Help me, please give me some jokes.

Today is my birthday. My girlfriend called me early and said she would come home to congratulate me on my birthday that evening and also give me a surprise! Heard this good news! I worked very hard today and got over a dozen clients at once! Return to the company. It was already three o'clock in the afternoon. When I went to the cafeteria, there was only one pitiful dish and one soup left, namely stir-fried three beans (stir-fried soybeans, green beans, and peas with meat) and radish soup. I had no choice but to go to customers all morning, and my stomach was already growling, so I had to order a large plate of stir-fried three beans with meat and a large pot of radish soup, and ate it! Unexpectedly, when I got off work, my stomach felt like the engine of an off-road Jeep! --The violent piston movement began! In an instant, waves of gas rushed out of my body! I hurriedly rushed to a place where no one was around. My stomach hummed softly in embarrassment at first, but it soon turned into a barrage of popping noises! My stomach is so bloated! But at this moment, my girlfriend called and said that she had arrived home and asked me to go home quickly. well! I had no choice but to go home, hoping she wouldn't see me in such a mess! ...

On the way home I made a deliberate effort to fart a lot. We're almost home, my stomach feels a lot better, and I think there won't be any more problems. From a distance, I saw my girlfriend waiting for me by the door. She looked a little excited. She shouted, "My dear, tonight, I have prepared a very wonderful gift for you that will definitely surprise you."

Before entering the door, her girlfriend used a piece of cloth to hold the door My eyes were tightly covered, saying they wanted to give me a surprise! He also led me to sit in the chair in front of the dining table and made me swear not to peek. Suddenly, I felt like farting again. Just at this moment, my girlfriend's cell phone rang. This saved my life! I made an excuse saying it was too messy and asked her to go to another room to answer the phone! But she insisted on not taking off the blindfold, and even made me swear! Then he ran to another room to answer the phone. As soon as she left, I took the opportunity to shift all my weight onto one leg and fart out. The fart was not only loud, but also smelled like rotten eggs. I could barely breathe, so I touched the chair cushion and fanned around hard in an attempt to get rid of the bad smell.

Just when I was feeling better, another fart came again. I raised my legs again and started to put them! It sounded like a revving diesel engine, and the smell was even worse this time. To prevent myself from suffocating, I waved my arms around the chair cushions to fan them, hoping the smell would dissipate as quickly as possible.

Just when everything was about to return to normal, another fart rushed over impatiently. So I stood up, bent over, and pushed my butt back and up! Put it out. This fart was truly top-notch, even the newspaper behind me was blown to the ground...

I listened carefully to the voice of my girlfriend talking in the other room. , because I had to keep my promise not to peek, I didn’t dare to open my blindfold, so I could only fart constantly in the dark, in order to expel all the gas in my stomach quickly without making the room smell worse! I unbuckled my belt, lowered my underwear and trousers down to my lower abdomen, exposed my butt, fumbled to open the balcony door behind me, stretched almost my entire butt out onto the balcony, and started farting like crazy. Come..., ah! Feel much better! After that, I danced around and fanned the room with chair cushions, praying that the stench would dissipate quickly... In this way, within the next ten minutes, I kept farting and fanning Chair cushion, finally, when I heard her say goodbye on the phone, the air in the room and my belly felt better! I quickly tied on my pants, fixed my hair, and began to wait gracefully and with a smile for my dear her to surprise me.

When she approached, I had a satisfied smile on my face, a gentle look. My girlfriend first apologized to me for taking such a long time on the phone, and then asked me if I had ever secretly lifted the cloth.

After I assured her that I was not peeking, my girlfriend removed the cloth covering my eyes and said to me, "What an accident! My girlfriend insisted on me taking them to see you today. They said you were in the photo." You see, the five people sitting at the table are all good sisters from my work, and the six standing on the balcony are my best friends from school. !”

At this time, I was extremely shocked and horrified to find that there were a lot of girls sitting around the dining table opposite me, and there was another group of them standing on the balcony behind me. Came to attend this birthday party that was a surprise to me. Now, each of them looked at me with an indescribable expression on their faces, as if they had discovered Martians...