The boy in pink.

It's not that the boy in pink grows up,

it's that the boy only wears pink when he grows up.

Men's wear is on the second floor of that store. Just halfway through the escalator, he immediately turned to his friend and said, "I took a fancy to that dress." My friend also smiled. "You can see it from so far away. Haha." He thought to himself, yeah, why did he like it after only one look?

But it's not so strange to calm down and think about it. Isn't that sweater light pink? On the Saturday night when he bought clothes, it seems that he didn't go to bed until two o'clock at night because of the pink dress.

I don't even dare to admit that it's me. After all, such an operation doesn't look like what I would do.

I've never seen anything other than black, white and gray before, especially before I went to college, and I still do. So that this all-pink sweater has caused many topics, and a circle of friends has been sent. Everyone will say something after reading it. One of the most common sentences is: you don't deserve it.

Everyone says, including me, that only boys with fair skin, delicate and handsome face, tall figure and good image and temperament can hold pink. As for me, it seems that I never deserve it.

because I bought that dress that night, I was actually fidgeting and tossing and turning when I slept. I couldn't figure out why I bought pink clothes, but I knew I shouldn't wear pink.

I tried it on after I bought it, but I took it off for two hours before taking a shower and threw it into the washing machine. When I bought other new clothes, I just tried them on and took them off. I think I went a little too far, for that pink sweater.

It's just a dress, there's no need to be so serious, but after thinking about it, I feel that it's not just the pink dress that reflects the potential influencing factors, which is the root cause of disturbing the mood. It seems that more is the "I don't deserve it", which is too scratching.

in fact, I also understand, don't be a hindrance to others, and don't wear pink if you have nothing to do.

I remember that after that weekend, I chatted with my colleagues on the way from work one night and told her excitedly that I bought a pink sweater. I was a little naughty and naive. Then I don't know how to talk about the supporting color. I said that the stars in Jason are blue starry sky together, and she asked Jay Chou fans how to explain the pink color.

Within two days, I saw the topic # Jay Chou is the first person to control pink sneakers # appearing on the hot search list: Jay Chou showed his combat boots, and pink sneakers were very eye-catching. Netizens said that Jay Chou not only wore pink clothes, but also wore pink shoes. It seems that it is a well-known thing for Jay Chou to drink milk tea and wear pink. I'm the father of two children, and I'm still like a child.

maybe, in another ten years, I won't even have the courage to look at pink clothes. In another 18 years, it is even more impossible to have the trend of Jay Chou at the age of forty. If it weren't for the big coffee, I guess I wouldn't be able to get through that hurdle in my heart.

After all, I am not tall and my skin is black. Not to mention that people don't have the courage when they reach middle age, and even now they are at the age when young people should be presumptuous, and they don't have enough courage to challenge some impossibilities.

To tell you a joke, since I was born, I have been doomed to live with two big problems that have plagued me from childhood to life. It's not that I am obsessed with it, but that only when I am experiencing it can I understand how realistic the fact is.

I remember my aunt told me that before I was born, my parents quarreled, and then my mother went down to rent a house in the old street of the town and gave birth to me. My mother said that at that time, Grandfather's family was rich and supportive, and she was especially good at doing business. The tofu in the town was the first thing she shipped back from the city to sell. I think my mother is expressing the meaning that when she was young, she was "tofu is beautiful".

Although tofu is white, so is my mother, and my mother loves tofu, it still can't change the fact that her eldest son has dark skin. My elder sister-in-law also said that when I was near the full moon, she would take my father to pick up my mother and me home. But at the moment she saw me, she refused to take me home because I was too dark to reach out and hug. Although I really want to laugh, I can find that what she said is that I don't want to hug, so I can't laugh at all.

My mother explained to me that it was because I was born in spring, when the sun was warm. She wanted to bask in the sun when she was confined, so she held me in the sun under the eaves of the old house in the old street, euphemistically calling it sunbathing, which was good for my health. So when the moon is full, it becomes the kind of baby that my aunt doesn't want to hug.

well, my mother loves me, that's right. Can the skin not be tanned if you get too much ultraviolet rays? People go to the beach to bask in the sun every day in pursuit of bronzing. I got bronzed less than a month after I was born, and I have this complexion for decades more than others.

