Hospital joke

1. The doctor decided to perform caesarean section on pregnant women, so he ordered his assistant to go to the pharmacy to get a bottle of 4% anesthetic solution.

The assistant came back soon, took the medicine to the doctor and said, 4% of the medicine has been used up. Here are two bottles of 2% anesthetic water. ?

The doctor kindly asked him, young man, if you can't find a 20-year-old girl to marry, would you like to make peace with two 10-year-old girls?

2. Mr. Smith has just finished examining a female patient and confirmed that she is pregnant, so he said, Mrs. Jones, I have good news for you. ?

? It's Miss Jones. ? Young ladies are more correct.

? Oh, Miss Jones? The doctor said quickly,? I have some bad news for you.

3. The young intern asked the attending doctor:? Why do you always forget to ask patients what they often eat when diagnosing?

The attending doctor smiled and replied:? This is extremely important. According to the patient's diet, I can judge how much medical expenses I can charge him. ?

A person has appendicitis, but he doesn't want to have an operation anyway. His family forcibly sent him to the hospital, and he kept shouting in painful struggle:? Since God gave man a cecum, it must be useful.

? Of course it works. The doctor said, if humans don't have that nasty appendicitis, # Why buy a car to send their daughter to study abroad?

5. The patient complained to the doctor:? I am so miserable. In my dream, I always see groups of ghosts squatting on the wall of my house, which is inevitable every night. What should I do?

The doctor asked: Are your fences made of wood?

The patient nodded.

The doctor simply said:? Hurry back and sharpen the fence! ?

When someone's wife is ill, please call a doctor to see her.

The doctor checked it and asked. Do you have a screwdriver? Yes, here you are. ? After a while, the doctor asked again, do you have a hammer? Yes, but what happened to my wife?

? It's okay, I have to open the medicine cabinet first! ! ?

7. A wife complained to the doctor that her husband was too old to have sex. The doctor gave her some pills and asked her to take them back to her husband to see how they worked.

A week later, the lady came back and said, Doctor, these pills are great. He has been getting along with me day and night for six days in a row. ? The effect is not bad! ? The doctor said happily.

She replied:? Yeah! Well done! He played with me four times before he died.

8. A seriously ill patient went to see a famous doctor. The nurse said to him, the doctor's schedule is full, and it will take at least three weeks for your turn. ?

? What? It takes three weeks? The patient cried. Maybe I won't live to that time! ?

? Oh, that's all right. The nurse said,? At that time, you can ask your family to cancel the appointment for you. ?

9. In the lounge outside the hospital delivery room, a group of men are waiting to become new fathers. A nurse hurried out of the delivery room and said to one of them, congratulations, your wife gave birth to a young lady! ? Another man threw his cigarette butt on the ground, jumped up and shouted, Shit! I got there before him. Why isn't it my turn yet?

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