Ask for some classic jokes

1 When I was a sophomore, all the girls in the dormitory liked Emil Wakin Chau's songs, and a tape was borrowed by everyone. One day, the girl in the upper bunk asked: Where is my Emil Wakin Chau? The girl in the lower bunk replied, It's in my bed! There was silence for two seconds, and then everyone fell on the bed. 2. Ha ha, I remember, too. I just talked to my girlfriend for a month that year. One day, she told me that her waist was sore and tired. I said with concern, what's wrong? Do you want to go to the hospital? She said no, I have my period. I want to know: when? The winter vacation is still early. Girlfriend, sorry. I still often make fun of it.

3. Watch TV at home and put it in the Forbidden City. I said "uterus" in one bite-I didn't dare to say anything for a long time. I wonder what my parents and sister are thinking.

4. Going out for dinner with colleagues, a bunch of men and women, drinking white wine, took out a new lighter, which is the kind that children are not allowed to play with. A group of people were curious and began to play. Someone asked what this was for, and I blurted out, "I just brought a condom!" " Only then did I know it was not good. Sure enough, there was silence for a few seconds at the dinner table. I can't wait to get under the table ... embarrassed! !

When I was in the third grade, I had a little diarrhea every morning. When chatting with the male students at the back of the class, I proudly burst out with a professional word "I feel a little uncomfortable these days, maybe it is premature ejaculation" (it was on almost every telephone pole at that time). Male students were shocked for a long time because I am mm.

6. I met a little brother of 18 last year. His strongest story is that he had nothing to do in the examination room, so he clamped DD friction with his thigh and shot! ! Also, one morning he woke up and laughed wildly at a buddy in the same dormitory, which made everyone puzzled. He stifled his laughter and said, "It's so fucking depressing. I dreamed of killing him last night! I remember his voice calling for sleep! " I'm sweating all over! ! ! I don't know what he has been thinking. Brothers and sisters are killing each other!

7. I remember that he used to wear metal braces to correct his teeth for a while. Once we reviewed our lessons together and I was really bored. Let him kiss me below. As a result, he was also angry at the moment and bowed his body. As a result, my hair was hooked by his braces. I cried out in pain, and there were no scissors at hand. We have to stay at home and look for scissors. Fortunately, it is at home. If it happens in any public place, the consequences are really unimaginable!

When I was in college, a true story happened next door to our dormitory. The structure of our dormitory is that the main staircase is in the middle of the building, and the toilets are in the corners on both sides of the building. After bathing in summer, those brothers who are close to the bathroom often wash their underwear together after bathing in the evening, and then walk to the dormitory naked with a washbasin (in fact, many brothers did at that time, but it was usually at night). On one occasion, a brother walked to the dormitory in the same way after taking a bath at noon. When I turned the corner, I suddenly found a mm coming from the opposite side. This brother was anxious and opened the door of a dormitory next to him (we were tied together at that time, and the adjacent dormitories were tied by ourselves). This guy, after approaching the dormitory, still poked his head out to see the opposite MM, until he saw MM entering a dormitory, he was relieved. He said, "Sorry, there was a girl across the street just now" and turned away. Therefore, the # $ percent symbol &; & amp$ percent sign $ percent sign &; * $,hehe, the three MM in the dormitory are all red in the face, and they can't see their faces with their heads down, hehe.

9. In senior three, two boys in our dormitory often learned the sound of ML. Once, a boy was lying on the bed, and another boy was doing exercises beside him. The boy lying down imitates the woman's call for bed, and the boy kneeling on the bed imitates the man's wheezing voice. Just as the head teacher came in, he asked, what are you doing?

10, I just changed my mobile phone when I went to college, so I can put it on speaker. While I was showing off with the people in the dormitory, my girlfriend called and I immediately used the hands-free function. As a result, everyone in the room heard my girlfriend yelling at me: "You! It still hurts when I got it last time! " ..... no more hands-free function ~ ~

1 1, after going to college. Once my classmates and I went swimming in the school swimming pool, and we chatted by the pool. It happened that a girl was practicing diving. She reached under my crotch and grabbed my dd. Scared, I quickly pushed her hand away and swam away immediately. Later, I heard from my classmates that the girl floated up and complained: That man just now was really annoying. I tried to push the handrail, but he pushed my hand away and almost choked me to death!

12, once I went to an Internet cafe to play games with some classmates. After I finished playing, I entered the role and began to swear, such as: I am Cao, Cao, etc. After we went in, two girls we didn't know got online in the Internet cafe, stayed for a while, maybe it was too hard to listen to us and left. The owner of the Internet cafe was in a hurry and said to us: Cao Cao?

13, my husband went to his sister's house the night before he got married (his sister got married before us), and it happened that a man from his brother-in-law's unit was there. After chatting for a while, I talked about the mobile phone and said that I saw a model lighter of the mobile phone a few days ago, which was very realistic and the display screen was still semen. I was in high spirits when the man said, "With semen?" I froze, and it took me a long time to react. It's liquid crystal. Dizzy, just can't find the ground fissure.

14, haha, another one. I went to the wholesale store with a very good boy, and I saw a transparent bra shoulder strap. I secretly asked him how much it was when he wasn't looking. As a result, this guy was sharp-eyed and heard it. I looked at it, and you saw it anyway, and decided to buy one. As a result, when I was bargaining, this guy asked: What is this? Touhua? It's not pretty either. I feel dizzy. As a result, the boss asked (the boss is a girl): So you don't understand?