Do you think it's too tiring to raise children?

Parents of the one-child generation have a special sense of distraction: fewer children, more parents, and several adults circling around a child, but more and more complaining that it is too difficult to take care of. Even after giving birth to a second child, mom and dad will only feel more tired. Why on earth is this?

In fact, the tiredness of raising a baby is mainly reflected in these seven aspects:

1. Expect too much from children.

In most China families with children, children are the center of the center. Parents revolve around their children all day, planning everything for their children, from birth, kindergarten, primary school, junior high school, high school to college, children's work, marriage, buying a house, children's own children, almost without a day's interruption.

So tired for decades, why not?

The root cause of this kind of fatigue is that parents expect too much from their children, including their own development and parents' return.

2. People other than parents participate too much.

We often see that parents in some developed countries can push one in a stroller, hold one in their arms and hold one in their hands, with a small group of children.

The typical scene of China's family is a group of people, with a baby, taken care of by their parents, served by their grandparents, and even followed by a nanny and aunt carrying a bag for logistical support, which is so ostentatious that they can catch up with the emperor's inspection.

3. The heart of comparison is too heavy

Other children have attended various remedial classes. Are we going to participate? If not, will the child lose at the starting line?

Other children are eating hundreds of barrels of foreign milk powder. If you don't eat it, will it affect your child's development?

Other children are wearing famous brands and brands. If we don't buy it, will we be laughed at for being poor?

Others, others, others ... In the eyes of a considerable number of parents, they look at others too much all the time, and they often take what others do and how to do it as the criterion and guidance.

We should always look at others and try our best to keep up with them so as not to fall behind. How can I not be anxious or tired?

However, others are others and we are us. We have our own principles, choices and behaviors. Why do you want to follow others?

4. Too much involvement in children's affairs

Parents want to do their best for their children, but they often interfere too much in their children's affairs and cultivate children who can't be independent since childhood.

Children go to school, help carry schoolbags and remember homework; The children do their homework, and mom and dad accompany them to stare; What tasks did the teacher assign? Often, children have not thought about what to do, and parents are rushing to help them finish it. Not to mention staring at the children eating, dressing, bathing and going to the toilet every day.

In this way, the children who are "taken care of" have almost only two things left in their lives: attending classes and attending interest classes. They can neither develop the ability of independent study nor live independently, so their parents have to take care of, serve and be tired all the time.

Only by cultivating children's autonomy from an early age, including independent living, independent learning, independent reading and independent emotions, can parents really relax. This is not to be lazy, but to let the child really grow into an independent individual and become a better self.

5. Information overload, lack of views

Besides the above reasons, China's parents are tired of raising children. There is another reason that is not so obvious, but it certainly exists, because they are exposed to too much information, but lack opinions on how to raise children.

Seeing that children need prenatal education here, they quickly learn to do prenatal education; Seeing that children need early education there, they quickly take their children to various early education classes; Seeing that the newborn needs swimming exercise here, I took the baby to the infant swimming pool; I saw that the child wanted to make up this and that, so I quickly went to buy it for the child.

A lot of time and energy are spent collecting as much information as possible, and then running around with this information.

Parenting needs a certain degree of "separation"-we don't really need so much information, what's more important is to form our own "opinions" through independent reading and learning-I know what kind of methods are good, I know what I should do, and I know which ones should be adhered to and which should be debugged.

In this way, we don't need to be impacted and overwhelmed by overloaded information, and we can adopt a simple, effective and unchanging way in parenting life. The whole process will be much simpler and easier.

6. Dad is too little involved.

There is a very sharp saying called "Widowed Parenting", which is about the situation that the father does not participate in parenting and is absent from the child's growth.

Dad doesn't take part in taking care of the children. Taking care of the children is the mother's business. I'm afraid this is the normal state of many families in China, and it is also an important reason why quite a few mothers feel tired with their children.

Parents take care of their children together, not only sharing the specific work in parenting life, but also discussing various issues about the size of their children together, reaching a consensus and then putting them into action together.

The advantage of this way is that the workload can be reduced by sharing, and both children and parents can establish close relationships. Of course, more importantly, the company of parents can make children's psychology and personality develop more healthily.

7. Irrational consumption and excessive economic pressure

The last and most inevitable reason for raising children is economic pressure. Some parents unilaterally think that they should try their best to give their children the best, and their consumption is not rational enough, resulting in excessive economic pressure.

As the saying goes, "ten acres of land per son". It is not difficult to raise a child from an already born baby, but hard work does not mean stress and fatigue. We have seen parents who are tired with their children, and we have seen many parents who feel relaxed and happy with their children.

Are you tired of raising children? It still depends on how mom and dad choose. If mom and dad can get rid of those factors that make parenting life exhausting, I believe that parenting will become a quite pleasant, beautiful and relaxed life journey.