One of "30"

He slammed the door and left. This is not the first time he has slammed the door. He hates it. All the familiar surroundings are like a nightmare. He disliked home since he was a child. Panting, he went downstairs and went to an unknown place.

He is always very emotional and quarrels with his parents if he doesn't agree with each other. But he really hates this alcoholic father and gambling mother. Growing up, he never hated them, because he was happy and healthy for his growth.

The sky downstairs is as gray as an egg. It's extremely gloomy, and it's raining in Mao Mao. He hates eggs most, but when he looks up at the sky, he suddenly thinks of hateful eggs. He is in a bad mood. The present scene is like an abyss in a dream, or the peace before the end of the world, which is creepy.

"Shit!" He scolded, and by the way, he kicked over the carton that I don't know who put it next to him. It was full of rubbish. "Unfortunately, it happened to be cloudy that day." He is wearing a thin coat, but he doesn't feel cold. Maybe it's because I just quarreled, my face flushed and my body was extremely hot. As soon as the cold wind blows, he is sweating and a little cold.

Lu Yu, 27, is an ordinary person to the extreme. If we have to consider this person with the concept of "people are born useful" or "since God has given talents, let them be employed", it may be reading. Lu Yu always likes to sit in that noisy "China Cafe" and read articles all afternoon. Lu Yu likes to browse the classic literature that most people hate, such as Lu Xun's essays or Camel Xiangzi. He likes to classify them as art and folk art, and these colorful articles always make Lu Yu relish. Some emotions are extremely abstract, which always makes Lu Yu think, saying that it's just a wild guess. After all, a thousand readers have a thousand Hamlets. He sometimes loves to write by himself, but he is really not good at writing stories, only good at writing imaginary long speeches. Lu Yu has nothing to do all day, probably because sports reporters don't know where and who to interview all day. Lu Yu doesn't like this profession at all. He became a journalist because he wanted to see the outside world and help write articles. But he didn't expect that it was not ideal at all. He has to squeeze in the crowd to catch his breath, stand out from the crowd, let the stars notice you, and finish an unskilled essay overnight. It's disgusting. It's an insult to literature. But who can escape the truth of this world? Being rich is the truth, and being alive is the truth. Lu Yu doesn't like those chicken soups. They are really full of loopholes, but he likes to say that he likes to write by himself, as if he can write a good hope for life, just like an ostrich burying its head in the soil in vain.

He wants to walk to the coffee shop. He always likes to come to this place. The boss of this family has a good relationship with him. In the final analysis, they are all temperamental people and have a little world. Feet unconsciously brought him here, and even now I forget why I left home. Come to think of it, Lu Yu also forgot to quarrel with them. Lu Yu didn't bring much money, so she had to shyly ask the waiter for a latte. People don't like to order the cheapest. Everywhere she goes is at least one or two yuan more expensive than the cheaper ones, unless there is a discount or something special. This is ridiculous. He thought he might not. But why are you shy? Oh, I'm afraid I feel the same way. Everyone doesn't want to put bad facts on themselves. Not good at all. Lu Yu usually orders cappuccino or something when he comes here. Then he took the change and receipt and found a corner to sit down.

He usually makes this corner, not only because it is a corner, although there is nothing special about it, but some people just like it, as if they can keep their privacy, but because this window seat can just see the best viewing position of this boring block outside the window. You can see the grocery store in the community and the intersection where the pedestrian green light is too short. Lu Yu had several car accidents there because he was so obsessed with walking and listening to music that he didn't look at the traffic lights. You can also see a tall building here, just in front of you, so familiar and so far away. The building is made of glass, which may be as high as 20 or 30 stories. Lu Yu especially likes to stare at it all the time, just like staring at the sacred sky. He dreamed that one day he would jump off the roof. ...