But after all, it has become a joke now. Although I am reluctant to accept it, I am lucky to live an optimistic attitude. After all, my family loves me. My elder sister-in-law finally took me home, and I haven't put it down easily since I took it home.

I was hospitalized in junior high school. She secretly bought me something that the doctor didn't allow me to eat, but I really wanted to eat. After I got sick, only she supported me who dropped out of school but didn't want to reread. After graduating from college, she dreamed that I would take my girlfriend home at night and worry about everything.

You know, my elder sister-in-law is one of the best powerful characters at home and even in the village, but she is always extremely gentle here.

as for the problem of being short, there is no explanation yet. My parents are not short, and my brother will not be short, so I can only understand that I am a genetic mutation, which is a bit miserable, but there is nothing I can do to change it. In addition to endure to accept this fact, also have to endure to bury the pain in my heart.

this pain is a lifetime. This idea is a burden.

It's like, it's the psychological burden that has crushed my yearning for feelings. There is only one reason, psychological burden, which can explain why I didn't persist. She is good-looking, and her height, figure and skin are not bad. It's me, and I've been worried that I'm not good enough for her since before we got together.

it's the same reason that I don't deserve to wear a pink sweater.

two months have passed, and I occasionally wear a pink sweater at the bottom, so I don't intend to add any more trouble to everyone. More than a year has passed, and I occasionally go to see the memories that have survived. Letting her go may be the best thing I can do, which will not delay her decision.

that is to say, I talk about finding someone else, but I'm really scared and don't want to miss anyone.

I have experienced it since I was a child, and it is not an exaggeration to say that I am used to it.

Pink should make people who like sweetness feel happy. Obviously, these people want to be happy. For some sweet people, pink is a color they choose when they are happy.

unfortunately, since I was a child, I only like spicy food, so my temper is extreme, and I can't be sweet, and I can't make people around me happy. Not even my mother. I don't have to make her happy. I just need to be careful not to make her angry.

When I was a child, I never thought about pink when I bought clothes. To put it bluntly, I never thought about colors other than black, white and gray, even white clothes. So I insist that shoes must be white, so I only buy white shoes now.

I think my mother is really wronged and it's really hard to make. After all, my clothes are really hard to buy. What clothes are given to me to wear, and there is no shelf to hold them up.

What impressed me the most was what my mother said to me the most. I want to buy bigger clothes. Children grow up fast, and if they buy small clothes, they will wear them for a while. It turns out that she was wrong. I don't want to wear many clothes after wearing them for less than a week, and some even put them in the cupboard only once or twice. After a year or two, I felt that I could wear it and wanted to take it out, only to find that I was no longer old enough to wear those clothes, and those styles were only suitable for children of that age. When you are older, you are no longer qualified to wear cute clothes.

When I was a child, I bought clothes, which made my mother angry. I failed my mother's expectations. There are a lot of clothes for my junior high school and high school, and my brother can wear them in primary school. Do you know how big the word "shame" is on my face? My mother no longer buys clothes for my brother in a larger size. Even if the clothes that fit her don't last long, she would rather buy the most suitable one, at that time when she can wear that dress.

and my brother, who can wear anything, only wears black shoes.

In junior high school, my dad occasionally took me to buy clothes, and then he caught those who kept wearing them. It's not how appropriate the clothes are. It's just to give my mother a step down. It seems that what I can do at that age doesn't make my mother sad. That is to say, let my father buy me some clothes, no matter how ugly, it's better than my mother's embarrassment.

after all, dad bought it, which has nothing to do with her, so you don't have to blame yourself. But then I found out that it seemed to hurt my mother's heart even more, making her think that I only like the clothes my father bought, and when she bought me clothes, she always made her sulk because I couldn't wear the beautiful clothes she liked.

In high school, wearing only school uniforms really saved a big headache. My mother has never stopped thinking about buying clothes for me. Every time she comes home on a monthly holiday, she wants to buy me something, pointing to the one that suits me, but she often ends up wearing nothing.

once in a while, I will cherish something that is suitable and both of us like. After all, it is rare to meet clothes that can be worn. I will also praise my mother for her good taste, just to avoid making her sad because I can't wear most clothes.

