Excerpts from classic jokes

Excerpts from classic paragraphs, good words and sentences are the eyes of the article. Unforgettable sentences lie quietly in a corner of your heart. Excerpting good words and sentences can improve writing style, expand knowledge and extract classic jokes. I hope it inspires you.

Excerpted from the classic joke 1 1. A hunter bragged to his friend: I used to shoot tigers in Africa. Friend: Bullshit! There are no tigers in Africa! Hunter: That's because I killed them all!

2, three mice brag, A: I jumped into the jar and got drunk. B: That's nothing. There are clips everywhere, so I still dance. C raised his hand and looked at his watch. Excuse me, I should pick up the cat.

The teacher teaches Xiaoming to read. The teacher picked up a card: Mom. Xiaoming: Mom. The teacher changed a card: Dad. Xiao Ming didn't read it. The teacher repeated: Dad! Xiaoming: Why? The teacher vomited blood!

4. Mother: "Jack, go kiss the new tutor!" Son: "I dare not. Dad kissed her just now and she slapped her in the face! " "

5. A Dai pees and sees the words on the wall: Look up. Artie looked up curiously and saw that it said: Look up again, so he looked at it again. The wall near the ceiling says: You peed on your shoes!

6. I didn't drink at a friend's party because I wasn't feeling well at that time. After the end, a friend of the first and second pallets grabbed me and said, "I drank it and drove me back in my car." I readily agreed, gc came, went to the parking space to see, Nima bike.

7. The whole family drove for an outing. My son always reminds his parents to look at the scenery outside the window. "Mom, look, cow!" "Mom, look, goat" "Dad, dad, look, beautiful girl!"

8. Students in a foreign school read the text: The Eye of the Sun (Ran Ran dialect) rises. The teacher said angrily, speak Mandarin and roll your tongue! The student said gloomily that the sun was rolling its tongue.

9. Dad is chatting with the guests, and Xiao Qiang has something to say. Dad saw it and said, "Don't be so secretive. Say it out loud. " Xiao Qiang said loudly: Mom asked me to tell you not to keep guests for dinner!

10, mosquitoes like stagnant water, because mosquitoes can lay eggs and reproduce in stagnant water. Using this feature, we can take a basin of water and pour some washing powder into it. If it is not stirred, the water will gradually become strongly alkaline. In this way, after mosquitoes lay eggs in the basin, the offspring will not survive, and mosquitoes will die after laying eggs. In short, they don't have to move these days, and they can sleep well at night!

1 1. Now the company's restaurants are becoming more and more stingy. There are 9,486 grains served to me tonight, 430 grains less than 9,856 grains yesterday.

12. I met a Jianghu elder brother the other day. He has a carp tattooed on each side of his calf. The colors are red and black. The fish head on the left is facing up and the fish head on the right is facing down. He has a strong figure and a ferocious face. This is terrible. At dinner, someone finally asked about the meaning of tattoos. Big Brother lit a cigarette and said, "I was born in March 1976, 15 ..." We all cocked our ears and waited for this doomed story. Big Brother smoked a cigarette and said, "I am a Pisces".

13, wife: There are always extramarital affairs on TV. Will you have an affair? Husband: No. Wife: Why? Husband: I regret having you. I'll never have another one.

14, I never regret loving you. I miss you forever. I miss you so much that I can't sleep. I forget that you can't learn. A little pig is intoxicated in the mobile phone!

Excerpted from the classic joke Le Fantian 2 1. Once upon a time, a man named Shuang died. On the day of the funeral, his family shed tears in pain. They cried and cried at his grave. Shuang Shuang ... Shuang Shuang ... At this moment, passers-by asked, what are you doing? Shuang Jia replied with tears: we are so cool …

This short message is brief and to the point. No advertising, no nonsense. Sweet words are just bubbling. Just be happy and know yourself. Happiness can't run away, so I won't say what I think. I wish you success: Happy New Year!

3. New Year's Day is coming, it is too routine to give gifts, and there is no trick to bless. I only hope that my dear friends will be harassed by the God of Wealth every day, always illuminated by Maitreya, make big money, laugh happily and run happily.

This new year message came in the heat wave that swept through! May you have Buffett's financial resources, Furong's compact figure, the social status of the five bars, the enthusiasm of grabbing the salt tide, the wealth of the imperial city, and the same happiness as the longer the house price!

One day, a death row prisoner was being shot, but because of the quality of the bullet, the bailiff didn't make a sound in the first shot, the second shot and the third shot. When the bailiff was about to fire the fourth shot, the prisoner suddenly turned and hugged the bailiff's leg, crying and shouting: Brother, you can strangle me, it's really fucking scary …

6, train students to nourish the eight-character decision, saying: Voss is going to become a monk, is going to become a monk. Read aloud five times on the balcony every morning, and you will be alert and have an appetite. For the sake of your health, you must persist!

7. I wish you a "super guerrilla" in the new year: you can survive when you encounter difficulties. The longer you grow, the more you look like a white-faced scholar. Your speech can be full of fun. Worry makes it barren. Happiness makes it this life. Wish you a happy life!

8. This sincere, sincere message, one in a hundred, trudged all the way from thousands of miles away and finally got into your mobile phone, bringing you my deep affection-Happy New Year's Day! Don't forget, my friend

9. When buying clothes, the salesman (contemptuously): This dress is very expensive. Don't touch it unless you buy it. Jane Doyle: It seems that you are rich? Don't sell it if you have money!

10, Spring Festival, Tang Priest added a cotton gown, Wukong added cotton trousers, Friar Sand added a cotton cap, Bajie, your little hand, don't just play with your mobile phone to read text messages, remember to buy a small glove.

1 1. Laugh happily every day, live happily, feel better, and good luck will come. Happiness will naturally knock on the door, so the mentality is the most important. In the new year, I will send a short message to make you laugh happily!