Laughing and crying! There's a 38-degree man on the bed. Why don't you take a look?

Guide: Four swordsmen compete with each other in fencing. The first swordsman splits a fly in half, the second in four and a half, and the third in eight and a half. People think that the outcome has been won. The fourth swordsman stands out, throws a knife, but the fly flies away. Everyone laughs. This is what the swordsman said: Look carefully, he can't.

1. In the first year of high school, a buddy loved singing, especially singing against the wall. One day, the neighbor couldn't help it and ran over and shouted. Who is singing! That buddy went on: It's warm and lonely, and white clouds are fluttering in Qian Shan ...

2. I went to the streets with my second-rate boyfriend and came back by bus. He studied Chinese at university and has strong language organization skills, so I can't say anything. I was unconvinced and wanted to fool him on the bus. He sat with me and hugged me. I suddenly shouted, "indecent assault." The whole car was quiet for a moment, and everyone looked at him. I thought I'd see what he did this time. I didn't expect him to say, "What? Didn't you just give money? It was agreed that 3 yuan a day. Why do you want it again? " I was speechless in an instant ...

3. When I was young, boys liked toys and girls liked dolls. Now grown up, boys like dolls and girls like toys. I actually understand this ...

4. My husband is lying in bed with a fever, and my wife is reading a magazine ... Husband: What are you reading, wife? Wife: The husband of a 37-degree woman cried and said: There is a 38-degree man in bed. Why don't you take a look?

5. My daughter was bitten by a big bag on her face. It took me a long time to make the bag disappear. As a result, she cried and said that I should pay her a bag.

6. Talking to friends about the unreliability of online shopping, a little girl tearfully said that she bought a bunch of things on the website of a brand-name underwear store last Christmas, and after a long time, she received a lot of baggage, missing a thong but adding a hairband. The girl didn't think it was a loss, so she took it shopping the next day. As a result, she strolled to the door of the store and saw that the window was blue and the model was wearing it. The next board said "C string" < P > 7. My mother was more than 1.7 meters, and the landlord talked about a girlfriend who was less than 1.6 meters. Today, when I was eating, I remembered the problem that my mother and girlfriend fell into the water, which made countless male compatriots have a headache. I said it to my mother. Who knows that mom said faintly after listening, the water depth is more than 1 meter 6? Save your girlfriend under 1.6 meters, her head will die quickly!

8. Wife: "Dear, do you want to live a life for others?" Husband: "Dear, I don't want to!" Wife: "Why mud?" Husband: "Can you let me live that life?" Wife: "Why don't I let you pass?" Husband: "Well, I'll live my life tonight. I want to be above you, okay?" Wife: "..."

9. Why should we study geography? The answer is simple: because there is no justice! Why should we study history? Because we have no future!

1. Buddy: I want a bottle of coke. How much is it? Flight attendant: 7 yuan ... Dude: How big is it? Flight attendant: 3 yuan is sold outside ... < P > 11. I remember when I was a child, I was about eleven or twelve years old. At that time, it was in the country. We three sisters and a boy a little older than us (now the children are four or five years old) cooked sweet potatoes in the wild. After they were cooked, we started to grab them. We couldn't win the man every time. Only the burnt ones were our turn to eat. At that time, it was wild. Put the man on the ground, three times five divided by two stripped off his pants, grabbed a handful of mud and rubbed it at his place, and then fled. From then on, three female men were born.

12. A: My husband and I have a rule that quarrels must be made up before going to bed ... B: Can that be done? A: Yes, once we didn't sleep for two days ... < P > 13. Eating at my girlfriend's house, there was a wretched man on TV. His girlfriend: It's just like your father! I went back to the past: like your dad … I will never forget her dad's eyes.

14. My daughter went to grandma's house, and grandma cooked fish ... My daughter said while eating: It's delicious, it would be better without thorns ...

15. Son: Ma Ma, where did I come from? Ma Ma thinks it's time to tell her son about childbirth ... My son is at a loss: My deskmate said he came from Hunan ... < P > 16. Before graduation, I asked a fortune teller in my village to calculate my life. Up to now, I still feel quite accurate, saying that I will take the civil service exam after graduation, eat public meals for about three years, and then learn to drive. At the age of 3, I will live in a house surrounded by flowers. At the age of 32, I will have a lot of pens in and out, and there will be changes in my marriage ... I just graduated and failed to take the civil service exam. I was sentenced to two and a half years for an accident a few days later. After I came out, I learned to drive and started my own business to grow flowers. A few years ago, I earned a million dollars. I am 32 years old, which is still the same as the accumulation of money in previous years when I misjudged the market. The fortune teller said that there were in and out, and now there are only out, and my wife ran away.

