! ! Leave a joke that you think is the funniest! !

1. Dad told his daughter that she was often hungry when she was a child. After hearing this, the daughter had tears in her eyes and said sympathetically, "Oh, Dad, did you come to our house because you didn't have food?"

Tong Tong asked his mother, "Why do you call Mr. Jiang your ancestor?" Mother said, "Because' ancestor' is the name of the deceased."

Tong Tong said: "Will those dead grandmothers be called' fresh milk'?"

Mother often says to Xiaomei, "You can't swing in a skirt, or the little boy will see the underwear inside!" One day, Xiaomei said happily to her mother, "Mom, I played on the swing with Xiaoming today, and I won!" " "Mother said angrily," didn't I tell you? Don't put on a skirt! " Xiaomei said proudly, "But I'm so smart! I took off my underwear so that he couldn't see my underwear! "

4. One day, Xiaoming and his father went out to play. When it was time for dinner, his father took him to the door of a small restaurant. Xiaoming won't go in anyway. His father asked him why. Xiaoming pointed to the sign in front of the restaurant and said, "I don't want to eat urine fried rice ..." Originally, the sign read:

Cheating copy

simple meal

One day after school, a little boy asked his mother, "Mom, where am I from?" Mother thinks this question is not easy to answer, but she should take this opportunity to educate her children, taking cats and dogs as examples, and seriously talk about the reproductive process. After listening to this, the son said in a daze, "How did this happen? My deskmate said that he is from Shanxi! "

Xiaoming went to grandma's birthday party. When it's time to eat birthday buns, Xiao Ming asks, "Why do we eat this kind of birthday buns like ass?" They listened to the face big change. Then Xiao Ming opened the handbag, looked at the bean paste inside and said, "Grandma, look! There is also shit in it! " Everyone fainted, vomited and vomited.

7. On the weekend morning, my husband was still lying in the quilt, but his friend Tony came. I quickly said to my three-year-old daughter, "Quick, go and call Dad." My daughter looked at me, hesitated for a moment, walked up to Tony and timidly shouted, "Dad." ...

Tom always listens to his father's story before going to bed. ...

Dad: "Once upon a time, there was a frog ..."

Tom: "Dad, I don't want to listen to fairy tales today. Can I tell science fiction stories? "

Dad: "Well, in space, there is a frog ..."

Tom: "Forget it, Dad, in order to celebrate my eighth birthday, can we talk about the restricted level?"

Dad: "All right! Don't let your mother know. There is a frog with no clothes on ... "

9. The teacher teaches students the new word "quilt" in class. Xiao Ming didn't understand, so the teacher patiently inspired him: "What's on the bed when you sleep at night?"

"It's a sheet."

"What about the sheets?"

"It's my mother." The whole class burst into laughter.

Undaunted, the teacher asked, "What about your mother?"

Xiao Ming mumbled something: "It's my dad ..."

10, at night, the three-year-old elk was already lying in bed. He begged his mother: "Mom, give me an apple!" " ""The child is too late, and the apple has gone to bed. " "No, the little one may be asleep, and the big one is definitely not asleep! "

1 1. The naughty Baker knew that his mother had come back and rushed out of the room: "Mom, do you know how much toothpaste is contained in this toothpaste?" I don't know. "I just know that it can squeeze from the sofa to the door."

One day, Bike's grandmother came to school and said to the headmaster, "I want to see Bike in class. Isn't he cute? " The headmaster said, "Sorry, not today. He has asked for leave to attend your funeral. "

13, in the street, a little girl walked up to an uncle in police uniform. She looked it up and down and carefully asked:

"Are you a policeman?"

"yes."

"Mom said that no matter what difficulties you encounter, you will get help finding pol.ice, right?"

"Yes!"

"Well," the little girl raised one foot, "please help me tie my shoelaces."

