Why do I always feel that I am the laughing stock in their eyes, that I am so out of place with everyone, and that I will do something shameful from time to time?

Since you ask why, it means that you were born with a different personality or grew up in a special environment, but what does it matter? It has nothing to do with a person's quality and ability. Abide by my duty, cherish my good nature, take an active part in the collective activities of self-righteousness, be diligent and sincere. How nice this is. As for those who laugh at you, hehe, who cares?