I'm in a bad mood. Any jokes?

1. Who said you can just strike up a conversation with a girl holding a pulse wave on the street? ! . . . Damn, my face is still burning and hurting! ! !

2. Today, I was investigated for drunk driving. A female car owner asked me if using alcohol to disinfect my injuries would count as drunk driving?

I told her for sure that it didn’t count, and asked her where she was hurt. She said she was hurt, but I was speechless...

3. Today at the company, A female colleague put on a smoky eye and asked me to comment.

I said she looked like Sadako, and the girl asked me who Sadako was, and I said she was from a Japanese movie.

The girl blushed, spat at me, and called me a hooligan...

4. One day, in a quiet alley, a girl was walking leisurely. ,suddenly. . .

Robber: Stop, let’s rob!

Sister:. . .

Robber: What about you? Robbery!

The girl suddenly became furious and shouted: Damn, who did you call eldest sister? Tired of living, right?

The robber died.

5. When you like someone, you will like everything about him. I like his concentration when driving a sports car, I like his gentlemanly manner when he puts a diamond necklace on you, I like his domineering attitude when he says "swipe whatever you want", and even his carelessness in typing a few extra zeros when he transfers money to you is cute.