What are some suffocating jokes?

1. My wife likes fruit very much. Once I walked home with my wife, she had to buy a few Jin of apples to take home. I said not to buy it. There are oranges at home. The wife replied, "Can oranges taste like apples?" ? ! "

Walking down the street with my classmates, I found someone dropped a dime on the ground. My classmate picked it up and I laughed at him and said, "Is it shameful to lose it?" You also pick up a dime. "The classmate replied," This dime for tetramine will poison you several times! "

3. I once chatted with a big brother in the company. Speaking of singers, I asked him, "You should know Jay Chou, right?" Eldest brother shook his head and said, "I don't know him very well. I haven't had a drink with him. " I am speechless.

4. When I was at school, I borrowed money from my roommate's younger brother once when my living expenses were overspent. My classmate didn't say whether to borrow it or not. He smiled at me and asked me, "Do you think my face is clean?" I looked at it carefully and said, "It's not dirty, it's quite clean." The classmate smiled and said, "My pocket is cleaner than my face."

5. In a ball game, Manchester United won a game, and my wife said happily, "Why? As for it? " I said, "I'm excited!" My wife looked at me blankly and said, "When did you change your surname?"

6. There are two garbage collectors in my community. They often throw garbage bags when they go out in the morning because they are fighting for waste. Make sure that one of them will meet you before you go to the trash can and take the garbage bag from you. Even if you have an unfinished beverage bottle in your hand, he will grab it and ask you, "Do you want it?" . Very annoying. Once my neighbor and I passed by their construction site, a man came up and pointed to the unfinished coke bottle in his neighbor's hand and asked, "Do you want it?" . The neighbor glared and said, "Your face? ! "That guy left in despair.

7. My cousin is lovelorn, and my wife and I went to her house to see her. She's losing her temper, tearing papers and throwing scraps of paper. I said, "No, the paper didn't attract you. Why tear it off? " What a waste! "My cousin gave me a white look and said," Do you have your shares? ! "

Chatting with good friends, from the past to the present, I regret that I didn't study hard and create a good environment for today's work. I sighed: "I must study hard in the next life, and I can't live so mediocre any more!" " "The friend curled his lips and said," Cut! Maybe you will have a dog in your next life. " A word choked me for a long time.

9. At a lesbian party, we found a pair of sandals hanging on her wall at dinner, so we asked about the origin. She said affectionately, "This is what my grandfather wore when he climbed the snowy mountain and crossed the grass. He passed it on to me before he died. " Just as we deeply cherish the memory of this revolutionary of the older generation, a classmate looked up from his rice bowl and said, "Why did he leave it to you? Are your feet the same size? "

10. Once I visited my cousin's house, my 9-year-old nephew was doing a math problem. My cousin next to me said that the child was stupid as hell, but the same question would not be asked in another way. The little nephew said angrily there, "Can you blame me?" ! The gene is not good! ! "

1 1. Actually, my speech is quite choking. There are two cardboard boxes at home, one for vegetables and fruits and the other for meat. Wives can't always tell the difference. She often cuts fruit with a chopping block to cut meat. I criticized her for being unconvinced and said, "What are you afraid of?" ! Wash it every time you use it. "I said," whatever it is, it must be used for something. Why do you want me to buy a spittoon for you every day? ! I promise to be clean! "