Jokes about antonyms

I just fell asleep that day and received a text message: I slept in the wrong position and fell asleep again.

There will be a meteor shower tonight. I heard it was a big pig. A big pig will fall from the sky. Too bad I want to sleep. You're gonna be okay. So many people watch you fly!

The survey shows that more than 90% homosexuals use their thumbs to view information. It is too late. Do not change!

There was an old man who lived with an old friend because his wife was going to have a baby. The friend asked why? Answer: "Don't mention it! My daughter-in-law gave birth to a child and squeezed me out. "

Abandoned? Being bullied? Homeless? Don't be sad or discouraged. Even if the whole world dislikes you, at least our state-owned pig farm is your warm home.

The blind and the lame ride together, and the lame watch the road. Suddenly he saw a deep ditch and exclaimed, Gougougou! The blind man turned around and sang: Ole Ole Ole! So they fell into the ditch!

I miss those days very much. You wriggled in front of me and walked down the country road with your head down. When the villagers see you, they all praise you: hey, it's beautiful and clean! Also praised me: what a good boy, such a small grade came out to release pigs!

Once again, your watery eyes looked at you emotionally. I tried to avoid your sight in panic, but you followed me. I know how you feel, so I ran over and shouted, Whose dog is not tied up?

You've been on TV. I saw you. It's really eye-catching and photogenic. You look so handsome, so cute, so confident and so perfect in the advertisement. I told you, you can be a model in any advertisement for pig feed!

I have been by your side, worrying about you again and again. Are you full today? Did you sleep well? Will it be cold late at night? I always knew you couldn't take care of yourself. Every time I walk away, you will jump out of the pigsty.

In a military performance, a shell deviated far away. The soldiers sent to inspect found that the shells landed in the farmland, and you stood in the field, dressed in rags, with dark skin and tears in your eyes, saying, is it worth shelling to steal a cabbage?

Thank you for my trust in you. You are my good friend to me, but you talk about me behind my back! Why didn't you tell me frankly? ! Why did you tell everyone? ! Say I am you. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Idol.

You are very creative. It is your courage to live. Ugliness is not your intention, but God has a little temper. You have to live bravely. Without you, who can foil the beauty of the world?

One day, Liu Hongtao met a foreign guest. He said, I'm Liu Hongtao, and the foreign guest said, I'm Fang Qi!

Not every flower can represent love, but roses can; Not every tree can withstand thirst, but poplar can; Not every pig can read text messages, but you did. Congratulations!

In the vast sea of people, when you receive this sincere blessing, please try your best to hit your head against the wall-see? Countless stars in front of you are my infinite concern!

I wrote your name in the sky, but it was taken away by the wind; I wrote your name on the beach, but it was swept away by the waves; So I wrote your name in every corner of the street. .....................................................................................................................................................................

Dear users, your phone bill balance is less than 0. 1 yuan. Please pay the phone bill in the near future: selling children, women, rice, iron, houses, land and wives. Thank you for your cooperation! China Telecom.

I am an onion, standing in the wind and rain, who wants to touch my soy sauce, fuck his ancestors! I traveled all over the country, drank water behind the toilet, ran over my leg on the train track and kissed a fool. Fuck! Refuse nothing, just miss you!

I have been by your side, worrying about you again and again. Are you full today? Did you sleep well? Will it be cold late at night? I always knew you couldn't take care of yourself. Every time I walk away, you jump out of the pigsty.

"second, he scolded, muduke is in a hurry at seven o'clock?" "Saunders Das is seventh!" "Was it tall?" "The original height!" "The original height is enough!" "I swear, I strongly see it!"

Don't be crazy with me! Easy to die! Don't pretend with me! Easy to get hurt! Beat you up! Nobody! No one-on-one hit! I'll beat you into Zhang Haidi! Or mummify you! Give you some face! Beat you to death

Fall in love! Happy! Spend a lot of money from now on! Get married! Cool! From now on, someone is in charge! Divorced! Free! Sex costs money! Aids! Be silly! Lie in bed and die!