your house, and you ate four. What is the result?

The student said gloomily. I got slapped ten times! ?

Jokes about Mathematics 3 500 Ducks

A male teacher said to two noisy female students: two women's voices are like the cries of a thousand ducks. ?

After a while, the teacher's wife came to visit him. One of the female students came to report it. ? Teacher, there are 500 ducks outside the door to see you. ?

half past eleven

In the fourth class in the morning, A is hungry and doesn't want to attend class. He sat in his seat, thinking about beef and bread.

The math teacher found him distracted and asked him: 1. 130 decimal moved one place to the right, what would happen?

A student answered without thinking:? There will be lunch! ?

right angle

Teacher:? How can you come to the conclusion that this angle is a right angle without proving this geometry problem?

Student:? I measured it with a protractor. ?

oral examination

In class, the teacher asked the students to judge right and wrong on the spot.

Teacher:? Xiao Lin, please judge. ?

Kobayashi:? I think the answer should be? A mistake? . ?

Teacher:? Why?

Kobayashi:? Because Xiaoyan in front replied? Is that correct? But you didn't ask her to sit down. ?

Questions and answers

Teacher:? I asked my classmates two questions. Whoever answers the first question will not be asked to answer the second question. Now I ask the first question: Who knows how many hairs they have?

Xiaoli:? I know, I have 99999 hairs. ?

Teacher:? how do you know

Xiaoli:? Teacher, this is the second question. You can't ask me to answer. ?

Paradox problem

I am discussing a paradox with my classmates: the only barber in the village has to cut the hair of those who don't, and ask who the barber is. It's really hard! Barbers cut their own hair, so they cut their own hair. A barber won't cut his own hair unless he cuts his own. How profound! The discussion was fruitless for a long time.

Qianmou, a classmate in the back row, inserted a sentence:? It's not easy, the barber is bald! ?

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