Zhuang Zhou's three vulgar novels about trying his wife.

On an outing in Zhuangzi, I saw a young woman fanning the new grave, asked her, said her husband's last words, and remarried when the grave was dry. So, fan it and try to make it dry quickly.

At the end of the Zhou Dynasty, there was a famous man named Zhuang Zhou, a native of the Song Dynasty, who used to be an official in the Zhou Dynasty. He worshipped Li Er, the father of Taoism, as his teacher. Li Er is the Great Sage, born with white hair, and is called Lao Zi.

Zhuang Zhou often sleeps during the day, dreaming that he becomes a butterfly and dances among the flowers and plants in the garden. One day, Zhuang Zhou told the teacher about this dream. Lao Tzu is a great sage. I know Zhuang Zhou's previous life. Tell him. It turns out that Zhuang Zhou's previous life was an epoch-making white butterfly. Because he stole the stamens of the Queen Mother's Flat Peach Garden, he was pecked to death by the bluebird who protected the flowers, and was born into the world after his death, which is now Zhuang Zhou.

Zhuang Zhou was awakened from a dream when he heard the teacher talk about his previous life. So, he began to learn the Tao Te Ching from his teacher and learned the ability of invisibility. After finishing his studies, Zhuang Zhou gave up his official position, bid farewell to Lao Zi and began to travel around the world.

Zhuang Zhou married three wives, the original wife died of illness, the second wife was divorced by him because of his fault, and the third wife was Tian, the niece of the King of Qi. When Zhuang Zhou was studying in the State of Qi, the King of Qi attached great importance to his character and married his niece. Tian is more beautiful than Zhuang Zhou's first two wives, with a good face and charm. Husband and wife treat each other like a duck to water. When Chu Weiwang heard of Zhuang Zhou's name, he sent someone to hire him as the prime minister of Chu with gold satin. Zhuang Zhou did not agree, and returned to Song State with his wife, living in seclusion in Huashan, south of Cao Zhou.

One day, Zhuang Zhou came to the foot of Huashan Mountain and saw a new grave with wet soil. Next to this grave, sat a kannika nimtragol in mourning, holding a fan and fanning the earth in front of the grave.

Zhuang Zhou stepped forward in surprise and asked, "Madam, who is buried in the grave? Why fan the dirt on the grave? There must be a reason? "

The little daughter-in-law didn't stand up, but kept fanning her and replied, "My husband is buried in the grave, but unfortunately he died and was buried here. He was so devoted to me before his death that he couldn't give up the mutual affection between husband and wife when he died, so he left a last word saying that he would let me remarry freely until the soil on his grave dried up. The grave is fresh, how can it be done at once? So I fanned it with a fan. "

It's really shameful to laugh at thousands of people while listening.

Zhuang Zhou thought to himself, "This woman is really impatient! She also said that when her husband is alive, husband and wife love each other! If couples don't love each other, what will they do? " He said to her, "madam, do you want the new soil to dry immediately?" It's easy. I am willing to fan the wind for you. "

Hearing this, the kannika nimtragol immediately stood up, bowed deeply to Zhuang Zhou and said, "Thank you!" " Say that finish, pass the fan to Zhuang Zhou. Zhuang Zhou used magic to fan the top of the tomb, and the soil on the tomb dried up immediately.

Kannika nimtragol immediately beamed, tore off a silver hairpin from her head and gave it to Zhuang Zhou together with the fan as a thank you. Zhuang Zhou returned the silver hairpin to her and only took the fan. Kannika nimtragol did not refuse, took back the silver hairpin and left happily.

Gloomily, Zhuang Zhou went home with a fan and kept sighing.

It's not that enemies don't get together,

When will the enemy get together?

If I had known the cruelty after death,

Hook the love before death.

When Tian heard that Zhuang Zhou had been sighing, he asked, "Why are you sighing? Where did this fan come from? "

Therefore, Zhuang Zhou told the story of meeting the fans in front of the grave of Kannika nimtragol. Then he raised the fan in his hand and said, "This is the fan that Kannika nimtragol holds for the grave fan. Because I helped her do new soil, she gave it to me as a thank-you gift. Tian was also very angry after listening: "such a fickle wife is rare in the world!" "

Zhuang Zhou smiled and said, "Don't talk empty words. If I die unfortunately, can you not remarry for three or five years? " Tian solemnly said, "Loyal ministers don't serve two masters, while noble women don't serve two husbands. Who has ever seen a woman with a good family drink two teas and sleep in two beds? If it is unfortunate that it is my turn to be widowed, let alone three or five years, I will never remarry!

Zhuang Zhao Zhou shook his head: "It's hard to say, it's hard to say! Zhuangzi way:

Everyone said that he was deeply grateful before his death, and everyone wanted to fan his grave after his death.

It is difficult to draw a dragon and a tiger, but it is difficult to draw a bone.

Tian was furious and scolded: "A woman with ambition is not as good as a man. Just like you, heartless and careless, one wife died and found another. I left one wife and married another, feeling that others are just like you. Our women's family is to be loyal to their own lives!