"Hello, sir, your latte is hot ..." The moment Lu Yu was called back. He said unhappily, "I really don't know why he interrupted me." I don't know. Do I want a latte? Or I don't know if the latte is hot, or is he implying that I am a teacher rather than a classmate? I took a sip of coffee. Maybe because I look like a classmate, he deliberately asked my husband to interrupt me. If I am a successful person in a suit and tie, I think he will put down his coffee and leave quickly. "

When Lu Yu was a child, he often liked to play near that tall building. There is an abandoned factory with rotten stone steps and walls. In the movie, it looks like a terrible building. He and his friends always like to play hide and seek there. There are two floors in total. There is a basketball court on the first floor, which is indoor. The basket is rotten, but you can still see the outline. It is said that this place used to be a public club for everyone to play. When he was a child, he always came here in groups to play. One person grabs, many people hide, and close your eyes for one minute. They hid, and their captors began to look for them. Walking alone in this empty building, my back is still a little cold. If you find one, look for it with this person. Second, third, fourth … until the last one, that person is the winner. The winner can skip the next round of guessing and then hide. In the last round, people won't know his hiding place. They will shout and wait for him to come out blindfolded.

All the children in that area play this game here, and there is still a time limit, for example, from 3 pm to 5 pm, the children in Class 1 play this kind of thing. When I was a child, I heard a legend that there was an old winner, and everyone never found his hiding place. Finally, for a long time, everyone asked him where he was, and the child became stupid. It's really stupid, as if I saw something unclean. Stupid and scary. The adults said that I was depressed at that time … I was afraid that I had stayed in a dark place for a long time and was afraid to return to this world.

Now that I think about it, I have mixed feelings. It feels like a happy childhood memory, and it is horrible, like a nightmare. Now, Lu Yu is an ordinary person, although he always thought he was a superhero or something when he was a child.

He felt dizzy, perhaps because of physical exhaustion caused by quarreling. There are very few people in the cafe, only the waiter is bored playing with his mobile phone. He put away his mobile phone, covered his coat and planned to take a nap. ...

"Sir, wake up, we're off work ..." The waiter woke up Lu Yu who had been sitting on this damn stool all afternoon. It's ten o'clock and the coffee shop is closing. He was confused and had a headache.

"Um ... I'm leaving," Lu Yu said to the waiter, rubbing his eyes. It's already raining lightly, and it's extremely gloomy, much more gloomy than in the afternoon, almost like it's going to collapse. If a person's mood is not affected by any food, it will definitely be affected by the weather. Lu Yu picked up his clothes and prepared to go out. He even forgot why he was here. If he didn't remember quarreling with his parents when he wanted to go home, maybe he really didn't know why he wanted to go out. Lu Yu was shivering with cold without an umbrella. He curled himself up into a ball, then stretched every muscle on his body and walked at a brisk pace, his head between his shoulders and wearing a sweater hat. Although it may be useless, he didn't even eat dinner, as if he hadn't eaten for a long time, or even breakfast or lunch, but he did. He is really cold, which makes people feel that he is in the South Pole, or that he is walking on January Street in the northeast with short sleeves. His face is very hot, which makes him really unhappy.

It's absolutely necessary to put on a noble gesture when you can't go home, but it's just a matter of dying unsatisfied and humiliating. Whether it is family, love or friendship, as long as there are contradictions and disputes, people will do this, and people who care about the world will do the same. He still has some money, but not enough to stay in a hotel. He thought, "I should be able to stay in the bar for another night." This month is really hard. I haven't drunk for a long time. Now I want to drink him myself and get drunk. " This is really not a good idea. When you are in a bad mood, you will think about broken pots and broken falls. Few people will restrain themselves from trying to spend these days calmly, which is very cute. Obviously, Lu Yu is not. Alcohol is always a good thing to paralyze the nerves. It seems that it really doesn't exist after drinking it. It seems that it doesn't matter what troubles you have. You all love it! I don't care who it is! I live for myself. Everyone tries to repent the next day, and everyone who gets lost must be like this. Drunkenness will only bring remorse and self-blame for a long time after the next day, and unforgivable things will happen occasionally.

Lu Yu walked to the crossroads, got on the bus and went downtown. There is a good bar there! It is really a place for young people to play.

