The child is disobedient? Talk back? Positive parenting graphic version, a picture allows you to solve parenting problems.

According to the theory of Rudolf Drex, a famous American child psychologist and educator, the essential reasons for 99% children's "opposition" with their parents are summarized as follows:

Therefore, when your child is unwilling to eat at the dinner table, crying uncontrollably, procrastinating and refusing to do homework, all seemingly unhealthy phenomena may be the signals sent by the child, but the messages are different.

Maybe I'm seeking your attention, maybe I'm challenging your authority, or I really don't know how to get out of the predicament.

American psychologist kohut said:

In the process of children's growth, if we can't decipher the signals sent by children, but arbitrarily and rudely scold, accuse and even punish them, it will only make children's hearts farther and farther away from us.

Maybe you will proudly say that I never beat or scold children, but I praise them and encourage them in the way of "rainbow fart"!

In order to be a better baby, some parents do praise their children's fancy with some positive "words" and even develop their own different schools. For example, thanking the rainbow fart is to amplify the advantages of children and encourage them to continue doing it; A competent rainbow fart is to make children feel trusted.

I like to praise children's parents with rainbow fart, and I also praise this practice as "positive discipline", which will not hurt children's self-esteem but also keep them in good behavior. It's really great!

But the fact is that neither the children who use the word PUA nor the fancy performance of rainbow fart have yet figured out the real reason for the children's bad behavior, as they said at the beginning. After a long time, giving up the basic intelligence will only make children feel cheated, not worth the loss.

How to make children distort the real reasons after performance and be wise and active parents? Perhaps this book "Positive Discipline Graphic Edition: 35 Common Solutions to Emotional Out-of-control of 0- 12-year-old Children" can let you walk into children and get to know them.

The author of this book is an illustrator. She is a collaborator of Anne-Claire Clinedinst, a clinical psychologist, and Linda Colazza, an illustrator. Based on jane nelsen's positive discipline theory framework, the author is faced with the problem that children aged 0- 12 are out of control. This book divides children's out-of-control behaviors into five categories, namely "he doesn't want to", "he can't control himself", "he feels useless", "he always talks endlessly" and "he won't associate with others". Only by distinguishing the types of children whose emotions are out of control can we really help them get out of the haze and make our parent-child relationship more harmonious.

What's more commendable is that the last part of the book also gives "10 Ways for you to improve your education", which looks at children's problems from the macro perspective of parents, thus guiding children to get along better with children in the future.

"It is better to teach people to fish than to teach people to fish." I won't take specific emotional problems as examples here, but try to summarize the core idea of active discipline for your reference.

Many parents, including myself, pretend to be modern parents and say that they respect their children and will not interfere casually. But the fact is, as parents, it's really hard to get rid of the preconceived idea of "daddy's taste" and always want to give directions to your life from time to time.

As Fan Deng said, when he plays football with his son, he always commands the children subconsciously. After playing, the son said, Dad, don't take part. We can't play well with you.

Hearing this, Fan Dengcai suddenly realized that he had commanded his children too much, but he didn't learn to observe, listen and integrate into their world.

Only by carefully observing children, including their inner world (feelings, thoughts, understanding of things and decisions made) can we accompany children to grow up in the most appropriate and flexible way.

Positive discipline encourages children not to be false praise, but to support children to find inner motivation. The utilitarian heart is too heavy, but it is not beautiful.

As the theory of formal training has always advocated, "the relationship and value between each family member are equal, and each member enjoys equal rights and undertakes corresponding obligations."

Only children who grow up in this kind of family can have better interpersonal relationships and adapt to society.

The theoretical support of this book comes from the concept of "active discipline" put forward by education experts such as Dr. jane nelsen, which is widely welcomed by parents all over the world.

There are many teachers in the market who talk about normal subjects, but very few use graphic theory. It is humorous and vivid to use cartoon scenes to show the process of parents and Xiong Haizi's wits and wits. Not only that, this book also uses the mind map to disassemble the positive discipline, so that parents can get started at a glance.

It is precisely because of this excellent expression that the original book "Positive Discipline Graphic Edition: 35 Common Solutions for Emotional Out of Control of Children Aged 0- 12" has rushed to the top 3 in the list of foreign parenting/adolescence guide books.

The author of "Positive Discipline Graphic Edition: 35 Common Solutions to Emotional Out-of-control of 0- 12-year-old Children" said in the book that we will make mistakes, misunderstandings, anger and disappointment on the road of raising children. This road is sometimes narrow, but it is always full of power.

Children are not copies of their parents, but a brand-new future. What we can do is try to teach them how to reach the finish line happily.

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