*** Wedding customs: from "four-color ceremony" to "recognizing size"

Blessings at the Ceremony

Blessings at the Ceremony

New couples are often blocked and "made difficult"

A newlywed couple

The groom’s parents pull the wedding car together

***’s customs and habits are deeply influenced by both national traditions and Han culture. *** Since ancient times, we have valued the seriousness and continuity of marriage and treated it as a sacred contract to stay together forever. When getting married, a ceremony in which both parties agree to the marriage, that is, the "Nikaha" (marriage witness) ceremony, must be held, so that the marriage is in compliance with religious law and valid. Like marriages of other ethnic groups, *** weddings also go through procedures such as proposal of marriage, gift-giving and marriage, but the actual content is quite different.

Proposing a marriage

When a young man likes a girl, he has to ask a matchmaker to propose marriage. In some places, in addition to this one matchmaker, two other matchmakers must be appointed to discuss the appointment and betrothal, so there is a saying of "three matchmakers and six certificates".

Based on the unique historical background, the customs and habits of *** are deeply influenced by the dual influence of national tradition and Han culture.

*** Wedding customs are strange and full of mystery. They follow the ancient times and have comic elements throughout. They are like a unique scenery, which reflects the historical tradition and modern civilization of a nation.

*** The whole process of a wedding involves proposing marriage, giving gifts, and getting married. However, the actual content is very different from that of other ethnic groups. For example, if a young man likes a girl, he will ask a matchmaker to propose marriage. After several discussions, if the girl's parents agree to the marriage, they will make it clear to the matchmaker.

In the past, there were matchmakers who specialized in matchmaking. With their sharp tongue, they supported two families with one hand and went back and forth to persuade them. In order for their children to have a smooth life-long event, the families of the parties often treated the matchmaker harshly. entertain. Therefore, as the saying goes: "Mother-in-law, her mouth is full of grease."

In some places, in addition to this one matchmaker, two other matchmakers must be appointed to discuss the appointment and betrothal. Therefore, there is a saying of "three matchmakers and six certificates". It can be seen that the matter of matchmaking is not It’s small, and not everyone can take it on.

The matchmaker’s contribution is not small. To "arrange" a marriage, it's not surprising that a few pairs of shoes will be ruined even if the matchmaker talks a lot. I have heard people joke to the groom at weddings more than once: "Listen up, Gawazi, you don't want the wife to marry into the house and the matchmaker to leave the wall!"

Gift-Giving

Gift-giving can be divided into "luohua gift", "water gift" and large and small gifts.

The "Luohua ceremony" means that the woman's family has agreed to the marriage and accepted the ceremony. This so-called gift is also called "baozi", which contains four things: "sugar, tea, walnut kernels, and red dates". Because it is divided into four packaging colors: "red, yellow, green and blue", it is also called the "four-color gift".

The "water gift" is also called the "opening gift", which actually means "making buns" when opening the mouth. The share of "making buns" depends on the number of the woman's direct family members. In addition to the parents, the people who want to "make buns" include the elderly and brothers and sisters of both parents, ranging from three to five families to as many as ten or twenty families. "Baobaozi" occupies a very distinguished position in a woman's life, especially in marriages. Sometimes, a seemingly perfect marriage may end up with a "wrong bag" problem, causing the engagement to break off, leaving a lifelong regret.

Send "small gifts", apart from "bags", they are just a few sets of clothes and cosmetics. Sending big gifts is commonly known as "fixing the date". The groom's family not only has to give gold and silver jewelry and "money for milk", but also "stick him to death". The "milk money" mentioned here is a tradition of Christianity, which expresses gratitude for the mother's nurturing grace and is indispensable. And "Zhao Si" means that all the "Aitaibu" (etiquette) rituals have ended here and will no longer be derived.

On the first night of the wedding, there is a "drinking scented tea" ceremony at the bride's family.

"Drinking scented tea" means the bride bids farewell to the girl and moves toward maturity, so the invited guests are all unmarried girls.

The girls talked freely and recalled the intimacy of their youth; at the same time, they wished the bride a happy marriage. This is an important night of transition in the bride's life, so there are thirteen flower plates on the dining table, and all kinds of candies and pastries are colorful and dazzling. And that refreshing pot of green tea, poured into the tea cup, looks like blooming green petals, and when you drink it in your mouth, the lingering fragrance fills your mouth, making your thoughts wander.

In the Yili area, *** is also influenced by the living customs of the *** Er people. After the "drinking scented tea" ceremony, there is singing and dancing, and *** has fun until late at night.

"Recognize the seniority"

*** When people get married, there is a fixed ritual called "recognition of the seniority" - once you get married, you are a family, and the groom will be ranked according to seniority. Say "Sailam" (please greetings).

*** Attending a wedding banquet is called "eating a banquet". In the past, in the countryside, when one family got married, the whole village had a banquet. Especially those aunts and aunts, holding one in their arms, leading another in their hands, and some even following behind. When we arrived at the banquet table, a plate of food was brought to us. Each person picked up a chopstick, but there was not much left. The child looked around inadvertently, and when he looked back, the plate was all empty, so he started crying, making a mess. The people at the table were embarrassed.