Say that finish, grabbed the gun fan from Zhuang Zhou and tore it into pieces. Zhuang Zhou sighed: "Don't be angry, I hope you can live up to expectations like this!

A few days later, Zhuang Zhou suddenly fell ill and became heavier and heavier. Tian stayed by his bed, crying.

Zhuang Zhou said to her, "I am very ill. I won't be long." It's a pity that you tore the fan that day. If you leave it now, you can just fan the grave!

Tian said tearfully, "Don't worry! I know I will be loyal to my book. If you don't believe me, I am willing to die in front of you and show my heart! Zhuang Zhou said, "After listening to your words, I will die with my eyes closed. Say that finish, dead.

Tian burst into tears, and then found someone to prepare the shroud coffin and arrange the funeral. The villagers in front of the mountain and behind the mountain, knowing that Zhuang Zhou was a celebrity, all came to offer their condolences.

On the seventh day after Zhuang Zhou's death, a young scholar suddenly came. This man is extremely handsome, wearing purple clothes and a black hat. He is an old servant. He claimed to be the grandson of Chu, and made an agreement with Zhuang Zhou to worship Zhuang Zhou as a teacher. So, I came to see you today.

King Sun of Chu saw that Zhuang Zhou had passed away and even said, "What a pity! He was busy taking off his colorful clothes and told the old servant to take out plain clothes from the parcel and put them on.

Then, bowing to the tomb of Zhuang Zhou, he said, "Disciple can't meet you and advise you, and I would like to mourn for my teacher for a hundred days. Then he bowed, stood up with tears in his eyes and asked the old servant to invite Tian to see him.

Tian Gang refused to see him, and the grandson of the king of Chu was invited and had to come out to see him. When she saw that the grandson of the king of Chu was beautiful, she secretly fell in love with him.

King Sun of Chu said to her, "I want to borrow your house for one hundred days. On the one hand, I will accept the teacher's funeral, on the other hand, I want to borrow the books left by the teacher. "

Tian was very happy and said with a smile, "It doesn't matter how long this friendship lasts." So, immediately prepare dining tables and entertain the king of Chu and his grandson. After dinner, Tian took out Zhuang Zhou's "The True Classics of the South China" and Lao Zi's "The Classic of Tao Te Ching" and gave them to Chu's grandson. He thanked him again and again.

In the middle of the thatched cottage stood the ghost of Zhuang Zhou, while King Chu and Sun Chu stayed in the left room. Tian used crying as an excuse to come to the left room to talk to Wang Sun every day. The two are getting to know each other more and more, and it is difficult to control themselves.

In a blink of an eye, King Chu Sun has been here for half a month. Tian quietly called the old servant of King Sun of Chu and asked, "Is your master married?"

The old servant replied, "No marriage."

Tian asked again, "What kind of woman does your grandfather find to marry?"

The old servant said, "He once told me that if he met a woman as beautiful as his wife, he would be satisfied."

Hearing this, Tian's eyes lit up: "I beg you to be a matchmaker. If Wang Sun doesn't mind, I would rather marry him. "

The old servant shook his head, embarrassed: "He once told me that although he loves his wife, he is afraid of being gossiped because of the love between teachers and students."

Tian Mianlu was indifferent: "Your master and my husband only agreed verbally, not teachers and students. It's remote here. Who will gossip? " Your dad has to make this happen! "The old servant promised her.

The next day, Tian called the old servant into the house again and asked him what the result was. The old servant shook his head and said, "No! No! "

Tian was very surprised and asked, "Why not? Didn't you make it clear to Wang Sun yesterday? "

The old servant replied, "I told you, but what my master said is also reasonable." He said his wife's appearance, of course, there is nothing to say. If you don't learn from your master, you don't need your master and apprentice. But three things are not easy to do! So you can't get married. "

Tian asked quickly, "What are these three?"

The old servant slowly explained the reason: "My master said,' Now there is a coffin in the thatched cottage, but I can't bear to pay homage to my wife. Secondly, Mr. and Mrs. Zhuang are loving couples, and he is a celebrity with both ability and political integrity. I am not as knowledgeable as him, for fear that my wife will look down on him. Third, my luggage is still in the back, and I haven't arrived here yet, so I don't have the money for the wedding banquet. I can't get married because of these three things. " "

Hearing this, Tian was relieved: "So it's these three things! Don't even have to worry. The coffin hasn't taken root yet, and there is a broken house behind the house. Move it in. Second, where is my husband a celebrity with both ability and political integrity? My wife and I divorced because I couldn't keep my house.

Chu Weiwang only listened to his hollow reputation, so he was hired as prime minister. He knew he was incompetent and fled here. Last month, he walked alone at the foot of the mountain. When he met a widow, he molested her and took her fan. Then he took the fan home for me to tear.

A few days before he died, we had a quarrel. What love is there? Your master is different, young and eager to learn, and his future is limitless! The third thing is easy to solve. I will marry him myself. Who needs a dowry? This is 220 taels of silver I saved privately to make new clothes for your master. Say it again, Wang Sun will marry the bride tonight if he wants. "

The old servant took her twenty taels of silver and went back to tell his master that the king of Chu and his grandson had to agree to get married. The old servant told abel tamata the news. As soon as she heard this, she took off her mourning clothes and put on a set of colorful clothes. She asked the old servant to find the villagers nearby and let them carry Zhuang Zhou's spiritual pivot behind the broken house.

