What should I do with my mother-in-law

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In Beijing, I met Li Jian (a pseudonym).

It's been a year since I last saw him. Now, seeing his high spirits, I feel that I'm getting along well.

I asked him about his recent work, and he joked, "Let's not talk about such a heavy topic. Let's take it easy. I'll tell you how I handled my mother-in-law."

I am very interested in this topic. His girlfriend is his junior, a very good girl. They talked for several years and had a good relationship.

However, the girlfriend's family is very opposed to them being together.

My girlfriend's family condition is very good, and she belongs to an intellectual family. My grandfather graduated from Tsinghua University and studied as an engineer in the Soviet Union, and my grandmother was a young lady from a big family.

She is the only child in the family, and the family has three rigid requirements for the future son-in-law: no Henan people; Can't find rural people; No brothers or sisters.

isn't this naked discrimination? However, when a mother-in-law looks for a son-in-law, she always has requirements, all for the sake of her daughter's well-being.

However, Li Jian was all shot. He was from Henan and came from the countryside, and he had a younger brother. Her girlfriend completely found the opposite one, and the family didn't let her find anything, so she just found something.

My girlfriend once joked that she must find a master's degree, not lower than her own. As a result, her boyfriend graduated from college.

My parents were very angry and had a fierce quarrel. She didn't blame her parents, tried to appease them, worked as parents, and got a chance to meet her boyfriend.

Li Jian is particularly confident. He thinks that he can get rid of his mother-in-law as long as he meets her. At least he has helped others to change a lot of resumes and plan many interviews. If he can't pass this pass, don't mix up in the future.

This is the difference between him and others. He has a good attitude and understands his mother-in-law's harsh demands. /fc1f413497a34e489fab33dac8a786c8175cbd? X-BCE-process = image/resize, m _ lfit, w _ 45, h _ 6, limit _ 1/quality, q _ 85

He analyzed these requirements one by one, why not ask Henan people? It turned out that my girlfriend, grandma and dad were cheated by Henan people, and the impression was very bad.

But communication can eliminate prejudice. I have heard bad comments from Henan people before, but after I became good friends with a group of Henan people such as Li Jian, I have no such prejudice.

Li Jian thinks that as long as we meet, this prejudice does not exist.

why don't you want to find rural people? Mother-in-law is mainly worried about the problem of providing for the aged. Parents don't have endowment insurance, and the burden on their daughters will be too heavy in the future.

in a word, the requirements of my girlfriend's family are not high, I just want to find a suitable one.

Since none of Li Jian's conditions meet his mother-in-law's requirements, how did he get his mother-in-law's approval? /55e736d12f2eb938a14f713bde628535e4dd6fdc? X-BCE-process = image/resize, m _ lfit, w _ 45, h _ 6, limit _ 1/quality, q _ 85

Li Jian used his spare time to help others revise their resumes and plan interviews, and he thought that HR recruitment was generally a radish and a pit, that is, each position corresponds to the corresponding ability requirements.

every time, Li Jian will split it according to this ability and find the corresponding proof, which is the so-called work.

For example, when HR recruits a new media operation, it needs writing skills. At this time, taking out your own contribution works can show that you are qualified for this job.

When a mother-in-law looks for a son-in-law, just like HR recruitment, she mainly considers whether her daughter will be happy with you.

There are two main points:

First, do you have the ability to provide a good material life for my daughter?

second, are you a reliable person?

Li Jian has made full preparations for these requirements.

Have dinner with a stranger every week to exercise communication skills.

In the past year, Li Jian ate and chatted with nearly 1 strangers, mainly to practice his communication skills.

how did he meet these people? He used available channels, offline activities, travel, friend introductions, etc.

In communication, he found that everyone is a book, which brought him into a different world, and these people are willing to have dinner with him again.

He feels that he still has practical experience in communication. Even if he meets his mother-in-law, he should be able to find a state of communication soon.

Besides, Li Jian rehearsed with his girlfriend twice before meeting her mother-in-law. His girlfriend asked him all kinds of tricky questions, and he answered them one by one.

print the insurance policy and deposit certificate.

Li Jian took an AFP exam in his spare time, and he has a certain understanding of financial management.

He bought a lot of insurance himself and also for his parents. His mother-in-law is worried that he is a rural family, which is nothing more than worrying about his parents' pension.

Besides, he also helped his parents build a house in the past two years. His parents also worked very hard, and there were more than 1, deposits at home, so there was no need to worry about providing for the aged.

He has also prepared deposit certificates for the past few years, and the down payment for a small house in Beijing is almost enough.

