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Tricks to find something to say when you have nothing to say
The best way to talk with people you just met or to talk about people you don’t know is to try talking from one topic to another. If a certain topic doesn’t work, try again. Try the next one. Or when it's your turn to speak, you can tell us about something you've done or thought about, whether it's gardening, planning a trip, or something else we've already talked about. Don’t panic about a moment of silence, just let it pass. Conversation is not a race, it is like running to the finish line. ?
When you find a stranger sitting next to you at a party, introduce yourself before you start fishing. And then there are all kinds of ways to start. If you are a shy person, think about it in your head before going to the party. If the hostess has told you something about him, you can say: "I know your team won the final last week. It must have been great." If you don't know anything about him, say: " Do you live in Homeville or are you a tourist?" From his answer you can expect to start the conversation. He may ask you where you live, what you do for a living, etc. Very simple, but be careful to give him a chance to speak. ?
Another great opening line (and one that’s immediately impactful) is to ask for suggestions. For example, you might ask an avid gardener: "I would like to replace the annuals in my garden with perennials. What would you recommend?" Or for a person working from home or in the office, you might ask: "I would like to replace the annuals with perennials." Buy a fax machine. Do you have any recommendations? "If there's no response, ask him what he thinks. It's safe to ask him or her for his or her opinion on anything: politics, sports, the stock market, fashion, local news, anything, but not a topic that has already been asked and the response is vehemently objectionable or controversial. ?
Another topic that provides a good starting point at the dinner table is food or wine: "Did it taste good? I don't have time in the kitchen to really make a good meal. Do you cook it yourself?" Don't avoid topics. In an election year, "What do you think of the vice-presidential candidates?" is an effortless conversation starter, as long as you remember that your response to the answer isn't sarcasm or vehement opposition. ?
★Negotiation tips?
Negotiation is not only widely used in business but also penetrates into all aspects of people's lives. Trade cooperation between countries requires negotiation, and "bargaining" in daily life is also negotiation. It can be said that as long as there are interactions between people, there will be negotiations. Negotiation skills are critical to successful negotiations. Some people say that the basis of negotiation is strength. Strength is important, but negotiation with strength may not necessarily succeed; without strength, negotiation may not necessarily fail. This is the role of negotiation skills. ?
Know yourself and the enemy. Only on the basis of this preparation can we choose specific and effective negotiation methods to counterattack our opponents and make ourselves invincible. To truly understand your opponent, you must clearly understand your opponent's needs, so that you can use effective means and methods at the negotiation table, which can save energy and hit the target with one hit. Therefore, before negotiating, it is important to obtain information about the opponent and determine the corresponding negotiation method. ?
Use both hardness and softness. Tough way. At the beginning of the negotiation, state your harsh conditions in full, and suppress your opponent's momentum to make them submit. This method is suitable for negotiating with weak opponents and forcing them to make concessions. If your opponent wants to confront you head-on, you might as well use "I want to talk to your boss personally", "I won't do this business", etc. ?
It’s hard to make mistakes. When the advantage is not yours, hold on to the belief that time is more important to your opponent than to you. No matter how arrogant the opponent is, he should remain unchanged in the face of all changes. Stay calm and let your opponent do their best. Dodge your opponent's edge and attack when he is exhausted. Use the method of mouse versus cat to wear down your opponent. ?
Find out the other party’s mistakes. From the beginning of preparing for the negotiation, devote important energy to discovering the opponent's mistakes and exaggerating as much as possible the harm that such mistakes will cause to you or will cause you. Claim at any time "I want to sue you" or "I want to expose you in the media". Create panic for the opponent and take advantage of the opponent's panic to defeat the opponent. ?
Win-win (WIN & WIN) negotiation results are the best results.
Set a bottom line before negotiating, and set a bottom line that leaves room for the opponent. In the negotiation results, the other party should also be able to gain benefits. ?
★Compliment Tips (COMPLIMENTS)?
We all like compliments from others and are grateful for them. So I often wonder why so few people do this. I think sometimes it's because most people are naturally more private, and some people are shy or embarrassed. Others, meanwhile, simply don't pay attention or never think about how happy a few compliments can make someone else's day. But if you're someone who has a hard time saying superlatives, you don't have to hesitate to say "compliments that have gone out of style." "I met with Ann Tannen yesterday and she said to me you run an amazing fund raising arm, PTA. What's the hardest thing to do in this process? To start a conversation, find ways to get it started instead of So that the other person can only answer "Thank you", "Yes" or "No"?
Make sure your compliment is sincere. Archbishop Fulton Sheen once pointed out that "Compliments are thinly sliced ??sausages." It tasted delicious; but the sausage was so thickly cut that it was difficult to digest. "?