Looking at the current banquet table, the plates are piled high, and sometimes there are even plates piled on top of each other, making it difficult to eat. The steaming braised pork, the charred outside and tender inside, and the fragrant meatballs are all mouth-watering! I once had a mainland friend who had a wedding banquet and still remembers it fresh. In his words: "There is more meat and less vegetables, and it tastes so good. My stomach is full, but my eyes are not full yet."

In fact, what is really amazing is the unique "nine bowls and three bowls" of *** people. Xingzi". Not only must nine bowls of the same size be used to serve the dishes, but the arrangement must also be symmetrical and equal, that is, three bowls are placed on each side to form a square, hence the name "Nine Bowls and Three Elements". In addition, there are also techniques when serving. Arrange the four corners first, then the middle, and they are all not oily. It tastes not greasy, refreshing, and has a unique flavor.

*** There are many etiquettes on people's wedding day, among which "waiting in silence" is the most important.

"Waqili" is a Chinese slang word, meaning "the host of the marriage". It is a status symbol. Generally, the uncle is responsible for arranging the entire marriage process. His status is second only to the bride's parents and must be lifelong. Recognize each other. The so-called "response" means that the sequence of events is completely decided by "Wu Qili".

In fact, in order to enhance the wedding atmosphere, many people are willing to improvise. *** When people get married, there is a fixed ritual called "recognition of age" - once married, they become a family, and the groom will say "Sailiam" (greetings) based on seniority.

So someone made a joke. "When you say 'Salem', you need to have a loud voice, and secondly, you have to bend at 90 degrees. If you don't meet the standard, try again, try again!" The groom blushed, and repeated it again respectfully and seriously. , compared with the first time, the voice also increased by an octave. "The groom's official met the requirements, but something went wrong with the son-in-law (best man). I have no choice but to do it all over again!" The joker was critical and unwilling to give up.

My niece got married a few days ago. Someone asked the groom to stand on a stool and say "Sailam". The groom is already big, and standing on the stool is like walking on stilts, trembling, which makes people worried. However, the groom is really eager to get married, and will still complete difficult actions again and again until the other party is satisfied.

"Setting up" is generally carried out under the guidance of "Wu Qili", but there are also mothers-in-law who are on the front line to direct. Just like a relative of mine, on the day of her daughter's wedding, she personally led and accompanied her son-in-law. Say "Salem".

"Playing with the parents-in-law"

"Three days after marriage, there is no difference", this is most vividly reflected in the *** wedding game of "playing with the parents-in-law".

According to traditional Chinese etiquette, on the wedding day, in addition to giving the bride a "make-up gift" - a set of clothes, the husband's family also gives the bride an important "nepotism money".

This "nepotism money" must be equal in amount to both men and women. It is similar to the bride's private money. It should be deposited at the bottom of the box and cannot be easily spent. Therefore, the folk saying goes: "If you have enough nepotism money, you will not be angry for the rest of your life."

*** Parents do not participate in the wedding, and the groom's elders and peers usually do it for them. Men pay attention to choosing someone with high moral character, while women choose a virtuous and virtuous young daughter-in-law. The same is true for the person sending off the bride.

At this time, the groom's parents waiting at home may have been "disguised" by those who can't wait. Or they might paint their faces in big colors, and hang a bunch of red peppers on their ears; or they might wear their leather jackets backwards and stick a big broom on their backs. It is said that a marriage lasts only three days, and this is clearly reflected in the game of "playing the in-laws" at *** weddings.

Think about it, in a rural courtyard with very simple folk customs, a donkey was brought from nowhere, and several people asked the father-in-law to ride on the back of the donkey backwards, and one person held the lead in front of him. , a group of people chased after him. If it were an honest and obedient donkey, it would be fine, jogging along in small steps, although there were a few bumps, but it would be a leisurely ride; if it were a bully and stubborn donkey, how could it tolerate such "hugging in front of and behind" and tossing around like this? Maybe your husband would break free of the reins and run away as soon as he got on the donkey's back, shouting loudly as he ran, and without paying attention, he would knock you off with a single kick.

When we arrived in the city, it was a different scene. Instead of riding a donkey backwards, the parents-in-law pulled the wedding cart together. The parents-in-law, who were all dressed up in fancy clothes, were smiling and excited, as if they only lowered their heads to pull the cart, but didn’t know how to raise their heads to see the road. Of course, it was actually just a show. The iron lumps weighing several tons were not pulled by humans at all. Besides, his own son and daughter-in-law were sitting in the car. Even if the driver could bear it, they couldn't bear it.

Another interesting thing is that on the morning after the wedding, the bride’s family will make steamed buns and bring them to the bride and groom, commonly known as “eye-opening steamed buns.” The mother-in-law's family intentionally adds one or two particularly salty or spicy buns to the buns. The intention is both playful and a test of the son-in-law's attentiveness. If the groom is a young man, he may actually bump into one of them while he is wolfing down the food, and start yelling. Firstly, he looks immature, and secondly, it becomes a joke. If you have been mentally prepared, even if you accidentally eat it, you will definitely swallow it quietly, because the ups and downs of life have really begun from this moment on.