During the meeting, he talked about his family's situation. He expressed that his parents had medical insurance, so he took out these certificates. His mother-in-law picked them up and watched them for a few minutes, which was still shocking.

how to prove that you are a good person?

It's hard to prove this point. Li Jian thought of analogy. He gave two examples of friends, which I didn't think was appropriate, but my mother-in-law listened.

Li Jian has two close buddies with good family backgrounds. Both of them went abroad and left him thousands of dollars to help him take care of his girlfriend, that is, to help him send gifts during the holidays.

You see, all my friends trust me with their girlfriends, which proves that they trust me very much.

These friends are all very well-connected, which also reflects Li Jian's good network resources.

Then, Li Jian said, "Aunt, if you are willing to entrust your daughter to me, I will take good care of her."

He is going to buy a small house, make a down payment and write his girlfriend's name. He wants to tell his mother-in-law that he is sincere.

Now, he basically reports to his girlfriend's house once a week. Isn't there a saying that the mother-in-law likes her son-in-law more and more? Now, he has been fully recognized by his mother-in-law.

He also took the route of encircling the city from the countryside, and gave gifts to his girlfriend, seven aunts and eight aunts, which was not too expensive.

now it's cold and extremely dry, so I'll send fruit. People around him say that he is good, and his mother-in-law is naturally affected.

For himself, the biggest growth in this matter is the maturity of his mentality. If people mentioned Henan people and rural people before, he would have turned against him.

Now, he feels that blx is useless. It is better to solve the problem and eliminate prejudice, but it will take time.

Actually, Li Jian told me that he was not worried about not being able to handle his mother-in-law, because the decision on this matter is in her daughter's hands. As long as he handles his girlfriend, everything will come naturally.

The reason why he has to work so hard to gain his mother-in-law's approval is that he loves his girlfriend too much, and he doesn't want her to have trouble with her parents for him, and she doesn't want her to choose between her family and him. /f31fbe96b63f624951832ca8c44ebf81b4ca3b6? X-BCE-process = image/resize, m _ lfit, w _ 45, h _ 6, limit _ 1/quality, q _ 85

When it comes to girlfriends, Li Jian is very happy. Li Jian also shared two thoughts about love:

The best state of love is mutual worship.

Looking back on the changes in recent years, Li Jian said that the most correct choice was to find a girlfriend in his senior year.

Li Jian thinks his girlfriend is particularly intelligent, has her own opinions and persistence, and is kind and filial.

At many critical moments he chose in the past, his girlfriend gave him some advice, which made his development better and better.

Li Jian is very stable in his career choice. He graduated from history, and his imagination of work is a history teacher.

At the suggestion of his girlfriend, he entered an advertising company and accumulated experience. His girlfriend advised him to choose a fast-growing industry, so with his girlfriend's company, Li Jian's career developed rapidly.

I was frustrated in changing careers in Li Jian. My girlfriend has been studying in Hong Kong, and everyone has been encouraging him. After finishing studying, I returned to Beijing for him.

Similarly, in the eyes of his girlfriend, Li Jian is a man with a future.

He is very confident, likes learning and can bear hardships. He takes a certificate with high gold content every year, and systematically learns some knowledge in this way.

the best way to the ideal love is to train each other.

When they first began to fall in love, they often had conflicts and quarrels. Later, they taught each other and taught each other by example, and gradually they both became their best.

My girlfriend doesn't like reading. Li Jian bought a room full of books, and she often read books by herself. Later, her girlfriend also liked reading.

Li Jian is a straight man, and his girlfriend often accompanied him to buy clothes and taught him how to dress. Now Li Jian's clothes have also improved.

I think they can solve all kinds of problems and get the recognition of their families. There is a very important premise. Their feelings are really good and they trust each other.

In addition, this matter, whether it's an interview or getting the mother-in-law's approval, all routines are based on ability, and it may not be so easy to achieve if you change someone else.

When we look at a person, we don't look at what he said at all, but what he did, just like Li Jian went to his mother-in-law's house, bought two bottles of Maotai, and prepared many gifts according to his parents' preferences, which required money.

Li Jiancai graduated a few years ago, and his career has developed so well, which proves that he is very capable, and his family has clearly opposed it. He is not angry, and he can understand his parents' feelings of wanting to be good for his daughter.

The most powerful thing is that he can always let his girlfriend stand on his side and help solve problems together. Not everyone is determined to do this.

I have met many people, because their families are opposed to separation, and they complain about the injustice of fate and that others look down on themselves, but they never want to do something.

It's never a slap in the face to shout a few slogans, but a need for strength.

The same is true whether two people love each other. We don't look at many sweet words, but look at whether two people are willing to make efforts and take responsibility for being together.