★How to start a conversation?
Conversing with strangers is one of the most important steps in interpersonal communication. If you handle this step well, you can make many interesting friends. Failure to do so can lead to embarrassment and loss of opportunities?
How to find common ground when talking to strangers?
Pay attention?
You can tell a person's mood, mental state and living habits from his clothing, behavior, and conversation. Before starting a conversation, first look at what the other person has in common with you. For example, he is the same as you. Wearing a pair of Nike air-cushion sneakers, you can start your conversation with the topic of Nike shoes?
Test with words?
Two strangers are relatively speechless in order to break the silence. In this situation, you need to speak first. You can talk to yourself, for example, "It's too hot." When the other party hears this sentence, he may take the initiative to answer and continue the conversation?
That's okay. Start with an action and help the other person do something casually, such as pushing down the suitcase. You can also discover the characteristics of the other person's accent and open up a communicative situation. For example, you can hear the other person's Shanghai accent and say: "Are you from Shanghai?" ". This topic can be started.?
After starting a conversation, the next step is how to continue the conversation. In formal occasions or when talking with Westerners, there are the following taboos: Do not talk about salary, bank deposits, etc. Regarding the issue of money. In Western countries, salaries are kept confidential. In addition, some Westerners, especially those with higher quality, do not like others to be interested in them because of money. As Chinese society becomes more and more commercialized. . Wages are no longer the same as in the past. Everyone's salary level is the same. You can infer how much others earn from your own salary. So you ask, "How much do you earn?" "It's very rude."
Don't ask questions like "Are you married?" " or "How old is the child? "?
The custom of men marrying women and men marrying women is changing in contemporary society. Some people choose to be single, and some families are composed of homosexuals. In addition, there are many single-parent families. Personal marriage life and sexuality Life is often considered extremely private. Private topics can cause a conversation to fail ?
★The look in your eyes when you are talking?
Never more so than when you are talking to him and he is not. Looking around is even more embarrassing. Some people look around while talking; others look around while listening. Both types of people lack the basic responsibility of being a good and attentive listener. When speaking to anyone, look at him or her, not hard, but always so that your interlocutor understands that you are not distracting the other person. Never look around the room while you are speaking, and even if you are listening, don't appear bored and interested in what is going on around you. If your audience does, you can stop and stare with them. You were curious about the strange things he discovered.
If he asks you what you're doing, you can say, "Oh, I'm interested in what you're looking at." Then continue the conversation and he'll get the hint. ?
★The Great Dictator in Conversation?
There are such things and people all around us, and I hope we are not one of them. ?
It is a good idea to pay attention to what you are saying. For example, pay attention to whether you are a domineering person, whether you are a dictatorial person, whether you are a stubborn person, whether you are a People who don’t give others a chance to express different opinions. Or notice if someone is trying to move away while you are speaking, or seems to be looking around desperately for the nearest way out. ?
One of the definitions of a nasty person is "a person who tells nothing but himself when you want to tell him something about himself." Another description of a nasty person is more accurately described as: a person who insists on telling you things People who don't want to hear anything at all. He or she insists that you listen to the end, despite your obvious impatience. ?
These are part of your personality and so ingrained that it is impossible to change them. If you find yourself having authoritarian traits in your conversations, just keep your mouth shut the next time you talk and listen, no matter what you have to say. If you are afraid that you will be annoying, try to read newspapers or magazines and find a topic of interest to study, such as environmental protection, etc. Everyone must be concerned about it. Your rich knowledge will not only make you join the conversation, but also pass on Interesting information. ?
If someone repeats a story you've heard at least twice, it's okay to say, "Oh yeah, I remember how you made everyone It's all behind. You must have saved his life." Then change the subject. If you are part of a conversation and someone is repeating a story, you can quietly leave, or if someone notices, you can say, "Oh, I know about that. I'm sorry, I'll be back in a minute." and leave. ?
★How to answer personal questions? ?
If you are asked about the price of new clothes, unless you are a very close person, you are actually not obliged to provide him with relevant information. Just answer "I don't know (or I can't remember) how much it cost." Inquiries about money are generally inappropriate and should be ignored. You can't say, "None of your business." But you can say, "If you don't mind, I won't talk about it. It's so emotionally draining about the cost of living..." and then change the subject. ?
Another question similar to snooping is "What do you do?" It's best to ask about the person's job after they've identified an area of ??knowledge, or when the conversation is about a specific work-related topic. Then you can ask: "Are you working in this field?". ?
★When to shut your mouth?
Don’t regret not speaking out. "It's better to keep your mouth shut and let others think you're a fool than to open your mouth and say everything." Don't pretend to know everything. Truly smart people never hesitate to say "I don't know." ?
