The latest joke

1, when I got up in the morning, my husband turned over, and the quilt wrapped him up and rolled him up several times.

I looked at him who continued to sleep and felt very cute, like a sushi to be cut.

Then he wrapped this big one in the middle with a belt and went to work.

When I came back at 4 o'clock in the afternoon, I saw my husband still lying in bed. It was the shape of sushi to be cut in the morning, but he looked at me from different angles.

He said: Hungry for a day is not the key. It's not the key to turn off the air conditioner when you leave and heat him to death. Explaining that you didn't go to work the next day and didn't answer the phone is not the key.

The point is: the wardrobe is directly opposite the bed, and he feels embarrassed and funny when he looks at himself in the mirror. I didn't hold back when I laughed. . . .

2, the classmate MM chest is small. Often laughed at by us. Recently, she broke a very sad thing.

One morning around 6: 00? At 7 o'clock, her boyfriend woke up in a daze and began to touch her. After touching her twice, he suddenly turned her over (they slept face to face), made her turn her back to herself, began to touch her, touched her twice, and turned her over again. MM is furious, wake him up. He asked inexplicably, "What were you playing in the early morning, knocking people over?" His boyfriend was completely awake and said, "I just fell asleep." I touched it and thought I touched your back, so I turned you over and touched you. I found it was still your back, so I turned it over again ... "

On Sunday morning, when I was asleep, the short message rang and the bell vibrated. When I caught my eyes, my hand didn't have the strength to hold it tightly and my mobile phone slipped. "pa!" Pat it on the forehead. Continue to be confused, ignore it and let the phone stick to your forehead like a symbol. I fell asleep again, dreaming, and the phone attached to my forehead rang again, and the bell vibrated. Then, like being electrocuted, my whole body shook wildly, and my hands, feet, waist and chest were shaking. After shaking, I was completely refreshed! I think this is incredible. I saw my roommate Lao Bi still sleeping, so I got up and put my cell phone on his forehead. At first glance, it really looks like a zombie. Play fast and dial your own phone with his mobile phone. You will see that when the mobile phone vibrates, his whole person vibrates. . . You can try it sometime.

4. The geography teacher asked: Where does the river flow? A student suddenly stood up and sang: The river flows east! The teacher ignored him and then said, how many stars are there in the sky? Students sing again: all the stars in the sky can participate in Beidou! The teacher is short of breath: get out! Student: Just leave! The teacher is helpless: Are you sick? Student: You have it, I have it all! Teacher: Try singing one more sentence! Student: yell for life when you see an uneven road! Teacher: Do you believe I'm playing you? Student: Do it when you should! The teacher was angry: I told you to drop out of school! Student: Wind, wind, fire, Jiuzhou!