Someone teach me a short joke that makes people laugh immediately!

A psychotic lady withdrew money from the bank (you are awesome if you laugh to death)

One afternoon, my friend was working very boringly at China Construction Bank, and there was a woman (a psychopath) who was wearing very badly. Went to his window and gave him a note asking to withdraw money. The note clearly said "Comrade XX is hereby sent to withdraw RMB from your bank". Then there were N zero yuan after the l. The signature is ***C.P Central Office***.

My classmate originally wanted to call the police, but seeing that the mentally ill woman was very serious, she thought about it and sent it to the security guard (~I guess the security guard is also very idle).

Sure enough, , the security guard said to the woman: "If you want to withdraw money from this note, you must first go to the police station opposite and ask the station chief to stamp it. After he stamps the stamp, you can come back to withdraw money and it will be fine."

The woman walked directly to the police station without thinking. (This security guard is really extraordinary. I usually underestimate him.).

About ten minutes, when more and more customers were queuing up, the woman came back happily, holding up the note. Said: "People said that the office procedures have been simplified, and you can withdraw money directly without the director's approval."

As soon as I heard this, my classmate couldn't help but sigh that there are so many people in the pol.ice team. The master was sent back with just a "high profile".

My classmate and the security guard were a little stupid at the time. There were many people in the business hall. They were afraid that her mental illness would affect the normal order, so they had to call the supervisor on duty.

The supervisor chatted with the female patient for a while and asked what you were using the money for. The female patient said: "Withdraw money to buy bread, cakes, food, and clothes." The supervisor pointed. Not far away, the woman left happily again.

The security guard went to ask for advice, and the supervisor said to the female patient at the time: "We are a China Construction Bank, and you can only withdraw money here if you build a house. If you withdraw money to buy food, it must be grain." I have to go to the Agricultural Bank of China to buy clothes and other things, and to withdraw money, I have to go to the Industrial and Commercial Bank of China! "

My classmate admires me from the bottom of his heart, he is a supervisor after all!!!!

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After a while, the lady came back again and brought the answer from ICBC: "The people from Agricultural Bank of China said , this is the Agricultural Bank of China, and only farmers can withdraw money. I am from an urban area. People from the ICBC said that ours is a public bank, and only males can withdraw money, not females!!!!, they said I am a bitch, I want to Withdraw money from China Construction Bank"

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Humorous jokes

1. The old leader lamented, how happy you are, there are young ladies everywhere. When I was on a business trip, not only were there no young ladies, but when I came back, the whole family of seven would be crowded together. If you want to get intimate, you have to sprinkle some candy outside the door, and then shout: "Children, I will hold your mother down and grab the candy!!!"

2. The Earthworm family is very boring today. The little earthworm cut himself into two pieces to play badminton; the mother earthworm thought this method was good, so she cut herself into four pieces to play mahjong; the father earthworm thought about it and cut himself into minced meat. The mother earthworm cried and said: "Why are you so stupid? If you cut it into pieces like this, you will die!" The father earthworm said weakly: "...Suddenly I want to play football."

4. The tortoise and the hare... The rabbit quickly ran forward... The turtle saw a snail crawling very slowly... and said to him: Come up, I will carry you... Then... the snail came up... After a while ...The turtle saw another ant...and said to him: Come up too...so the ant also came up. After the ant came up... when he saw the snail on it... he said to him: Hello! Do you know what the snail said? The snail said: Hurry up, this turtle is so fast...

5. A man and a woman were having dinner, and the girl kept asking the boy: Do you love me? The boy glanced at the girl and continued eating dinner.

The girl was very angry and asked again: Do you love me? The boy finally said: Love! The girl asked again: How do you prove it? Suddenly the boy took thirty yuan out of his pocket and asked the girl: Do you have ten yuan? The girl took ten yuan and gave it to the boy... The boy put forty yuan on the table. After a while... The girl asked the boy angrily: Do you want to prove that you love me? The boy said: I have proved it! Forty is right in front of you!

6. Late one night, when a young woman was passing by a mental hospital, suddenly a "wow" sound came from behind. The woman turned around and saw a naked man chasing her. The woman was so frightened that she ran away, followed by the man behind her. No, there is a dead end ahead. The woman is desperate. She knelt on the ground and cried and begged: "You can do whatever you want. I just ask you not to kill me." The man smiled slyly and said, "Really? Now you Start chasing me."

7. A man went to the river to fish. He first pierced a leaf. No fish caught the bait for a long time. He changed it to a piece of bread. Again, no fish caught the bait for a long time. He had no choice but to go. Changed to earthworms~ Still no fish took the bait for a long time~~ In anger, he took out a hundred-yuan ticket and threw it into the water and cursed: "Damn it, what do you want to eat! Buy it yourself!"

8. "I I can’t see things that are too far away,” the patient told the ophthalmologist. "Please come with me," the doctor took the patient outside, pointed at the sun in the sky, and asked, "What do you think that is?" "The sun," the patient replied. "Then how far do you want to see!"

9. A man met God one day, and God suddenly became kind and planned to give that man a wish... God asked, do you have any wish? The man thought for a while and said, "I heard that cats have nine lives, so please give me nine lives." God said: OK, your wish comes true. One day, the man was idle and bored. He said that he wanted to die, since he had 9 lives anyway, so he just lay on the railroad tracks... Then a train drove past... The man still died. Why was this? -----Because there are 10 carriages in that train.

10. Today, my little cousin Youyou chased and played with his classmates in the classroom during recess time... Later, while playing... suddenly his classmates secretly stole his bird as a prank... He I felt very angry... and felt that the feeling of being touched was very humiliating... So I went to my teacher (female) crying... "Teacher XXX, touch my little bird." My cousin was angry and wanted to cry at this time... " And he touched it very hard." At this time, the class teacher came to XXX and wanted to reprimand him face to face... "Did Teacher XXX ever teach you not to touch other people's things casually..." The teacher said in a very stern tone... "Not next time. Do you know if you can keep doing this?" "You need to get permission from others before you touch them." Originally, my little cousin was secretly glad... Unexpectedly, this senior teacher turned around and said that he didn't say he was very nice." Also, You" "Didn't you take what the teacher said to heart before?" "Didn't the teacher say you can't bring animals or pets to school?" "Who told you to bring a bird to school?" "Hand the bird over after school. The teacher will return it to you later. "--------Life is actually very monotonous. Let's smile more when we have time. I wish friends who read the post, whether they reply or not, have a happy life!!!