People who speak casually tend to talk too much, sometimes resulting in imprudence. People with rich imaginations are always unreliable in their speech. On the other hand, a person who is always silent often dresses well among close people, but he or she does not add attraction to the party. In conversation, the middle path is always best, as with so many things. You need to know when to listen to others and when to speak yourself. ?
Don’t repeat yourself, whether that’s telling the same story over and over again or telling details that sound interesting. Many things are interesting simply told or told for the first time, but nothing is worth retelling. ?
★Think before you speak (THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK)?
Almost all mistakes or errors in conversations are caused by a lack of serious consideration or lack of consideration. For example, if a computer programmer goes to dinner with a literature professor and the computer programmer only talks about technical programming languages ??and nothing else, then this will be a very ill-considered conversation. Because, even at work, not everyone wants to hear a lengthy lecture on any topic.
?
In most cases no one reminds us that we speak without consideration or consideration. As long as we pay attention to what we say and the other person's reaction, we can discover our shortcomings. It is our business to think before we speak. Dorothy Sarnoff said: "I" is the smallest of the letters. Don't use it as the biggest word in your conversation. For example, instead of saying I think when talking to people, say what do you think? ".?
★How to avoid conversation (HOW NOT TO CONVERSE)?
In the face of the flatterer (THE BRAGGER)?
Excellent conversationalists will not Endless compliments about how good a job someone else is doing or how great his son is, when the conversation devolves into flattery, politely add your own comments and try to change the subject if he tells you a lurid story about himself. The best way is to find a reason to leave as soon as possible, unless you are very interested in what he is saying? ?
CEST LA VIE!?
Borrow idioms from other languages ??to embellish the conversation. Contrived meaning, unless you often speak this language, or the word you want to say has no absolute equivalent or translation in Chinese, or the idiom has been widely used and circulated?
If other. When someone says a word or idiom that is obviously a foreign word, try not to pay attention to it unless you are very interested, don't know what it means and want to stop and ask: "What does it mean?" ".?
"How old are you? "(HOW OLD ARE YOU?)?
Many people don't like to be asked their age, and it's a thoughtless question. However, this question is often asked, and there are many ways to avoid it .You can say: "Oh! Big enough. "You can also tell him an approximate age, for example, over twenty-one, or use a number you like, "twenty-nine (or thirty-nine, forty-nine, etc.) and keeping. " If someone insists on asking, "Oh, tell me. "Tell him, "Obviously, I don't want to tell you, do you need to know? "?
Faced with insults (INSULTS)?
What should you say if someone slanders a group, individual or country in front of you? Tell him sincerely that his The comments are offensive, don't want to hear them anymore, and then walk away. Or you can say, "We won't talk about it anymore." "Then move on to another topic. Every time you join in a conversation that makes a moral, racial or other denigration of an individual, whether those comments are genuine denigration or a joke, you are practicing your tolerance.?
★At The secret of gift-giving in China?
1. Gifts are more important than friendship.
When giving gifts, you should consider the specific situation and occasion. Generally, when going to a private family dinner, you should bring some small gifts for the hostess. , such as bouquets, fruits, souvenirs, etc. If you have children, you can give toys and candies. If you are invited to a wedding, in addition to artistic decorations, you can also give bouquets and practical items. During New Year and Christmas, you can usually give calendars and wine. , tea, candies, cigarettes, etc.?
2. Grasp the timing and method of giving gifts?
Gifts should generally be given in person, but sometimes they can be given in advance. To celebrate festivals or give annual gifts, you can send them to your door or mail them. At this time, you should attach the gift giver's business card to the gift. You can also handwrite the congratulatory message and put it in an envelope of similar size. The name of the recipient should be written on the envelope and affixed to it. On the top of the gift wrapper?
Normally, it is not appropriate to give a gift to only one person in a group of people, because the recipient will feel bribed and fooled, and it will make the recipient feel bribed. People who do not receive gifts will feel left out and looked down upon. It is not advisable to give gifts to people with whom you are close in order to avoid leaving the public with the impression that your close relationship is only supported by material things. Special gifts that express special emotions are suitable for giving in public, because at this time the public has become a witness to your sincere friendship. ?
3. Be friendly. , Don’t miss your words?
When giving gifts, you should pay attention to attitude, actions and language expression.
