Jokes suitable for listening before exams.

The college entrance examination laughs at Chinese dictation (many people laugh). After the college entrance examination, it is the senior high school entrance examination ... There are various questions and answers. I really admire today's students, who are free-thinking and unrestrained, which is quite different from our routine at that time, hehe. Look at the fill-in-the-blank questions in a group of Chinese test papers-1. _ _ _ _. The student replied: I will never regret taking off my clothes (the correct solution is "my clothes are getting wider and wider", which I admit is my brain's problem). 2. How can I know so much about the canal? _ _ _ Students answer: There is a clear spring in my heart (the correct answer is "flowing water comes from the source". After class, I fainted again! The correct solution is "late rain time". Mayfly shook the tree, and _ _ _ replied that it did not move (the correct answer was "ridiculous overreaching"). Quietly, wonderful, very in line with the facts. ) 5. The beauty of a gentleman's adult, _ _ _ _ _ Student A: The villain is favored (directly fainting) 6. The poor are alone, _ _ _ Student A: The rich have wives and concubines (positive solution: reaching the top to help the world) 7. _ _ _ _ _, everyone knows you. Student A: As long as it seems. _ _ _ _ Student A: Iron bars can also be ground into needles ~ ~ (I guess it's not as simple as grinding into needles) (the correct solution is "but his love for three thousand is concentrated on one person") 9. Although my body doesn't have the bright wings of a phoenix, _ _ Student A: It's better to pull a chicken than a phoenix. Another student A: Both husband and wife go home (the correct answer is "However, I feel the harmonious heartbeat of the sacred unicorn") 10. Sunrise in the east and rain in the west. ) 12. I hope people live long. _ _ _ Student A: A meeting lasts forever (I laughed hysterically at that time, but now I think it's quite classic. The positive solution is "a thousand miles * * * Chanjuan") 13. Egrets fly in front of Mount Cisse. _ _ Student A: Climbing turtle by the river in Dongcun (right) 14. I suggest that god stand up again. _ _ _ Student A: God yelled at me three times. _ _ _ _ Classmate A: Show magical powers at a critical moment, and another classmate A: Mouse's son can make holes (the Chinese teacher in the whole office laughs without image) 16. If the sky is sentimental, it will be old. _ _ classmate a: people don't waste their youth! (The positive solution is "If the moon is long and round, I don't hate it" and Li He's "Golden Copper Immortal Ci Han Song") (The other sentence is "The right path in the world is vicissitudes") 17. If relatives and friends in Luoyang ask each other, _ _ _ students answer: Please don't tell him (the correct answer is "a piece of ice heart is in the jade pot") 18. At the end of the semester. The first couplet is the hero of the work, and the couplet of junior high school students is: I have the rich charm of 19. Bitter pills may have wholesome effect. _ _ Student A: You are a fool if you don't eat. No one has died since ancient times. _ _ Student A: It's just that you have died in order (ending: the teacher stayed to talk to the birds after the parent-teacher meeting ...) 20. The foot of my bed is so bright, _ _ Student A: Li Bai is asleep. Positive solution is "visible") 22. _ _ _, fly into the homes of ordinary people. A: Kangjia Restaurant TV 23. Wine luminous cup, _ _ A: There are many beautiful women with money. 24._ _ _, pedestrians on the road want to kill souls. The representative work of first-year students: ghosts knocking at the door in the middle of the night 25. There is also Tao Yuanming's exam question "Five buckets of rice can't be folded". _ _ _ Student A: Wife, my wife, and another person's wife (the teacher later commented that the classmate was particularly dedicated, haha) 27. I thought that Jin Ge was an iron horse in those days. _ _ Student A: Today, I am stubbornly entangled and fighting (the correct solution is "swallowing Wan Li like a tiger") 28. I got "three heads are better than two stooges" in an exam in grade five. "Holding the mountain to climb the city among the white clouds, _ _ _ _ _" Student A: I went to the hotel to hold the young lady to bed (his Chinese teacher almost vomited blood on the spot) 30. If the relationship is long-lasting, _ _ Student A: When they got married, it was 3 1, and Qian Fan passed by the shipwreck. _ _ Student A: There are many tricks to be complacent. 32. Use books, but hate less. _ _ _ _ Classmate A: People die young in love (the correct solution is "if you don't hate, the month will grow") 34. No one has died since ancient times. _ _ Classmate A: Does anyone have a paper stool (speechless ...) 35. I once took an examination of Li Qingzhao's dream sequence "Do you know? Do you know that?/You know what? _ _ _ "Student A: Sorry, I DONT't know ... (The correct answer is" green manure, red skinny ") 36. I once tested a sentence of Lu Xun: "_ _, I spilled my blood on Xuanyuan" Student A: He stabbed me with a knife.