How to communicate with the conflict between the concept of bringing children to the elderly

How to communicate with the concept conflict of the elderly with children

How to communicate with the concept conflict of the elderly with children? Now the times have changed, and the way of bringing children is becoming more and more exquisite. The way of bringing children now is very different from before. Under different circumstances, if there are elderly people at home, it is easy to conflict. Below I will teach you how to communicate with the concept conflict of the elderly with children. How to communicate with the old people in conflict with the concept of caring for children 1

1. Don't communicate on the spot < P > When you put forward the opposite opinion to the old people, the timing is very important if you want the old people and children to accept it.

mistakes don't need to be pointed out immediately. When the old people do something to their children that you think is inappropriate, don't stop it immediately, which will make them feel very uncomfortable.

don't stop it in front of the children. For a child, when two adults disagree, he will definitely choose the one that is beneficial to him.

The proper way is to find a suitable opportunity to talk to the old man calmly after the incident.

2. Communication without emotions

Communication with the elderly is the most taboo.

Parents should be aware of their emotional changes in time, let go of their emotions first, and then communicate. And when communicating, be calm, objective and matter-of-fact, and don't be serious, turn over old scores and generalize.

Although some practices of the elderly will bring potential long-term harm to children, such as watching too much TV will affect their eyesight and eating too much junk food will be harmful to their health. But these few minutes, this bite, are not enough.

The above two points are the core premise of communicating with the elderly. Only by grasping these two points can the following skills be effectively used.

3. Find the needs of the elderly

How to find the needs? When you don't have any emotions about the inappropriate practices of the elderly, you can often see their real needs.

Let's take the problem of children watching TV as an example:

The cartoon Bear Haunted is violent and not suitable for children. But the old man still lets the children watch it at 6 o'clock every night on time. The real need of the elderly here is to let the children sit and eat well and not run around.

Knowing the real needs of the elderly, parents will know that the problem to be solved is not watching TV, but how to make children sit and eat.

4. Find the motivation to make the old people change

The best way to make the old people change is to let them think from the heart that they need to change.

Like the problem of feeding the elderly, if parents just say "You can't feed him all the time, he should learn to eat by himself" every time, it's totally unconvincing.

explain the stakes: if children can't finish their meals by themselves within a certain period of time, they will starve after going to kindergarten, and may be laughed at or excluded by teachers and other children. That said, the elderly who care about their children will definitely pay attention to it.

5. Give proper space and don't interfere

I believe many parents have this experience. When a child cries, grandma/grandma comes to coax and blames her parents for not doing well. Then the scene became more chaotic.

We hope that the elderly will not interfere with our children, and the elderly sometimes need our non-intervention.

At an appropriate time, parents also bite their teeth, hold back their love and anxiety, and give the elderly space and opportunities to deal with their children's problems alone.

Non-intervention conveys trust. Parents have done it, and the elderly may be able to do it.

6. Express needs and requests positively, and less express no and restrictions

If all parents say to the elderly all day is "this is not right" and "that is not allowed", what the elderly receive is complaints and accusations. This is absolutely unacceptable to their experienced mentality and parents' mentality.

Actually, it's just a question of words.

If you change your needs and expectations into what you can do and eat, you are transmitting knowledge and telling methods, which will be easier for the elderly to accept and implement.

7. Express more recognition and praise

"She (the old man) says she is tired every day, so I say find an aunt. She strongly disagreed and got angry. I am not good for her. "

Old people sometimes complain, not necessarily to solve problems, but to get praise and recognition. Say more words of gratitude and care for the elderly, so that they can lay down their defenses and build alliances with their parents. At this time, it will be easier for the elderly to make some changes.

But one thing, praise for the old people must be from the heart. Your "insincerity" is true to them, but it will lead to more hostility.

8. If you have done it yourself, ask the elderly to do it again

Sometimes children cry, and parents can't use the theory in the book to resolve their children's emotions, but they expect the elderly to abandon the old ideas and deal with them scientifically.

it's a little too demanding, isn't it?

Only when you do it yourself can you be the most convincing and let the elderly learn.

9. Find the right ways and people to influence the elderly

Most young parents have no sense of authority in the eyes of the elderly. If they want to influence the elderly to change, they need to find the right people and methods.

Old people who love watching news often show them some news or authoritative news about child rearing on TV or on the Internet. For example, which foods are unhealthy, and the content of so-and-so is beyond the standard.

Old people who love learning are recommended to read some books, or encouraged to attend some public welfare lectures, which can not only adjust their lives, but also enrich their knowledge. How to communicate with the conflict between the concept of caring for children and the elderly? 2

1. Mutual understanding is the first principle < P > The relationship between people is mutual. You can't really understand each other, and you can never be friends. The same is true with your mother-in-law. For example, the elderly often spoil their children. First of all, we should know that it is wrong for the elderly to spoil their children, but they are good at first, so we should not start to blame them.

Therefore, we should understand the elderly and patiently tell them what harm doting on children will bring to children. I believe that after listening to the harm to children, the elderly will be willing to correct the way of loving children. After all, the love of the elderly is also for the future of children.

2. "Teach" parenting knowledge to the elderly

The elderly also have their own set of methods in parenting. After all, they have been there before, but the parenting methods of the elderly are too old. Therefore, we should "teach" the scientific parenting methods to the elderly at the right time, and never "play hardball" with the elderly, which will only be counterproductive.

Now is the Internet age. We can share some parenting videos or articles with the elderly, and gradually infiltrate scientific parenting methods into their hearts, so as to avoid conflicts with the elderly, and the elderly can slowly change their old parenting methods in videos or articles.

3. Don't try to blame the old man, but give a reasonable plan

When the old man makes inappropriate behavior, we try to accuse the old man of doing something wrong, which will only make the old man feel that he is so old and resented by the accusations of the younger generation, so even if he knows that his behavior is wrong, he will argue irrationally to save face.

Therefore, we should give the old people a plan that can replace the wrong behavior, such as the old people who are afraid of scalding their children and sucking the nipple to try the temperature. We can let them drop milk on their wrists to measure the temperature, or use a kettle with temperature to make milk for their children, so that the old people will know that they can let their children drink milk powder with moderate temperature without trying it with their mouths.