Looking for cold jokes

A man was starving to death in the desert when he picked up the magic lamp.

Magic Lamp: "I can only grant you one wish, tell me quickly, I'm in a hurry."

Man: "I want a wife..."

The magic lamp immediately turned out to be a beautiful woman, and then said disdainfully: "You are almost starving to death and you are still greedy for beauty! How sad!" After that, she disappeared.

Person: "...cake.

Wang Xiaoya, the host of Happy Dictionary, interviewed an audience member live and asked: "Which female host do you admire most in your mind? The audience said: "It's you." "Wang Xiaoya asked: "Why do you say that? The audience said: "Because you look a bit like Yang Lan!" "

It is said that one day in a certain year and month, three sharp archers got together to compete with each other, and the target was an apple on the head of a servant ten feet away.

A Sharp Archer He drew his bow and shot, and with a whoosh, the sharp arrow hit the apple. A raised his chin proudly, showed a thumb and said, "I AM Hou Yi!"

B The sharp archer followed the script and hit the target. Apple, this time he shouted arrogantly: "I AM Cupid!"

It was C's turn, he also drew his bow and shot out a sharp arrow! The result hit home to the servant's heart. I heard him stuttering for a long time before uttering: "I...I...I...AM...SORRY..."

The Earthworm family was very bored today, and the little Earthworm He cut himself into two pieces to play badminton. Mother Earthworm thought this method was good, so he cut himself into four pieces to play mahjong. Dad Earthworm thought about it and cut himself into minced meat. The mother earthworm cried and said: "Why are you so stupid? If you cut it into pieces like this, you will die!" The father earthworm said weakly: "...Suddenly I want to play football."

I wrote your name on By the sea

She was taken away by the waves

I wrote your name on the white clouds

She was taken away by the wind

I wrote your name all over the streets

I was taken away by pol.ice

Some people say that if you bury your girlfriend underground in the spring, you will gain a lot in the autumn. girlfriend.

My friend did as he was told... In the fall, he was buried underground by Uncle Pol.ice...