Who can tell me a few jokes at most?

1. A dying man made a will to his wife: "When I die, I hope you can marry our neighbor Mr. Ed." The wife was puzzled, so she explained, "Two years ago, the cow that this bastard sold me couldn't milk at all. Now I want him to feel cheated!" Dad told the fish that he was often hungry when he was a child. Fish and fish had tears in their eyes: "Well, Dad, did you come to our house because you didn't have food?" There is a train in a mountainous area, and farmers come to watch it along the way. A female passenger on the bus came for a holiday, but after correcting the paper, she flew out of the window to face a farmer. The farmer took it down and said, "Wow! ! ! The train is fast, and a piece of paper can make my nose bleed. My three-year-old daughter often says to me, "Dad, don't you understand what you are planting?" I said, "Yes, you reap what you sow." The daughter said happily, "then I grow jelly. I want a lot of jelly." "5. The two fathers and sons are violent and never let people down. One day, the father ordered his son to buy meat to entertain guests. When I came back, I met a man who refused to give way at the city gate. After standing for a long time, my father ran over: "Good son, you take the meat first, and I will stand next to you!"! "A joke may be just a phrase, a short story or a series of words that make the speaker and communicator feel funny or have a sense of humor. The difference between action jokes and oral jokes is that action jokes affect people's vision and make people feel funny. 6. One day, there were many people on a bus. When the conductor was buying a ticket, suddenly a person farted, and everyone on the bus felt uncomfortable breathing and scolded the uncivilized man. At this moment, the conductor shouted, "Who didn't buy a ticket?" A passenger replied, "The man who farted just now didn't buy a ticket!" " "Then a man stood up and shouted," Who said I didn't buy a ticket! " "7. Mom told Xiao Shuang to get up:" Get up quickly! The rooster has crowed several times! " Xiao Shuang said, "What does cock crow have to do with me? I am not a hen! "To give a few examples: 1 Bush visited a nursing home one day, and Bush decided to go to a local nursing home in Washington. The president went in from the lobby of the nursing home, and a little old man came face to face, who didn't seem to notice him. Not too happy, Bush turned to catch up with the little old man and asked, "Do you know me? The little old man looked at Bush and said, "I don't know you." You can go to the nursing station and they will tell you who it is. Lawyer and pickpocket asked: What's the difference between a lawyer and a pickpocket? A: Once you are dead, pickpockets will stop staring at you. What's the difference between chance and opportunity Teacher: ~ ~, what's the difference between chance and opportunity? ~ ~ ~ Student: ~ ~ The score of opportunity in the composition is higher than that of chance ~~~ 4 Your family is really poor. I just stepped out a cigarette and entered your house when your father shouted, "Hey, who turned off the heating?" Idiot, this is not for him. An old lady was walking on the road, a pigeon flew by, and a pool of pigeon droppings fell on her head. The old lady said, "Quick, get a piece of toilet paper." "Why? Now he is at least half a kilometer away from us. " 6 childbirth A little boy has to finish the homework left by the teacher and write a composition about "childbirth". He asked his mother, "How was I born?" Mother said a little uneasily, "dear, our ancestors brought you to us." "Oh, then how were you and dad born?" "Well, our ancestors gave birth to us." "Well, how were grandparents born?" "Well, dear, they are also Mr. Zu's." The little boy seems to understand. A few days later, the little boy handed in his composition. The teacher looked at it and couldn't understand the first sentence. "This composition is not easy to write, because none of our three generations was born."

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