"Silence is better than talking": No matter how capable a person is, don't say these three words.

Hertha Mueller said, "Silence is as important as speaking. Silence may lead to misunderstanding. I need to talk. " Talking has pushed me astray, and I must be silent. "

Speaking is an art, by the way, it can warm people's hearts; Wrong, it will hurt.

A good word warms three winters, and a bad word hurts June.

A wise man keeps silent when he knows he shouldn't say more.

After all, when the words are spoken, it's no use crying over spilt milk.

There are three words, even if you have any skill, don't say it.

0 1

A joke that hurts self-esteem

Su Dongpo, a generation of literary giant, has a quirk, that is, he loves to joke.

Many people were teased by him, and even Prime Minister Lu Weizhong could not escape the fate of being teased by Su Dongpo.

One day at noon, Su Dongpo went to play, and it happened that Lord Lu was resting. Su Dongpo waited for a long time before Liu Daren got up lazily to welcome guests.

In order to vent his long-standing dissatisfaction, Su Dongpo said that the green turtle in Lujia fish tank is too common, and the rare species is the six-eyed turtle. This suddenly aroused Lu Weizhong's curiosity and asked, "Where can I find this magical six-eyed turtle?"

Su Dongpo replied quietly: "In those days, Tang received a six-eyed turtle as a tribute to the vassal state, and its sleep time was better than others' three views." "

Comparing a person to a tortoise is out of proportion to most people, not to mention that the other person is the prime minister in power.

Nevertheless, as a colleague of Su Dongpo, the Prime Minister is often teased by Su Dongpo. One of them is China bookkeeper Liu Gongfu.

Gong Liu's father suffered from strange diseases in his later years, with all his hair and a collapsed nose.

At a colleague's dinner, Su Dongpo rewrote Liu Bang's wind song: "When the wind blows, the eyebrows are dancing, and the warriors protect their noses."

These two poems say that when the wind blows, Liu Gongfu's eyebrows fly away. As for his collapsed nose, I don't know how to raise it.

Su Dongpo used this to ridicule Liu Gongfu. Everyone present burst into laughter, and only Liu Gongfu was "disappointed".

Su Dongpo is witty, and it is understandable that he uses jokes to adjust his life. However, inappropriate jokes not only hurt people, but also cause unnecessary contradictions.

In his later years, Su Dongpo was impeached by students in Cheng Yi because of a joke with Cheng Yi. He was demoted again and again and suffered a lot.

Emerson said, "When joking with others, you must master the appropriate limits. Proper humor and banter, like the seasoning in meals, can make our life more relaxed and happy. However, too much or inappropriate seasoning can ruin a good meal. "

Humor is not self-satisfaction, but making the other person smile after listening.

A joke without proper limits is like a drawn sword, which cuts the self-esteem and self-cultivation of the other party.

Words are like knives, no matter how close the relationship is, don't make too many jokes.

02

Gossip about people's right and wrong

The ancients said: "Sit still, always think about yourself, gossip is not in people."

However, there are always people in life who like to listen to gossip and spread it for fun.

Lao Yao, the delivery driver of the aquatic product shop downstairs in my house, is such a person.

Lao Yao has a shortcoming, that is, he always likes to gossip behind people's backs. "A young man in the same dormitory found a second marriage girlfriend in his early twenties; It is said that after work, the aunt who cooks will go to collect junk and sell money, and the old people at home are lazy. " ……

Because of this nagging question, his colleagues in the shop don't like him very much.

I don't know who is blowing in the boss's ear, saying that Lao Yao often drinks at night recently. It happened that one day, when Lao Yao delivered the goods by car, he sent the wrong address, which delayed the customer's business. In a rage, the boss fired Lao Yao.

In terms of people's strengths, Lao Yao not only lost popularity, but also lost his job in the end.

"Five Lights Meeting Yuan" said: "Those who are right and wrong are also right and wrong."

People who talk about right and wrong, since they talk about other people's shortcomings in front of you, will naturally talk about your shortcomings in front of others, and people who love to talk about right and wrong are bound to get into trouble.

Han Han once said, "Shut up if you don't understand, because you never know what others have experienced."

Making judgments about unclear things will not only embarrass the other party, but also label yourself as "unreliable".

The whole picture is unknown and will not be evaluated. Words speak louder than words, but work is more than enough. This is the foundation of doing things and the wisdom of being a man.

A wise man knows whether Zheng Mo is long or short in front of others, but he doesn't know whether it is right or wrong in front of others.

03

Complain about other people's complaints.

In life, nine times out of ten people are unhappy. Smart people know how to live a life full of flavor and never complain about others. This is the case in Cai Lan.

Cai Lan has a collection of essays, Jianghu Old Friends. In the preface, Mr. Jin Yong commented on this old friend:

"Cai Lan is a real natural and unrestrained person. I am sincere and chic, and I can treat life with a relaxed and lively attitude, especially when facing the loss or unpleasant experience in life, I can face it calmly. If nothing happens, I will not only look like this, but also really laugh it off. "

Cai Lan never complains about the bad food or the bumpy car.

But Cai Lan is not trouble-free. Many years ago, he told the media that when he was filming in Thailand with director Li Hanxiang in his early years, everything didn't go well, and he complained. Encountered a small stone Buddha on the side of the road, he suddenly realized:

"I realized that I could leave it alone like a stone statue. The problem can't be solved anyway. Why bother? "

People have more pain than pleasure in this life. However, how to turn bitterness into sweetness depends on the mentality.

Someone asked, "Life is so bitter. Why do people live and suffer? "

Cai Lan replied, "Wait for sugar."

Instead of complaining about the bitterness of life, think about the sweetness after suffering.

Cai Lan not only lived happily with a philosophical mind, but also cured all sentient beings with positive thoughts.

Takehisa Yumeji wrote in Sailing: "The life you always talk about is your life. People are always easily hypnotized by what they say. I am afraid that many complaints you always talk about will become the whole of your life. "

Your mouth is your feng shui, don't complain.

Roughness is the background color of life. Some people make their lives black and white in their complaints, while others live as if nothing had happened and their lives are colorful.

Live your life to the fullest and don't waste time complaining.

04

Deep water is silent, and people are steady.

Hemingway once said in For Whom the Bell Tolls: "It takes two years to learn to speak, but it takes a lifetime to learn to shut up."

Excessive jokes hurt people's self-esteem, casual gossip stirs up trouble, and complains about the burden of life.

Speaking is instinct, silence is skill.

A truly capable person will distinguish between occasions and objects before speaking, keep a clear head and always control the scale of speaking.

Don't do what you want, and don't say what you want.

Take care of your heart and your mouth, and life will be smooth sailing.