When I went to college, I missed the scenes where my mother bought me clothes. When I grew up, I couldn't make up for my childhood regrets. I don't want to make my mother angry because I don't live up to expectations, and I don't want her to blame herself for not being able to buy me suitable clothes. Later, I learned to please her and make her feel that she was still needed by me. I said that Wuhan can't buy autumn trousers, and she will buy me several pairs to prepare; I said I wanted to pad the insoles that she had tied, and she even tied ten pairs at a time ... < P > I'm sorry for my mother.

even so, my mother never disliked the fact that her son failed to live up to expectations.

only she doesn't think I'm short and dark. Only she will always stick to the spirit of Ah Q and tell me that you are not short or black at all.

but it's that silly cuteness that makes people feel more distressed. I will find it difficult to live with such a psychological burden, but she should be the one who lives with the public opinion and guidance of many people.

the night I bought a pink sweater, I heard her turn her head on the video phone and say to my brother, look, your brother bought himself a pink dress to wear now. Later, she whispered, your brother should have a lot of clothes to wear now, right? That's good. She may think that the mobile phone I bought for her is not very good, and the radio reception effect may not be as good as she thought, so she thinks I can't hear it.

I don't know when she will be able to let go of her regret.

Just like I will never know when I will accept the fact that I am "unworthy". Maybe I have accepted it, maybe I can't accept it in my life.

we'll see.

Although I don't really want to live a humble life with inferiority complex, I have been like this for so many years, and I have grown up in a blink of an eye, and even graduated from college and become a social person. No more shelter, no more room for retreat, no more opportunities for trial and error.

it was not until I entered high school that I seemed to open the door to another world. Every Saturday in the first year of senior high school, since they were willing to take me to the Xiaobeimen River for a drink from the beginning, I gradually felt that I was being accepted, accepted and invited to integrate into the normal group.

Yes, normal people, not people who are abandoned and can't help themselves. Taking me with me is no longer a burden, and I am not afraid of being laughed at by others. Although I am still a child in their eyes, at least at that time I began to feel the atmosphere of making friends on an equal footing.

Although I was taken care of everywhere, it was from that time that I began to understand the meaning of the word friend and began to pay attention to the weight of friends in my heart. It's just that it's not always so smooth. After the placement of arts and sciences, it has changed to another level. The circle that can accept me in new classes and new students has become smaller, and I have gradually accepted the reality that not all circles can get in.

I gradually have a fixed circle, and I am willing to speak slowly, so I am no longer so closed. I didn't know that they actually had a group playing games until I graduated from high school, but basically all the boys who played well were in the group. I remember my friends told me that I didn't drag me into the group without playing games, so I just called out when I played games, and it was nothing to go in, so there was no need.

I try not to think about it any more. After all, my friends who have been in contact with me have been in contact. I thought I wouldn't really care anymore, and some people really haven't contacted again.

I didn't know what it was like until I graduated from college and was dragged into the game "Open Black Group" of my college classmates. Even if I just watched them shout that everyone was free to play games and talk about games, I would feel real and feel that I was really accommodated.

I can't say the feeling of being included, but I just need it.

So along the way of growing up, although I have been burdened with psychological burden, I am also trying my best to maintain and strive for these people who stay, and learn to be grateful and return. As I've been saying, thank you for meeting all the gentle people along the way.

Being treated with courtesy, caring for emotions, caring for face, and being cared for in a measured way are all called gentleness.

Although these unchangeable facts have given me a life different from ordinary people, at least in terms of ideological burden, I am burdened, but I have also grown up healthily. As for the future, let's take it one step at a time. Since we have reached the age where we can support ourselves, we should cherish what we have left behind.

I know everything I need to know. I have to bear the burden. If I can't live a normal life, I should at least live like a normal person.

In any case, the boy who grew up with a heavy burden is an adult, and he is not so distorted. He is still normal, and he has learned to please himself. He dares to buy clothes he wants to wear and is willing to buy birthday gifts for himself.

thank yourself for these 22 years.

recommended |? A hundred diaries of renting a house after graduation.

Illustration | Little Mikey

Date |? 219311

# I really want to be nice to you #

I had a dream at night,

I woke up in the morning to realize it.

Zhicheng is a good friend who likes to record stories on your mobile phone,

and this is where he dreams seriously.

dream together, please advise.