Getting started: Don’t talk to strangers

A program conducted such a test, asking reporters to pretend to be bad guys and "abduct" primary school students who had just finished class. 8 out of 10 students were successfully "taken away". The parents sitting in the car began to swear, full of confidence in their children. He said that he would definitely pass the test if he was taught regularly at home not to talk to strangers casually or to walk with strangers. After the reporter took the child to the car, he sighed and became angry. He wished he could pull the child over and slap him twice on the buttocks.

Not to mention kindergarten ones, 90% of them can be successfully taken away from the playground inside the kindergarten. Only one survived because he was scared to tears, and the only one who survived was because of the "liar's" poor skills.

Most parents often say a famous saying when educating their children about safety: don’t talk to strangers, don’t trust strangers, don’t go with people you don’t know, etc.

There is a lot of this kind of education in kindergartens, schools, and families. The government, experts, and news media often stand up after a major incident in which a child is abducted and deceived, and preach with great righteousness: Children must be strengthened in their safety education and awareness of fraud prevention!

But a small test in reality slapped the reality of this education hard, and then spit on it.

Why is there a situation where government propaganda, regular education in schools, constant talk at home, and all the efforts of all parties to feed milk are useless?

Let me first tell you a little story that everyone and the three-year-old little beast at home are familiar with: Once upon a time, there were three little pig brothers who wanted to build their own house. The eldest son built a thatched house, the second son built a wooden house, and the third son felt that the brick house was safe, so he built the brick house with difficulty. The big bad wolf came, first blowing down the eldest brother's thatched house, and then collapsing the second brother's wooden house. The three brothers hid in the third brother's brick house. The brick house was very strong, so the wolf had to give up his plan to eat the piglet.

Our children’s current defense system against fraud and abduction is like the thatched house built by the boss. Our idea is to help the child build a copper and iron wall outside his thatched house.

The idea is very good, but what we are doing now is to hang a bit-level C-level lock outside the child's thatched house, and then hope that the wolf comes over and is helpless with the special-level lock, and finally gives up. Piggy's plan.

So the result is a completely useless defense. The door can be easily dismantled, even if a hundred W-level locks are hung, it will be useless!

Let’s break it down and take a look at the simple sentence “Don’t talk to strangers”

Strange, Baidu explains:

1. Strange: not known in advance Know, haven’t heard of or seen.

2. Having a foreign or unfamiliar appearance, manner or characteristics.

? 3. Strangers refer to people whom you don’t know or understand.

The above explanation is more formal and written, and not everyone can answer it in such a standard way. But as every parent, we know the basic meaning, but our understanding also contains many extended meanings:

1. Such strangers refer to unfamiliar and unreliable people.

2. This is a very subjective word, and it is also a word with no dividing line. I don’t understand it at all, I have a little understanding, and I can express it as unfamiliar even if I have only a little understanding.

3. Speaking refers to active or passive verbal communication.

However, children do not have such a clear concept of this sentence. Maybe it is a separate word for them: they don’t know it, they haven’t seen it before--this can easily be said. Boundary breakdown.

Children may think this way:

I saw him yesterday, so he is not a stranger.

He just played with me and got to know me, so he is not a stranger.

He took the initiative to talk to me, not me. He talked to me first.

He said he was a policeman, not a stranger!

He asked me for directions and asked me to guide him. Didn’t my parents say that we should be willing to help others?

He is not talking, he is looking for me to make friends!

All of these are the understanding of the sentence "Don't talk to strangers" in the child's heart.

The words "knowledge structure" and "thinking model" that people often say often make people think of a solid and tangible framework or a network.

Everyone starts weaving this web of knowledge and understanding bit by bit from birth, kindergarten, elementary school, middle school... little by little. Everyone who weaves a web should know that it gradually connects and expands from the existing boundaries. The same goes for the expansion of the boundaries of human knowledge. They all gradually extend outward from the boundaries of our existing understanding. You can't just throw a point outside the boundary and it will be connected. It's unrealistic and impossible. If you write an English word to a person who has never learned the letters ABC, he will just memorize the words by rote and become a lonely point outside the network of knowledge. There is no connection, let alone application and application. expand.

Now our children are like a sparse net composed of a few points. And the sentence "Don't talk to strangers" that we tell him now is like an isolated point outside his knowledge network or a network with incomplete connections, or even just simple connected points. This point cannot be embedded in his network. Even if it is embedded, it is still fragile. At this time, no matter how reliable this point is, just like a C-level lock, the joint next to it is fragile, just like a locked thatched house, so in the end the entire defense is fragile.

When we grow up, we often say something like this: Oh, I was really stupid at that time, why didn’t I know? If only I had known earlier, if I had known earlier, I would have known and studied at that time. If I had known, I would have persisted for a while, if I had known, I would have read more books...

