Quotations and jokes

Quotations cold joke: the biggest trouble of eating is not that there is nothing to eat, but that a lot of delicious food is placed in front of you, only to find that it can't fit in your stomach, which is very sad. More wonderful jokes are in the joke column, welcome to enjoy!

Quotations and jokes (1) 1. After unremitting efforts, I quit the habit of playing mobile phone before going to bed, but I don't know how long I can last, so I can't stay up all my life.

2. Girlfriend: Condition 1: Gender female.

Condition 2: Can cook. If the second condition is particularly well met, the first condition can be relaxed appropriately.

I hate those who show off their wealth. Your toothpaste is Colgate, your shampoo is Rejoice, and your mobile phone is Nokia. Which one is not a famous brand?

I take a million buses to work every day, and I have maintained long-term and stable cooperative relations with Fortune 500 companies, China Construction Bank, Agricultural Bank of China, China Mobile, PetroChina, State Grid and Wal-Mart. Did you see me show off?

4, it's not a brother or a person, but a nephew is really charming.

I played an honest adventure in a bar and lost miserably. I was bullied by several MM's, so I went to the bathroom door to applaud, and I had to shout loudly: You peed really well, welcome to come again! ?

6. Who can hold me in the palm of his hand like Yosemite, I can let his sons walk around the earth hand in hand!

7. Send a horrible photo and shout to cancel the attention. I didn't hack you when you took a selfie.

Quotations and jokes (2) 1. The friendship between pure men and women is nothing more than two situations: girls are men and boys are women.

2. A female friend buckled her signature: I would rather be a diaosi goddess than a sperm storage basin of the government.

3. How to describe a man who has experienced plastic surgery and transsexuality? I think,? Naughty? These four words are perfect.

4. Can virgins sell money? My girlfriend is pregnant and needs money badly!

I planted a pot of chrysanthemum carefully, which is so beautiful that I want to take it home when I go home. It was confiscated when the plane passed the security check, on the grounds that it was impossible to carry explosives on the plane.

6、? The goddess and I are completely hopeless! ?

? What's the matter?

? Today, I confessed to the goddess, and she asked me to take a piss and take care of myself! ?

? Oh? She must be joking with you. There is still a chance. . . ?

? No Later, when I took pictures, I accidentally peed on her feet. . . ?

7. Dialogue between men and women in tall buildings:

Man: Come and play?

W: Why?

Man: I gave that guy a hard push and pushed him onto your balcony. You climb along the pole!

Woman: You are such a fool. I'm not being cheated. How can I come back when I'm done?

According to the survey, 14% of college students are addicted to the internet, and the remaining 86% refuse to cooperate with the survey because they are busy surfing the internet.

2, the desert is lonely and straight, and the long river falls in yen. I am very touched. It would have been better if the dollar had been dropped.

Mom said that women must save face. If someone hits you on the left face, you can lengthen your right face and let him hit you, otherwise the foundation will be different.

As a bloody youth, I think my life is a life full of reference value.

I have a serious cleanliness addiction, but my laziness cured my cleanliness addiction.

6. I saw this sentence in a MM space: I am really a wonderful skeleton! Lose weight for more than three years, you should lose weight first! Fat face first! Fuck you!

7. Ordinary youth: The price is too high now! Gao Fushuai: There are too few naive girls now! Diaosi: The quality of paper now is too poor!

8. What is quality? One of the ATM machines in the Bank of Scotland broke down, and more banknotes were spit out when withdrawing money, so the local people lined up in an orderly way to prepare for withdrawing money. . .

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