Are there any jokes suitable for junior high school students?

1 In physics class, the teacher talked about radioactive elements and said: Radioactive elements are very dangerous, so you humans must stay away from them! !

2 Xiao Lei showed a high school classmate who came to see him around the university dormitory. He pointed to the dormitory group on the left side of the road and said, "This is the girls' dormitory area, called Vega Department." Pointing to the dormitory group on the right side of the road, he said, "That's the boys' dormitory area, called the Cowherd Galaxy." Pointing to the road under his feet, he said, "This road is called Yinhe Road." At this time, the female teacher in charge of the student dormitory passed by with a straight face, and Xiao Lei said quietly, "This is the Queen Mother."

3 The college history exam is an oral exam. The professor asked three questions, which the history student couldn't answer. In order to give him a chance to pass the exam, the professor finally asked him, "Who discovered America?" "..." The professor shouted angrily, "Christopher Columbus!" The student started to go out, and the professor stopped him in surprise: "Hey, why are you leaving?" "Sorry, didn't you call the next candidate?"

4 In a Chinese exam, the poem "I don't know how to come here" in Bai Juyi's "Peach Blossom in Dalin Temple", and the correct answer should be "I always hate that I have nowhere to find my spring home". A classmate in the front row of me simply filled in "I always hate that the village girl has nowhere to find her".

In high school, I also wrote poems and sentences. The last sentence is: "Luoyang relatives and friends are like asking each other"; One of my classmates filled in: "Just say I'm in Yueyang Tower".

In a Chinese exam in senior high school, I also filled in the following sentence: "Mayflies shake the tree, ()". One of my classmates wrote: "Not moving". It is in line with the facts.

in the Chinese exam in senior high school, write the next sentence of ancient poetry. The last sentence is: "When the mountain flowers bloom", one person in our class actually filled in: "I will try my best to pick the flowers".

In the past, students read the text, including one sentence: Take out the banana fan. The original pause should be to take out the banana fan, fan. That classmate directly read: take out the banana, fan fan!

The teacher said, "Egrets fly in front of Mount Cisse", but a classmate couldn't hold back for a long time, so he replied, "Black turtles climb by the river in the East Village"!

5 The constant function and the exponential function E are walking in the street, and when they see the differential operator far away, the constant function hides in a hurry and says, "Differentiate by it, and I have nothing!"

The exponential function said unhurriedly, "It can't do anything to me, I am the x power of E!"

exponential function meets differential operator.

Exponential function introduces itself: "Hello, I am the X power of E."

the differential operator said, "hello, I'm' d/dy'!"

in CET-4, a classmate is going to roll the dice to make multiple-choice questions.

he said: 1234——ABCD!

q: what should I do if I roll to 5 or 6?

yue: reward again!

The classroom is very noisy, and the teacher can't help sighing: "If the students playing cards in the middle are as quiet as those listening to the radio at the back, it won't affect the students sleeping in front."

There are five minutes before class is over, and the teacher concludes: "Today, the students who played cards, chatted, listened to the radio and slept all reached the standards required by the teacher, which is very encouraging! In addition, the score of the last test has been posted on the bulletin board in front of the teaching building. Two students who have a picnic are responsible for informing those who went to the party today but didn't come to class. Please ask the students who look at the scenery by the window to call up the students who play football on the playground so that I can announce the class is over. "

8 in class.

Xiaoming was sleeping soundly. Suddenly, the teacher called his name and asked, "Are tomatoes vegetables or fruits?" Xiao Ming quickly replied, "It's vegetables!" "Well," the teacher frowned. Xiao Ming quickly corrected: "It's fruit!" The teacher frowned again. Xiao Ming didn't know how to answer: "Yes, yes, yes, what is it?" The teacher said loudly: "I want you to translate this sentence into English! ! ！”

9 A robber in new york, USA, said a wise saying when robbing a bank: "Nobody moves, money belongs to the country, and life is your own!"

1MM looking for Tsinghua University, only to get lost. Fortunately, I met a gentle professor with several thick books in his arms. "Excuse me, how can I get to Tsinghua University?" The professor pondered for a while and said earnestly, "Studying, you can only go to Tsinghua University if you keep studying hard."

11 A teacher with a strong accent dictated to his students <; < Wochun > > The contents are as follows:

Sleeping in spring

Dark plum smells flowers, lying branches hurt and hate low, and smelling the shore like water from afar is easy to reach Chun Lv.

the shore is green, the shore is green, and the shore is dark green.

A student listened and wrote:

I am stupid

I have no education, and my IQ is very low. Ask me who I am, a big donkey.

I'm an ass, I'm an ass, and I'm a stupid ass.

12i noh ss! W i, you must not understand, stupid, boy! The phone is upside down!

13 I ran into you, and I was at a loss. I can't avoid your affectionate eyes. I know your heart. I ran as fast as I could, but you followed me closely. I cried, "Whose dog is nobody's business?"

14 Let me ask you a riddle: All the pigs in the world are dead, so name a song. . . . . . . . . . . . . Forget it, "at least you"!

15 the first time I saw you, I said to myself: you are my goal in this life, I want to pursue you, I want to hug you. I want to announce: I love you … RMB!

16 do you know why you and I are destined for each other in this life? In fact, we knew each other thousands of years ago, and it was also spring. You chased me for a long time, leaving your teeth marks on me, which made an eternal story. At that time, my name was Lv Dongbin

, right?