17. Dad: Son, you won't go to school today. Yesterday, your mother gave birth to two little sisters. I'll ask the teacher for a leave ... Son: Baba, just say to have one child, and save the other one for next week when he doesn't want to go to school ... < P > 18. My girlfriend asked the boy, "Why are you so fat?" Fat man: "Don't forget, when the unit sends out watermelons, when you don't pick big and round ones."

19. Daughter: Why do you call Mr. Jiang an ancestor? Ma Ma: It's a name for someone who passed away. Daughter: Is the grandmother who passed away called fresh milk?

2. Ma Ma asks her daughter to get up: The rooster has crowed several times, so why doesn't she get up ... Daughter: What do I care if the rooster crows? I'm not a hen ...

21. The classroom is near the toilet. I'm ashamed to see anyone. I took a self-study class and ran out to pay the water bill. I just took it out. A diaosi came in and deliberately peed loudly. Naturally, I couldn't lose to him. Then each one peed louder than the other. When I returned to the classroom, it was horribly quiet. Suddenly, a sentence floated out of the corner: Are you urinating in lama? The horse ... peed ... and then the whole class laughed ...

22. Xiao Wang: I just went back with a fart in the elevator. So many people, how dare you ... I burped before I finished this product ...

23. The Internet cafe was playing games, and the money was almost spent. I was just about to leave, and I saw 1 yuan's money on the ground ... I handed it over to the webmaster, who ordered it for me with satisfaction.

24. Wife: Honey, what's the matter? Husband: I can't sleep ... Wife: I must be under too much pressure. I just need to sleep ... Husband: ...

25. One day, the goddess received a bunch of roses from her boyfriend, but she paid for it ... The goddess broke up in a rage ... It seems that it's a good idea for me to pretend to be her boyfriend ...

26. A rich second generation drove a Phaeton to pick up girls. ! !

27. Painter: Is this the first time you have taken off your clothes in front of a man? Female model: No, but it's the first time a man hasn't taken it off!

28. Just now, I asked my mother for money. My mother said: No, wait until your father comes back from playing mahjong and ask your father for it. Just after I finished, I saw my dad coming back. I felt sorry for my dad. As soon as I cried out, my mother came to say: Your daughter asked you for money ~ Then I saw that my dad had just reached into the door and retracted his foot. I've shrunk out ~

29. When I'm on a business trip, I always leave new money in my wallet for a rainy day. To put it bluntly, I just can't bear to use it. Today, I'm going to withdraw money, and all the new money is serial. Ok, I'll take it again, and then I'll take it. Ok, I still have no money to use!

3. Xiao Wang: A painter painted my daughter a year ago, but now I haven't finished painting her ... Xiao Zhang: That's nothing. A painter painted my wife 1 years ago ... Xiao Wang: What's the matter? Xiao Zhang: I didn't see the portrait, not even my wife ...

Editor's note: I am a middle school teacher. One day after I finished my novel, I looked up the students' notes. I saw a student's notes write like this: "1 What should I pay attention to when writing a novel? (I said we should pay attention to three elements. ) The student's answer: not too embarrassing. " Those sentences that you fell in love with at first sight

Many times we go too far and forget why we started.

We all live in the gutter, but some people still look up at the stars.

I feel sad, not because you cheated me, but because I can't trust you anymore.

I can interpret your sentence that I don't like you that much as I like you a little.

Your temperament hides the roads you have traveled, the books you have read and the people you have loved.

Some roads, you have to walk alone. It's not loneliness, but choice.

There are flowers in spring, a moon in autumn, a cool breeze in summer and a rotine in winter. It's a good time on earth.

When you were young, you made a decision to dedicate your life to love. Later, you didn't die, but your youth saved your life.

If I can see you after a long year , how can I great ? With silence, with tears. If I meet you again after a long time, how will I greet you? With silence, with tears.

If you are weak, you can't live well, and if you are strong, you can't die well.

Behind some smiles is the soul with clenched teeth.

There is only one success in this world, that is, you can spend your life in the way you like.

