"I don't want you if I cry again!" Whether a child is excellent or not has a lot to do with the attitude of parents.

Just coming out of the supermarket, I saw a child sitting on the ground crying and a snack bag spilled all over the floor.

I want to go and care about it. At this time, the child's mother came out from the side and said angrily to the child, "just cry!" Cry again and I'll leave you here! "

Say that finish, he turned and left. When the child saw his mother leave, he immediately got up and cried and tugged at his mother's clothes.

I saw the mother kick the child over and scold, "Do you want a toy?"

The child immediately stopped crying: "Mom, I don't want it!"

Then she held her mother's leg and watched the child move. Mother said guiltily, "Then don't cry. If you cry again, I really don't want you. "

We watched her pull the child forward and said, "There are so many toys at home, why do you have to?"

"Go back and buy it for you tomorrow."

"Don't cry easily in the future."

. . . . . .

We stood outside the supermarket and were silent for a long time.

There may be many such things in life. When some parents get angry, they will directly ask their children: "I won't want you if I cry again!" " "or" if you don't listen, I'll let you go "and so on.

This way of dealing directly with children always works, but it is a blow to children again and again.

Sometimes parents inadvertently say something that adults may think is just a joke, but the listener has the heart and the child is likely to cause psychological trauma.

A few days ago, my friend came to see us with her daughter. Seeing the child's forehead was red and swollen, I quickly asked my friend what was going on.

A friend said that his daughter was bullied by a little boy in kindergarten. Because two children were fighting for a cake together and no one would let her, the little boy suddenly hit his daughter with his fist.

When my friend rushed to pick up her daughter, I originally planned to communicate with the little boy's parents. Who knows the boy's father heard this, kicked the child to the ground and slapped him.

A friend said that he was so scared that he left with his daughter in his arms, fearing that the little boy would be beaten again.

Sometimes, some children are "bears" because there is a "bear parent" behind them. Because parents always use violence to solve problems, children become more and more violent.

The famous Suhomlinski once said:

Every time you see a child, you see yourself. How you educate your children is how you educate yourself.

Many celebrities in ancient times always said when describing their mothers: Mothers are gentle, virtuous and considerate, motherly and selfless, and mothers in front of children are always strong.

When describing father, someone always says: Father is like a mountain, which is the pillar of the family. Father's love is great, and parents are always the guides for children.

It is this kind of mom and dad who have cultivated one outstanding talent after another. It is this kind of parents that make children dependent on them, and their parents' behaviors and attitudes affect their lives.

Having said that, I remembered a sentence that Jay Chou said: "Without the warmth of my mother like a bright lamp in the dark every day, there would be no me today."

He said that he was despised by his teachers when he was a student, saying that he was the child with the lowest IQ, and even the English teacher called him mentally retarded in front of his mother.

However, instead of criticizing or attacking him, his mother kept encouraging him. She believes that he will shine one day.

I accompany and encourage him tirelessly every day, which has made Jay Chou today. He is called "a musical genius".

It can be seen how important the attitude of parents is to their children.

Don't talk to children with emotions.

Some parents will have such a situation, obviously don't think so, but their temper comes up and they can't control their emotions, so it's too late to say it.

Obviously, I educated my children with confidence, and then I felt guilty that I shouldn't treat my children like this.

Sometimes, it has nothing to do with children, but I just can't control my emotions and want to vent it on children.

And children will feel that their parents are moody and feel terrible.

After a long time, the shadow caused by parents has taken root and sprouted, and the relationship between children and parents has become increasingly alienated. Every move will look at parents' eyes and be forced to mature, thus losing the happiness that childhood should have.

Therefore, parents must control their emotions when facing their children. Even if they are in a bad mood, talk to children calmly. This will not only change their attitude towards you, but also make their temper better and better.

Don't always nag.

The reason why parents nag is that he loves children and is not at ease with them. But for children, it's like saying a spell to the Monkey King. As a result, you are earnestly trying to persuade, but the child goes in one ear and out the other, just like casting pearls before swine.

Children who listen to their parents' nagging will be excluded from their hearts and lose respect for their parents; More often, once his parents start preaching, he will close his heart.

Why bother? Instead of nagging, it is better to give your child more space, tell him something directly in indirect language, or keep silent properly.

Don't think that silent children don't understand. In fact, parents' every move, children will pay attention, but also subconsciously observe carefully.

Don't use the tone of command

Many parents always like to talk to their children in a commanding tone, thinking that their children don't understand anything and must listen to themselves.

"What you want to do", "What you should do" and "Don't listen, right" force children, whether they want to or not, and whether they really think.

If you want your children to be independent, don't force them to order them. It's easy to lack opinions and confuse right and wrong.

Be an "ignorant" parent occasionally.

Children are curious about everything they see. They always ask strange questions. Even if some parents don't understand and can't explain, they will fool their children for face, or scold them directly.

Such behavior is very wrong, and it is easy to dampen children's enthusiasm and desire to explore.

When a child asks you a question, you can pretend that you don't know whether you know it or not. Don't give the child an answer yet. You can say, "Mom and Dad don't know either. Why don't we look through the books and look it up in the dictionary? "

This can increase children's interest and discussion of knowledge, use their brains and improve their intelligence.

Teach children to face failure and honor correctly.

When children encounter failure or difficulties, don't hit them, but encourage and enlighten them: mom and dad believe in you!

Then tell the children that failure is no big deal, and all difficulties and setbacks can be overcome. As long as you take it seriously and review it carefully, you will always succeed. Don't give up easily.

Otherwise, blindly attacking, satirizing and comparing children with others will only make children feel inferior more and more, and they will give up easily when they encounter problems, thus achieving nothing.

When a child is praised or rewarded at school, don't act like "don't win the prize" or "wait until you get the first place in the class", which will easily hurt the child's self-confidence.

As long as children feel honored and praised, parents should praise and recognize them, regardless of their size, and share their happiness with their children.

No one is born a parent. In the process of raising children, there are always unknown difficulties and surprises.

Every child is an angel of his parents. They are not born with everything. They need their parents as guides. Therefore, when treating children, we must be patient and patient, so that children can be more confident and secure on the road of growth.

Respect and understanding, gentleness and patience are the best gifts parents give their children.