The worst joke

1, Yinda Town, Yilong County, Sichuan Province, cracked down on drunk driving some time ago (excessive alcohol, detention 15 days). The local traffic police set up checkpoints on the expressway at night to check the passing vehicles. A driver named Liu Ling was driving after drinking a lot, when the traffic police signaled him to stop.

During the inspection, people will think that he is dead, not necessarily. I saw him pull over slowly and unhurriedly, and then took something at the front of the car. You can't guess, hehe, it's a bottle of Red Star Erguotou. Open the lid.

Son, then open the door and get off. The traffic police came over and drank the bottle of wine in one breath in front of the traffic police. The traffic police came over and asked him if he was drunk. He replied: comrade traffic police, you see I don't drink until I get off the bus. number

I drink and drive. I don't drive after drinking. I parked my car here. I can always walk back after drinking. Say that finish and roared off. The traffic police were dumbfounded, angry and helpless. The traffic law stipulates that you can't drink and drive.

However, it is not illegal to drink after getting off the bus. -We should study it thoroughly!

I went back to my hometown to see my grandma a few days ago. It happened to be the weekend. There are so many people on the bus that I can't stand, but there are still people pushing around. I'm so depressed that I want to jump! Look, another man is coming. Something's wrong. Oh, that man's eyes are wrong. His eyes stayed below the waist of others. Hum! Do you want to know what he does? He came up to me, pretending that his hand was tickling, but actually he wanted to unzip my bag. I stared at him with anger. I don't know why, so I added: everyone eats by car, so you won't be honest with each other! He took back his hand angrily and then mysteriously put it in my ear: it turned out to be a colleague, I'm sorry! Where are you from? I haven't seen you before! I really want to cry, I don't look like a thief! ! ! ! !

By the way, I am a beautiful bus driver! Afraid you'll forget me! ! !

3. Buy popsicles. 1.5 yuan. To the boss 10 yuan. Boss, change, 8.5 yuan. Then throw 8.5 yuan into the trash can. Wrong idea, throw the popsicle into the trash can. I left a sorbet paper in my hand. . . Cold. . . . Finally, I rummaged through the trash can there myself. .

6-year-old Xiao Fang is very cute.

It is often mentioned by the boys in the class.

One day,

Xiao Fang returned home and said to her mother:

"mom!

Xiao Qiang proposed to me today, proposed to me ... "

Mother casually said:

"Does he have a regular job?"

Xiao Fang wanted to mean to say:

"He is responsible for cleaning the blackboard in our class."

Because I have the habit of washing my hands after every meal, do you pay attention to hygiene? Unfortunately, one day, while I was eating, a classmate asked me loudly in class, "Why do you wash your hands after every meal?" I answered him inexplicably: "Wash your hands before and after meals. . . "Suddenly, the whole class was silent. . .

It was in the first grade of primary school. Now it's really ... that afternoon in the self-study class, the teacher assigned us to do our homework and said, whoever finishes the homework of the day first can go home first! The teacher corrects his homework on the podium himself! ! ! ! My buddy was a good student. It's only 15 minutes after the end of the 40-minute self-study class, and I'm almost finished. Because I was so absorbed in writing, I forgot that I was at home in class, thinking that I was almost finished, I looked up and shouted: Mom, I want to eat steamed sausage and fried eggs at night (this is my favorite)! I didn't pay attention at that time, and the teacher didn't pay attention and agreed: OK! The teacher's family is also a son. At the same time, my teacher and I thought the sound was wrong, only to find out that it was at school. We were both sweating, ......................, and then the whole class burst into laughter. As a result, the self-study class ended early, and I was laughed at by my classmates for a semester.

Last Sunday, I went back to my hometown in the country to visit my grandparents. It happened that my little uncle was there. We just chat and watch TV. Seeing that half of my little uncle suddenly had a stomachache, I went to the toilet to defecate ... A few minutes later ... I suddenly heard a sentence from the toilet: Ah ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Shit! ! ! My grandmother went to the toilet and cursed my uncle, saying, what a big man! And curse! Uncle: Sorry. Oh, my God. I just wiped P shares ... halfway through ... suddenly my nose runs. So I naturally picked up the toilet paper in my hand and wiped my nose ...

..........

That's the worst laugh grandma has ever seen ..!

8. In class that day, I drew a pig and stuck it on the back of the classmate in front. He found it soon, tore it off and stared at me. I was puzzled and asked him, "How do you know there is a pig behind you?"

9. I pinched a big cock by the neck but didn't dare to go under the knife. I hesitated for a long time, and I strangled the chicken.

10, another toilet. My classmate's university is a key university. I haven't been there, but I heard that the facilities are in place, such as electronic reading room and campus card. What's even more ridiculous is that the toilet is still voice-activated flushing.

On one occasion, she was texting while defecating, and when she was about to get up, she accidentally dropped her cell phone and the urinal was very shallow. Actually, it's okay if she picks it up right away. But-when the mobile phone dropped, she was shocked and unconsciously cried, "Ah!" The phone was washed away. ...

1 1, I passed an intersection that day and wanted to fart. There happened to be a man riding a motorcycle, so I wanted to take this opportunity to cover my fart. I don't know. It's too noisy. The motorcyclist thought it had started and was about to leave. I was embarrassed that time. ......

Comrades in the dormitory come from all corners of the country, and it is inevitable that chickens will talk to ducks when they talk.

One day, a boy from Northeast China and a boy from Gansu went to buy instant noodles. Northeast China said to itself: "What's the smell of the whole? Beef with scallion! " A boy from Gansu asked curiously, "What do you mean by' whole'?" Northeast China replied: "Eating is eating." In the evening, the three of us went to the bathroom, and the sewer was blocked, resulting in gold in it. When the boys in Northeast China saw it, they were furious: "What a mess! ? "

The voice did not fall, and Gansu, looking forward, vomited. .......

13 One day after school,

The son asked his father, "Dad, where did I come from?"

His father found the question difficult to answer.

But we should take this opportunity to educate children,

Take cats and dogs seriously,

Talk falteringly about the process of reproduction.

After listening to this, my son,

A scratching his head to say:

"How did that happen? My deskmate said that he is from Shanxi! "

14, eyes are not very good. I forgot to wear my glasses that day and wanted to see the words written on the blackboard. I borrowed it from my classmate: "Hey, what's the degree of your glasses? Can you lend them to me? " The classmate replied: "250 degrees." I was very excited: "Oh, great, I'm 250, too."

15, exercise books will be issued in the new semester. The first thing the students do when they get the books is to write down their class names first. But a classmate wrote a big word in his notebook-"Ben". I think he may want to remind himself that he should never forget what is in front of him.