Most people in their thirties and forties now have such an idea, but they can no longer go back. I have gone, and there is no possibility or chance to come again. Very helpless!

But their children have just started, and what’s even more helpless is: when they tell their children such "precious" lessons, even though they are full of sincerity, there is no trace of them. Find ways to let your children understand!

Think about it, is it like scattering sincere gold grains on a sparse net, and then watching the gold particles pass through the holes in the middle of the net and scatter to the ground!

Besides helplessness, helplessness, disappointment, and anger, there is no other way! Then pick it up again, sprinkle it again, and repeat the same action. Some even just watch their children make the same mistakes as themselves, "finding that they have no hope, and then realizing that their children are also heading towards no hope step by step." This kind of despair is slowly approaching, and there is no way to do it. .

The pain cannot be expressed, but it is real!

Everyone has a knowledge structure that realizes existence. The building of knowledge, whether it is three floors or thirty floors, a common mistake is to regard the top floor of the building as the most precious. He gave the valuable glazed tile to his child, and then said: "Here you go, this is very precious, be sure to remember it, don't lose it, it will be useful when the time comes!". The child who was just laying the foundation on the first floor held the tiles that had nowhere to put them, and moved them behind his butt with only confusion and confusion. Not long after, one day I realized, hey, what the hell is this thing hanging on the back of my butt? It was of no use at all, so I threw it away.

A good knowledge education should be when you give me a brick that can be used whether it is when I am laying the foundation or when I am building the third or fifth floor. knowledge transfer. What the children want now is to give me bricks that I can use now and embed in my little house now, not beautiful glazed tiles that I can only use after I reach the 30th floor. A solitary tile hanging behind their buttocks serves no purpose other than causing pain.

So which classic literary works do I admire very much? I read them three years ago, read them three months ago, and read them yesterday. Every time I read them, I get different results. Every time I read them, I read them again. Everything is new!

It is like a universal brick, which can be used whether it is laying the foundation, building the third floor, or capping the roof.

From a young age, it is parent-child education; from an older age, it is the transmission and enlightenment of knowledge and energy.

A gives his thing to B, and B catches it.

But B didn’t catch it! In the meantime, is it A's problem or B's problem?

For the little prodigy in the family, it is the unreasonable B, whether it is right or wrong, it is A’s problem. He stretched out his little hand, and I stayed there motionless.

Whether he can catch it or not, let’s see what his parents are capable of!

For the author A of our writing, the object B is the reader! But when A gives something to B, he more or less hopes to get something in return from B. Regardless of attention, likes, traffic or money!

Therefore, in the end, it is all a test of Giver A’s skills! The recipient B is an old man and has the right to speak.

Learning and teaching are two completely different types of work. It’s not easy to be a top student, you have to be able to learn. It’s even more difficult to prove to the teacher that you know how to do it.

Go further, if you learn it and prove to the scumbags that you know it, then you are the real master.

The writers of some classic literary works are such masters!

I am also reflecting, and this is also a personal reflection article.

The same goes for writing, as it should be. Looking back twenty years ago and looking at the present, people are always becoming more and more "impetuous", less and "patient", and more and more "superficial"! People can't calm down and read those difficult and difficult masterpieces. The Book of Songs, Shangshu, Book of Rites, Zhouyi, Spring and Autumn, etc. are becoming less and less read. There are many good works on online writing platforms, but not many people actually read them carefully. ------Why?

I believe that the existence of all phenomena is reasonable.

Bian Que told the story of his three brothers: "The eldest brother cured diseases and cast spells to eradicate the root causes of the disease before it occurred. His superb medical skills were not known to outsiders, only his family knew about them, so he was not famous. 2. My brother treats diseases when they first appear and the symptoms are superficial. Although the disease is cured by the medicine, the villagers think that he is just a doctor who can treat minor illnesses, so he has little reputation. I treat patients only. When the condition is critical and the patient is in extreme pain, I can be treated with acupuncture, internal and external medicines, and even surgery, which can turn the condition into a peaceful one and gradually make a recovery. Everyone thinks that my medical skills are miraculous, so I am famous all over the world. ”

Although most of us who write do not have such big goals, they want to cure diseases, save people, and stabilize the country. But in ordinary life, no one wants to wait until the day comes when they realize that they don’t have enough knowledge, and then they “operate” to make up for it when they need it urgently! I also want to read short stories, watch short jokes, watch short videos, and watch bubble dramas every day, so that I can "not be sick"!

No one wants to take bitter medicine, so there are "sugar-coated tablets", but now that people are so-called "impetuous", impatient, and "superficial", a piece of sugar is no longer useful. What is required is that the disease can be cured while only eating sweets and drinking delicious soup.

I believe this is also the direction of future writing.