14, Mommy came back from the market and asked her youngest son Tom, "What did you do after school today? 』

Tom: "I play the postman and send a letter to everyone in the community!" ! 』

Mommy: "But where did you get so many letters? 』

Tom: "the bundle with pink ribbon in your closet is enough!" ! 』

15, an old gentleman walked slowly along the street and saw a little boy reaching for the doorbell, but the doorbell was too high to reach. The kind old gentleman stopped and said to the child, "I'll ring the doorbell for you." So he rang the doorbell so hard that the whole house heard him.

At this time, the child said to the old man, "Now let's run away, quick!" " "

Old man: "..."

16, "Fish, why are you crying? 』

"Because my brother had a holiday, and I didn't ..."

"Then why didn't you? 』

"Because I haven't gone to school ..."

17, a guerrilla is telling a battle story to the children. He suddenly asked a boy of 12 years old, "Konopka, if you are a guerrilla commander, what actions should the guerrillas take to stop the enemy from using the railway?" Konopka stood up and replied loudly: "We must quickly occupy the ticket office and burn all the tickets!"

18, the mother said to her five-year-old son, "Dad said he would hold a dinner party at home tonight to entertain a Yugoslav who has business contacts."

In the evening, the father and the guests stepped into the house, and the child ran into the kitchen and whispered to his mother, "Mom! Come and see, that lady is a man! "

19, "Students, who is the king of beasts?" The teacher asked.

"The director of the zoo." Little John answered.

20. Father: "Do you know why there is a bag in front of kangaroo's stomach?"

Child: "I think it must be used to hold kangaroos."

Father: "But kangaroo also has a bag in front of its stomach. What is the explanation? "

Child: "that must be used to hold candy!" " "

2 1, son: "Dad's socks are being washed. My socks are smaller than his. Why not wash the small ones instead of the big ones? "

Mom: "Dad is busy at work, so it's time for you to do something yourself."

My son washed his socks quickly.

Mom: "You didn't wash it. You should wash like this ... "

Son: "I washed it this time. What to wash next time? "

22. A boy plays at home. His mother's sister came to his house to play with him. The boy asked her, "Aunt, mom and dad are moving up and down in bed at night, and dad is still riding on mom." Why does mother always scream? " Aunt: "They are playing games." Nephew: "Then let's play. I will ride on you, too. Call me and let me listen. "

23. One day, a middle school girl took her brother to take a bus, and some boys from another middle school were also sitting on the bus. When the bus drove to the suburbs, my brother saw two dogs mating. He was too young to understand what was going on, so he asked his sister strangely, "What are those two dogs doing?" Of course my sister knows what she is doing. But I dare not teach bad children to say, just say, "They are fighting." At this time, several boys in another middle school laughed after listening, and the girls stared at them with red faces. At this time, several boys said to the girls, "Look, what are you looking at? You want to fight! "

24. A sanitary towel advertisement said: "No matter how much flow, it can be absorbed evenly". Last summer, the Yangtze River burst its banks. After seeing the difficulty of blocking the embankment, the younger son said, "People nowadays are really stupid and don't know how to use their brains. If they pull the sanitary napkin to the break, the problem will be solved! "

25. The farmer's home is on the roadside. On this day, he saw a cart with grass overturned on the side of the road, and a child stood there crying.

The farmer comforted the child: "Don't worry, come to my house for a drink and a meal first, and then I'll help you get the car up."

The child said, "No, Dad will be unhappy."

"Never mind, he will forgive you."

The child had to go home with the farmer. After dinner, the child was worried again: "I think dad is already angry."

The farmer said, "Don't be afraid. Tell me, where is your father? "

The child whispered, "He is still under the car."

26. "Mom, you don't love me."

"Silly child, mother doesn't love you. Who do you love? Your two mothers love each other. "

"Then why did you give birth to your brother, but not to me?"

27. Mother asked her little daughter what she wanted most for her birthday, and her daughter said loudly, "I want a little brother."

Mom replied, "Mom and Dad are also willing to give birth to a little brother for you, but there is not enough time to prepare a little brother for you before your birthday."

The daughter wondered, "Then why don't you do it like dad's factory?" ? If they have something to catch up with, they will find more people to work overtime. "