Why is it harder to meet the right person as you grow older?

When I was browsing Weibo, I saw this passage written by Cangnan School, and I was very touched:

It is easiest to fall in love when you are studying. The library can create fate, and the self-study room Fate can be created in the cafeteria, on the campus lawn, or in the snack street at the school gate. Everyone is young and sassy, ??so it's easy to pair up, and life goes by slowly.

Unlike after working, from the age of 22 to 26, I spent it in a snap. I feel that I am unlucky. Day after day, it is difficult to meet the right person. If I want to meet the one I like, It’s difficult for people too.

In my opinion, it’s not that the older you get, the harder it is to meet someone you like, but that people’s mentality will no longer be pure and simple as they grow older, and they will no longer be as innocent as they were when they were young. It is good for a person to be innocent and heartfelt.

The older we get, the more we know how to love ourselves first. Meeting the right person is a matter of luck beyond the sky. A lock and a key are not meant to be a match.

Meeting the right person is difficult, just like being insomnia in the dark and waiting for dawn. The night that should have been a warm sleep has actually become so long.

02

When we were young, we regarded relationships very simply. At that time, we always felt that the time ahead was long, and it seemed that it would be enough to get married and have children later, with daily necessities and daily necessities.

Look at the newlyweds at the wedding, putting on rings and swearing oaths to each other. Everyone just discusses how suitable the new couple is, the man has a stable job and a good family background, and the woman is considerate and good-looking, but they don’t discuss whether they are in love with each other.

They came together because they were well-matched, but they fell apart because of their inconsistent views. There was more despair and pain hidden in their marriage than warmth and happiness.

No wonder Zhu Fangyu’s ex-wife said: “I used to think that you should not look for a handsome guy when looking for a boyfriend, because it is not safe to be flirtatious. Now that you have experienced it, your ideas are much more mature, and you should not look for an ugly guy when looking for a boyfriend. , because it is not only flirtatious, but also ugly. ”

You can be satisfied with even a little response in the love of student days. At that time, you thought it would be nice if you were not so shy and could be more calm. But when I reach the age where I can say "I love you" casually, I can't tell whether that sentence is true or false.

When you pass the age where you only consider whether you like it or not, you will face more problems other than love. Even if you meet someone you feel is right for you, you may not be willing to spend a long time developing your personality.

Those people you loved with all your strength did not come together in the end. When you meet other people later, you don’t have the patience to love them all over again.

Those who keep saying that they must marry love, in the end all they have to say is, just find the right one.

Finding the right person is very simple, as simple as walking on the street and you can meet him; finding the right person is very difficult, so difficult that I have walked thousands of streets alone.

03

In September 2008, during the first class election in the university, a girl strongly recommended me to be a publicity committee member. Since then, I have decided to support her throughout my life. good.

I had a crush on her for 4 years. She had several boyfriends on and off, and then she realized that there was someone like me around her. The only real one-on-one date she and I had was on June 1, 2012.

We agreed at that time that if we can’t get to the end, we shouldn’t choose to start. So in this life, she is destined to become the cinnabar mole on her heart.

What she didn’t know was that at one art performance, she was shivering with cold after dancing, so I threw her a white coat. I still keep that coat and can’t bear to wear it. I can't bear to wash it either.

On the day she graduated and left school, I sent her to the train station. I originally thought that love would come to an end when I sent her on the train, but when she was about to enter the station, I completely lost my mind, jumped in line to buy a ticket at all costs, and gave her another ride.

The green train, an eight-hour standing ticket, I looked at her sleeping soundly, thinking that I would never be able to look at her like this in this life, and I couldn't help but feel sad.

No matter how calmly I spoke before or how thoroughly I broke off, the moment I couldn’t let go of the parting hug, I truly understood that the reason why love is love is because of unwillingness.

After she left, she sent me a text message: "Thank you for sending me back. I'm sorry that I couldn't take you to play.

Be careful on the road and find a girl who treats you well! ”

My tears couldn’t stop pouring out. I didn’t expect that autumn rain would also fall in Spring City in summer. My feelings seemed to have been sealed in winter and would not be allowed to thaw in my life.

04

Later, I was depressed for a long time, and I repeatedly reassured myself that I would meet a good girl, fall in love, and laugh heartlessly.

I am single. In my daily life, I save every good movie I encounter, and keep every good song I hear. I update my status regularly and write about my life trajectory.

I just want to have one day. I also met a girl. When she wanted to know every detail of my past, I could tell her with my chest high and without discounting or adding any jealousy. Look, all the hardships along the way were just to meet you.

It’s just that I saved more and more movies, and deleted things from my hard drive. Every girl I met still didn’t have the urge to fall in love and get married.

I wandered through some windows. I have stayed in some hotels. The longer I am single, the more picky I become. I would rather stay alone than settle for nothing.

There are too many things in life that are beyond our reach. , only feelings make people feel happy. You can continue to stick to the island, or you can pack your bags and hit the road. People are just like birth, old age, illness and death, but love, hate, anger and ignorance are the same.

But you still prefer it. In the ice and snow, stick to the warmth in your heart, even if you are freezing to the point of bleeding, you will keep it in your arms.

Life has too many helplessness, but you want to stay young while you are still young. While you still have ambition, try your best to control some so-called destiny.

You only want to make yourself better so that you can be worthy of the uncompromising courage.

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05

Osam Dazai said in "Disqualification in the World" that cowards are afraid of happiness and will be hurt when they touch cotton, and sometimes they will be hurt by happiness.

In my opinion, the coward he is talking about does not refer to those young boys and girls, but to adults who seem to be able to stand alone, but who are insecure.

If you are such a person, Then only you can give yourself a sense of security, and your ability to protect yourself becomes stronger and stronger, but you feel a little lonely.

When someone suddenly shows kindness to you, your first reaction is not to hug. And look down at yourself first, and then evaluate whether this good relationship will come to an end.

You dare not rely on others, which always gives people the illusion of being strong and independent. If the other person does not treat you wholeheartedly, you would rather. Choose to be with yourself

You hope that someone can hold your hand and walk forward, but that person never appears, and then you wait and wait until he finally appears, but you dare not completely. Give your hand to him. You are afraid that if he lets go, you will be doomed.

You know all your struggles, but you still can't help but protect yourself. You don't believe that you are worthy of being loved. , before others give up, give up the other person first

06

Feng Timo's "Goodbye Ex" sings the aspirations of many girls, "Baby from the beginning, hurry up." Sleeping and drinking hot water later turned into meetings and busyness, it doesn’t matter.”

From love to marriage, the most fearful thing is that the willingness and devotion to love at the beginning will turn into mutual dislike and quarrels all day long. The two of them face each other day by day, and stay in bed together night and day. After a few years, Tianxian will become the red cabbage moss bought yesterday, and Bai Zihua will also grow a fat belly.

Love itself is just some ordinary and trivial things. If you roar at the top of your lungs and blow by strong winds and waves, it will be difficult to see the beauty of life with someone in the daily necessities of life.

I have also heard a sadder story about the encounter.

He likes to tell bad jokes, and she likes to listen to bad jokes; he likes Japanese literature, and she likes Haruki Murakami; he likes to watch old Hong Kong movies, and she likes Leslie Cheung; he likes pilgrimages, and she just traveled from Tibet return.

Their views are exactly the same. They are a perfect couple. On this day, we finally met at a convenience store.

But, they each paid and walked out of the convenience store, and then nothing happened.