Heart, if you don't have a place to live, you will wander everywhere.

If you are unhappy, bully me. Anyway, I like you so much.

A woman without ambition is not beautiful.

Try to be the best self.

Don't wait until you lose it to regret it. Many things will not be repeated.

Everyone has a hard time. But most of the time, those hard years will eventually become the best days of your life, if you survive.

not taking advantage is education, and human communication is cultivation. Talk about falling in love with you at first sight.

It's neither too early nor too late when it's good. Some people fall in love with just that person at first sight, and that's the best time. Maybe people who live in the world are just waiting for a chance meeting, and when the time is right, you will meet.

About falling in love with you at first sight

First, falling in love with you at first sight, beautiful Ussuri. The river is clear and charming, like a beautiful girl walking leisurely. Spring is coming, waterfowl are crying, misty rain is like a veil, and your beauty is more mysterious.

second, everything will have signs, but there is no sign of falling in love with you at first sight. I can't guard against this beauty at all. It broke all my defenses about reason, and washed away all my thoughts like a scourge. From then on, my girl is in love with spring and my daughter's mind is like you.

third, this sentence is really good. If I do it again, I will still fall in love with you at first sight.

fourth, I fell in love with you at first sight, and I fell in love with you, and the eye contact was so wonderful.

5. The best time in life is neither early nor late. Some people can't love you all your life, and some people fall in love with you at first sight, which is the best time and the most opportune time.

6. Loving you is the best thing I have ever done. There are only two kinds of romantic feelings in the world: one is to love each other and the other is to forget each other. What we have to do is to try to stay with the people we love the most and forget the people we love the second time. The best time in life is neither early nor late. Some people will not love you all their lives. You fall in love with someone at a glance, and that person also falls in love with you. That is the best time and the most opportune time.

7. I like being around you. I can't imagine what it would be like without you. I like touching your face. I like everything about you, and I fell in love with you unconsciously. I am glad to meet you at my present age, neither too early nor too late, and I only fell in love at first sight.

8. The best time in life is neither early nor late. Some people can't love you all your life, and some people fall in love with you at first sight. It happens that that person also falls in love with you. That is the best time and the most opportune time. It happened that I met you by coincidence, but it was not the best. Sorry

9. I went to the flower shop after work and fell in love with you at first sight, taking you home to comfort myself!

ten, after listening to my friend and her boyfriend, I suddenly feel that you are such a good man. I can't have you in this life, I will find you in the next life and fall in love with you at first sight.

eleven or 2xx years, I have gained a lot, and I have gained such a good you. From knowing you, paying attention to you, and loving you very much, it took a long time to fall in love with you at first sight without affectation. I just firmly believe that sentence begins with face value, falls into talent, and finally ends with character. Seeing you smile, it seems that the whole world is lit up, and you are the sunshine. My deer, I hope you will be more brave, persistent, loving, handsome and outstanding in the new year. Strangers are like jade, and childe is unparalleled in the world. I will stick to this humble love.

the person who fell in love at first sight, don't meet again after parting. I'm afraid, afraid to fall in love with you again, and fall in love with you as resolutely as before.

thirteen, I fell in love with you at first sight, not because of your beauty, but because of the charm behind it.

14. Some people are too poor to love for life, while some people fall in love with you at first sight, and it happens that she also falls in love with you. This is the best time.

15. After 1, points of injury, I need Qi Sheng to comfort me! I fell in love with all your origins at first sight, as if I had returned to a year ago. If I first saw my life, everything would be fine! Good night for me and good morning for you.

16. Let's count by fingers. Tonight is a once-in-a-lifetime crossing time! Are you ready? Charge some daily high-tech and stay with you! Remember to dress beautifully, preferably bright and moving! Let the male 1234567 fall in love with you at first sight! Wandering the rivers and lakes from now on! Remember, the worse the front, the more brilliant the back! Ok, I don't have to say much. I'm going to recite 3 poems of the Tang Dynasty.

XVII. Whether it's love at first sight or seeing the color, it's because I fell in love with you at first sight.

XVII. My memory will be lost and my head will be broken, but the feeling of liking someone will not change. If I meet you again, I will still fall in love with you at first sight.

XIX. We will go further and further together. I'm glad to meet you and I fell in love with you at first sight.

twenty, there are some people you can't love all your life, including Shenzhen wedding photography studio.