Can you tell me a few jokes? No bad jokes. Thanks

A boy has a crush on a girl for a long time. One day in the self-study class, the boy finally got up the courage to write a note to the girl. It read: Actually, I have been paying attention to you for a long time. After a while, the note came back and it said: Please don't tell the teacher, I promise never to eat melon seeds in class again! "

A gentleman was practicing riding a bicycle when a pedestrian came in front of him. He panicked and shouted: 'Stop! Stop!' The pedestrian was stunned and hurriedly stopped. But he was so poor in riding skills that he still Knocked down by a pedestrian. The pedestrian got up and got angry: "You told me to stop! You're aiming for it, right?" Ask a few good sisters to come and help. The store name requirements are euphemistic, close to life, and close to reality. After negotiation, all the sisters unanimously said: "Let's call it 'Daily Necessities'. "

A colleague was having lunch at a ramen restaurant, and a brother next to him shouted: "Waiter, which table did our ramen go to?" "The little girl said very aggrievedly: "Master didn't pull it out, and there's nothing I can do about it! ”

The father asked his son: “Why do you drink so much water?” Son: "Dad, I just ate an apple." Dad: "But what does this have to do with drinking water?" Son: "I forgot to wash the apples just now." "

Once my father and his colleagues went on a business trip to the United States. When they went to the supermarket to buy things, they discussed in Jinan dialect. An American next to him came over and said in standard Jinan dialect: "Are you from Jinan? ! "It turns out that this foreigner is a descendant of Americans who stayed in China during the previous war. His colleague asked him: "How is your English? The foreigner slapped his thigh and said, "English is so damn difficult to learn!" ! ”

Amei is a beautiful female college student who found a job before she graduated.

The boss promised a monthly salary of 8,000, after tax. Everyone is happy for her!

The boss promised a monthly salary of 8,000, after tax. Everyone is happy for her!

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After the first month’s salary was paid, Ami invited her classmates to dinner.

While drinking, Ami suddenly felt guilty and said, “Eight thousand, after bed...”

< p>2. A man could not find a job because he was short!

One day, the man came home and said excitedly to his wife: "I found a job! "

The wife was overjoyed and asked: "Great, what kind of job? "

The man said: "Selling property! The boss said that when I stood in the room, the house looked much bigger! ”

3. Xiaowanzi asked the teacher: “My grandma is eighty years old, can she get pregnant?” "

The teacher said: "No! "

Xiaowanzi asked again: "Then my sister is eighteen, is that okay? "

The teacher said: "Yes! ”

Little Maruko continued to ask: “Then can I?” "

The teacher said: "You can't, you are still young! ! "

At this time, Xiaoxin, who was sitting aside, said: "Look, I said it's okay. ”

4. A man is chatting up a beautiful woman in a bar.

The man asked: “I wonder what kind of man a beautiful woman is more interested in?” "

The beauty was silent for a while and said in a low-key voice: "Big money, big weapons. "

5. After climbing, the plane entered the sea of ??clouds!

At this time, an aunt looked out the window and asked: "Did the plane stop? "

Another aunt replied: "You are so stupid! We are on the wrong plane now. We need to stop here and wait for the plane in front to fly over. Then our plane can fly over. ”