The coldest winter joke

The rabbit said, "My mother calls me a bunny, which is nice!" " The pig said, "My mother calls me a pig, which is nice!" " The dog said, "My mother calls me a puppy, which is nice!" " "The chicken said," you talk, I walked first! The rabbit said, "I am a rabbit son of a bitch!" "The pig said," I'm a son of a bitch! " "The chicken said," I'm a son of a bitch! "The dog said," You talk, I'll go first! " Lang Ke said: "People call me a ronin, which is very nice!" The samurai said, "It's nice to be called a samurai!" The expert said, "It's nice to be called an expert!" The swordsman said, "You talk, I'll go first!" General Li Zongren said: I am a benevolent man! General fu said to him: I am just! General Zuo Quan said: I have this right! General Huo Qubing said: You talk, I'll go first! Lao Zhang's door is made of wicker. Lao Zhang said: My door is made of wood. Lao Li's door is made of plastic. Lao Li said: My door is made of plastic. Lao Wang's door is made of brick. Lao Wang said: My door is made of bricks. Lao Liu's door is made of steel. Lao Liu said: you talk, I'll go first! Teachers' College students said: I am a student of Railway College of Teachers' College said: I am a student of Vocational College of Iron College said: I am a student of Technical College of Vocational College said: You talk, I took two bananas for a walk first, and when one was hot, I took off my clothes and threw them on the ground. As a result, the banana behind me slipped on the banana skin Second, in Guandi Temple, everyone smells a stream. Xiao Ming said angrily, "Whoever set it free should be ashamed." Suddenly, Guan Yu jumped down from the altar and beat Xiao Ming: "I was born to blush!" " ! ! "Third, Xiao Ming is afraid of the dark, because there will be ghosts at night, but one day, he thought of a way to turn himself into a ghost, so he was not afraid. So he committed suicide ... The most open animal is zebra, because: black and white; The most likely animal to fall is the fox, because: it is cunning (its feet are slippery); The most disoriented thing is Sixiang, because its name is Elk (Lost). 6. Once upon a time, a dog pulled out four poops. When the owner saw a button stuck in the dog's P file. One day, Xiao Qiang asked his father, "Dad, am I a stupid child?" Dad said, "silly boy, how can you be a silly boy?" "Eight, the earthworm family was bored this day, and the little earthworm cut himself into two pieces to play badminton. Mother earthworm thinks this method is good, so she cuts herself into four pieces to play mahjong. Father earthworm thought about it and cut himself into minced meat. Mother earthworm cried and said, "why are you so stupid?" "You'll die if you cut so hard!" Father earthworm said weakly ... I suddenly want to play football. Q: One day, it took a bird 1 hour to fly from Kaohsiung to Taipei. But it took 2 hours to get back! Why? Because it is raining! So cover the rain with one hand and let it fly with the other. On the plane, a stewardess asked a little girl, "Why didn't the plane hit the stars when it was flying so high?" The little girl replied, "I know, because the stars will shine!" " "Eleven, a turtle walked through a pile of shit, but only left three footprints on it. Why? Because it held its nose with one hand! ! ! Twelve, twenty-six letters. How many letters are left after ET left? A: 2 1, ET wants to drive away UFOs ... thirteen. Astronauts from NASA soon discovered that ballpoint pens could not write without gravity. In order to solve this problem, NASA spent 10 years and1200 million dollars to invent a pen, which can be used in zero gravity, can be written backwards, can be written underwater, and can be used on almost all surfaces, including glass, at zero to 300 degrees Celsius. The Russians solved all this with a pencil. Fourteen, q; What mouse walks on two feet? a； Mickey mouse. Q: Smart! So, what kind of duck walks on two feet? A: Donald Duck. Q: Wrong! All ducks walk on two legs! A businessman and his friend were invited to a professor's house for dinner. During the dinner, a guest asked him if he liked Shakespeare. He replied, "Yes, but I prefer whisky." Everyone was speechless. On the way home, his friend said, "You are so stupid. Why did you mention whisky? "? Everyone knows that Shakespeare is not wine. It's a cheese. Q: What do African cannibals eat? A: people! Q: Then one day, the chief fell ill and the doctor told him to be a vegetarian. What did he eat? A: ... Q: Idiot. Vegetable eater! Seventeen, one day, a male sika deer ran faster and faster ... until finally ... it became a "high-speed male deer". Eighteen, a fat girl asked the racecourse manager: Strange, when did a camel with two peaks come to your racecourse? Librarian: To tell the truth, this is not a camel, but the horse you rode last time.