Everywhere is full of lights and feasts. Great music is shaking, which can be felt across the ground 500 meters away. Lu Yu stared at everything around him, familiar and unfamiliar. Every time before, it was because he was in a bad mood. Why today! So depressed, so dizzy, not even excited. He looked at the lost pedestrians around him like a joke. Wearing a handsome trench coat or sexy skirt, some are smoking and some are talking on the phone. It looks very vivid, as if everyone else is very interesting and busy, and he is the only one who is confused.

He walked into the gorgeous building, and the security guard at the door even looked at him with strange eyes, which made him feel that he really didn't live alone. There is a man and a woman kissing in the corner, and even if passers-by pass by, they have not lost interest at all. There are often a few fashionable little men walking around in groups, chatting with some noble-looking women, talking and laughing, like friends who have known each other for a long time, and like bosom friends who have known each other for a long time. In fact, Lu Yu knows that it's just a monster wearing a false mask, ready to vent his emotions and hormones for strange reasons, which is very boring. He walked into the bar, sat on the platform, ordered a bottle of beer, skillfully opened the bottle cap and took a sip.

"You said, I'm unlucky, plain, no good friends, nothing, work also won't, the director always don't give me a chance, as if to see me not pleasing to the eye? What did I do to him, really! My family, my parents don't like me and everything is muttering about me. Growing up, I was not so good myself! But still ask me to be so tall! " Lu Yu is talking to himself loudly. The waiter looked at it strangely. He took another sip and rolled his eyes.

He had a strange dream, Lu Yu thought. And this dream is terrible and stinging, at least everyone he talked to thinks so-he just wants to live to be 30 years old. Lu Yu even began to think so at an early age. On her thirtieth birthday, she jumped from her favorite tall building and fluttered with the wind. Everyone thinks he is crazy. However, he really doesn't think so. It is not his vicious words when he is angry, nor his nonsense when he is frustrated and doesn't want to live. This is a long and positive dream, ending his life at the best moment, and then feeling death. He has lived for 27 years before, and the influence of family environment and friends has become a habit. He doesn't feel sorry for it, nor does he feel sorry for having a useless parent and a group of thoughtless friends. Some people should accept their fate. There is no such thing as going astray and self-indulgence. This is all arranged by God, but I can't decide my own life, and I can't decide my own life. I always decide my own death. Perhaps, for someone who has no nostalgia for the world like him, death is really a kind of happiness and relief. Lu Yu wants to die. God can't stop him unless the building is not high enough. Since he became sensible, this building has stood there as if it were his 30th birthday present.

People are always confused. Reading and experiencing is to see more clearly, and seeing more clearly is to know more about death. Lu Yu has read many world famous books. In his mind, death is beautiful. Personally speaking, it is the sublimation of life. It is that there is a cancer cell missing on the earth, and it is not scary or terrible to wake up from a dream.

"I have no money, I have never been in love, and even my relatives don't like me. Friends are fair-weather friends who can't make friends. Even if I can make friends, I have self-knowledge and will not bring these terrible brainwashing thoughts to my friends. Friends, aren't they just for sharing happiness? Ha, ha, ha, at this time, if someone falls in love with me and has any chance to change their lives, it will be funny ... "Lu Yu told the waiter that wine is everywhere. The man looked at him with a surprised face. He doesn't know what to say, but he seems afraid of not offending any serious guests. I mean, the waiter really didn't read it. Liu Yu really looks like a poor boy who is driven crazy. But the waiter still said timidly, "Sir, go to sleep, get up tomorrow, and everything will be fine ...".

Liu Yuxiao, I don't know whether this smile is irony, regret or relief. He had a bottle of wine in his right hand, his left hand fell on the bar, and his feet were on the horizontal railing under the chair of the next guest. He fell down slowly, thinking nothing, thinking nothing, and went to sleep unscrupulously.

The noise of the bar is accompanied by lonely people who are unique to this city. They revel here, and the rest may be scribbled after dawn, or lies, deception and plot attacks are flying around the world without leaving a trace. A good man is not a good man, and a bad man is not a bad man. All disappointments come from despair after longing, as Lu Yu did.

Cracking sound, an invisible hydrogen bomb may have exploded, and the released energy was hit by the lightning rod of this bar. As it happens, the only power supply is at Lu Yu's feet. ...