Peaceful, friendly, graceful movements and polite language expressions are what the recipient is happy to accept. The thief-like practice of quietly placing gifts under the table or in a corner of the room not only fails to achieve the purpose of gifting, but may even be counterproductive. It is a common custom in our country that when giving a gift, you will always say overly modestly: "A small gift! A small gift!" "It's just a little meaning" or "I'm very sorry..." This approach is best avoided. Of course, it is not appropriate to say in an almost proud tone when giving a gift: "This is a very valuable thing!" When introducing the gift, you should emphasize your goodwill and affection for the recipient, rather than the actual value of the gift. Otherwise, you will fall into the situation of emphasizing gifts and undervaluing justice, or even It will make the other party feel like they are accepting a bribe. ?
4. Taking into account customs and etiquette?
Giving gifts according to people, situations and places is one of the norms of social etiquette. The choice of gifts should also comply with this norm. The selection of gifts should be based on different recipients. Generally speaking, for the poor, affordable is better; for the rich, exquisite is better; for lovers, lovers, lovers, commemorative is better; for friends, interesting is better; for the elderly, practical It is better; for children, it is better to enlighten and novel; for foreign guests, it is better to be unique. ?
When giving gifts, you must master the principle of avoiding taboos: ?
For example, there is a common saying in China that "good things come in pairs", so any gift that is celebrated on a grand occasion must be given as a gift. , both prefer double and avoid single, but Cantonese people are taboo: 4" is an even number, because in Cantonese, "4" sounds like "death", which is unlucky. No matter how good it is, white has the symbol of purity and flawlessness. However, it is taboo among Chinese people, because in China, white is often the color of great sorrow and poverty. Similarly, black is also regarded as the color of misfortune and disaster, while red is the color of joy. It is a symbol of peace and joy and is widely loved by people. In addition, Chinese people often pay attention to not giving clocks to the elderly, and not giving pears to couples or lovers. "Li" is a homophonic word, which is unlucky. Also, you cannot give medicines to healthy people, personal items to friends of the opposite sex, etc. ?
★What are the rules for using business cards?
Business cards have a wide range of uses. The most important thing is to introduce yourself. They can also be used to send flowers or gifts, as well as to send letters of introduction, letters of thanks, invitations, condolences, etc. You can also leave a short postscript on the business card. . ?
When Westerners use business cards, they usually write the first letters of several French words, which represent the following different meanings: ?
1. P.P., (pour presentation): It means introduction. It is usually used to introduce a friend to another friend. When you receive a business card with "P.P." written in the lower left corner and a stranger's business card, you are introduced to a new person. Friends, you should send a business card or call your new friend immediately. ?
2. P.f., (pour felicitation): used for holidays or other fixed anniversaries. >
3. P.c., (pour condoleance): means to express condolences when an important person passes away?
4. P.r., (pour remerciement): means to express gratitude. It is an expression of gratitude after receiving a gift, a letter of congratulation or a treat. f. "or"p. c."Reply to business card.?
5. P.P.c., (pour prendre conge): means farewell. Used when breaking up.?
6. P.f.n.a., (pour feliciter lenouvel an): means congratulations on the new year. ?
7. N.b., (nota bene): means please pay attention to the postscript on the business card.
?
According to Western social etiquette, when delivering business cards, it should be noted that when a man visits a family, if he wants to give business cards, he should give one to the male host and one to the hostess, and then to more than 18 people in the family. One business card for a 20-year-old woman, but never leave more than three business cards in the same place. ?
If a woman goes to someone else's home as a guest and wants to give a business card, she should give one to each woman over 18 years old in the family, but she should not give a business card to a man. ?
If the visitor has not made an appointment in advance and does not want to be interviewed, but just wants to show respect, you can hand the business card to anyone who opens the door and ask him to pass it to the host. If the host opens the door himself and invites him in, he should only sit there for a while. The business card should be placed on the table and should not be handed directly into the hostess's hand. ?
★Gifts that men should not give women?
Lipstick: Some things, such as the password on the passbook, can never be understood by outsiders, and the same goes for lipstick. Because a suitable lipstick should not only be suitable in color, but more importantly, it should blend well with the lips. That kind of harmonious feeling must be experienced personally. Men can always only be spectators in this regard. ?
Standard clothes displayed in the window: Maybe you want to surprise her, but unfortunately not everyone has a model-like figure. When she picks up a broken button from the floor, or looks at her waist that can hold a fist, the expression on her face is definitely not what you expect. ?
Objects that are closely related to his ex-girlfriend: When men buy gifts, they often unconsciously choose styles, colors and items that their ex-girlfriend likes. Even a woman who cares least about your past may feel a sense of "replacement" sadness in her heart when she receives such a gift. ?
Female products: In this private land of women, a man’s rash intrusion will only be a thankless task. Even if you are very considerate, as the saying goes, "A man who knows a woman too well is probably a prodigal in love", which will make her disgusted and suspicious.
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