That night, the thatched cottage was brightly lit. After meeting the bride, they walked hand in hand to the bridal chamber.

Just a few steps later, the king of Chu suddenly fell to the ground, covering his chest with his hands, and screaming like a knife. Tian quickly asked, "What's wrong with you?" Wang Sun was speechless with pain and was dying.

The old servant was very anxious and told Tian, "This is the old problem of the young master. Once a year or two, there is no cure. It must be swallowed with a living brain and hot wine to be effective.

In the past, every time the king of Chu sent someone to take out the brain marrow of the condemned man. Now in the mountains, where is the death row? He is hopeless! "

Tian asked without thinking, "I wonder if the brain marrow of the dead can be used?" The old servant replied, "Doctor Tai said that people who have been dead for less than forty-nine days can use it."

Hearing this, Tian breathed a sigh of relief: "My husband has only been dead for more than 20 days. Why not open the coffin and take its brain? "

So Tian asked the old servant to wait on Wang Sun, and found himself an axe for chopping wood.

I came to the broken house in the back with an axe in one hand and a lantern in the other. Tian put the lantern on the coffin lid, raised his axe and chopped at the coffin. Only one axe split a piece of wood, and another axe went down, and the coffin lid cracked.

As soon as the coffin was opened, Zhuang Zhou sighed and sat up from the coffin. Tian was so scared that his legs trembled and his axe fell to the ground. Zhuang Zhou said, "Madam, give me a hand! Tian had no choice but to help him out of the coffin.

Zhuang Zhou was carrying a lantern, and Tian followed him forward. Tian knew there was someone in the room, so he was afraid. As soon as I entered the room, the servant of King Chu Sun disappeared without a trace.

Although Tian was surprised, he was relieved and explained to Zhuang Zhou, "I have been thinking about you all the time since you died. I just heard a sound in the coffin, hoping you could come back to life, so I split the coffin with an axe. Thank God, you really came back to life!

Zhuang Zhou listened and said, "Thank you for your kindness! It's just that you haven't been in mourning for long. Why are you wearing colorful clothes? Tian explained, "I was very happy when I opened the coffin. I changed into colorful clothes for good luck. "

Zhuang Zhou nodded: "So that's it! There's another thing I don't understand. Why not put the coffin in the thatched cottage, but throw it in the broken house? Is this also good luck? Tian was speechless when asked. Zhuang Zhou took another look at the table full of tables, and said nothing else, only called Tian's hot wine.

Zhuang Zhou let go of his capacity for liquor and drank several large cups in a row. Tian unappreciative, sweet talk, trying to coax Zhuang Zhou to bed. Zhuang Zhou was drunk, asked the chef for paper and pen, and wrote four poems:

Once upon a time, I paid off my enemies' debts. You loved them, so I stopped loving them.

If I marry you again, I'm afraid your axe will split the top of the skull.

Once again:

What is it like to be married for a hundred years? When you meet a new person, forget the old one!

Today, the coffin was cut by an axe. How to wait for a dry grave?

After reading these four poems, Tian was too ashamed to speak.

Zhuang Zhou said to her again, "I'll show you two people." Then point to the door. Looking back, Tian was startled to see the king of Chu and his old servant come in. I turned my head and found that Zhuang Zhou had disappeared. When I looked back, even the servants of King Chu Sun were gone.

Where are the princes and grandsons of Chu and the old servants? This is all the magic of Zhuang Zhou Shan Gui.

Tian is in a trance and ashamed to meet people. He took off his belt and hanged himself. When Zhuang Zhou saw that Tian was dead, he took off her body and put it in a chopped coffin. Sit down against the coffin, pick up a earthen basin, and knock and sing:

A lot of carelessness gave birth to me. I'm not Eve, and I'm not my wife. However, I met Xi and lived in a room together. The time is coming, and there are points and points. Life is immoral and life and death are impermanent. Seeing is believing, and immortality is nothing! Life is like choosing, and death is like returning to the air. Hung me up and gave me a huge axe; I mourn Yi and comfort Yi with lyrics. Axe sounds like I'm alive, and singing sounds like I know! Hee hee, who am I if I break the casserole and don't beat the drum?

ZhuangShengGe, and four poems:

I will bury you when you die, and I will marry you when I die.

If I really die, it will be a big joke!

Once again:

I buried my wife when she died, and I married her when she died.

It would be a big joke if I died first.

The field was plowed by others, and the horse was straddled by others.

The wife is loved by others and the son is beaten by others.

Since then, I have been crying with sadness.

The world says I'm not sad, and I laugh at the world's heartbreak.

If people cry after death, I will cry a thousand times.

Then, he laughed, broke the earthen pot, set a fire, set the house on fire, and turned to ashes with the coffin. Since then, Zhuang has traveled around and never got married again.