Looking for jokes. . . . .

Thank God

A Christian encountered a lion in the forest. The lion chased him and wanted to eat him. When the Christian was desperate, he knelt on the ground and prayed loudly: " Lord! Please inspire this lion and make him a Christian!" Unexpectedly, the lion fell to the ground and said loudly: "Thank God for giving me abundant food, Amen!" /p>

Last Words

A man slipped while repairing the roof of his house. As he fell and passed through the kitchen window, he shouted to his wife: "Master, what are you doing today?" Make someone’s lunch!”

Confession

Someone (to the church): Father, I...I am guilty...Priest: Say it, my child, What's the matter? Someone: I hid a Jew who was being hunted by the Nazis. Priest: Why do you feel guilty? Someone: I hid him in the basement of my house. . . . and I asked him to pay me 1,500 francs a day. . . . But I haven’t told him yet. It's over!

Checkout

A customer ate slowly in the restaurant, then ate fruit and smoked cigarettes when the waiter brought the bill. He touched his bag and pretended to be panicked and said: "Oops, my wallet is missing." The waiter asked expressionlessly: "Really?" So he took the man to the door and shouted orders to him "Squat down." Then he kicked him out of the door. At this time, a customer sitting at another table automatically walked to the door, squatted down in the same way, and then turned around and said to the waiter: "Checkout"

Contribution

There is a village that wants to build a swimming pool. The village chief called on everyone to contribute to raising funds for the swimming pool. One day the village chief came to Uncle Sam's house and said to Uncle Sam. : "Uncle Sam, our village is going to build a swimming pool. As an old villager, you will definitely contribute." Uncle Sam said, "Yes, I have been looking forward to this swimming pool for many years, and I will definitely try my best. Village Chief, wait." After saying that, he entered the house. After a while, Uncle Sam took out a bucket of water and said to the village chief: "If the village chief doesn't have enough, just come."