I blocked a friend

01.

Recently, I blocked a friend I have known for many years.

What I mean by blocking is not deletion or blocking, but in my heart, I don’t want to have too much contact with her.

To put it nicely, she speaks very straightforwardly, but to say it worst, she has a very poisonous mouth. I don’t want to mention anything in the past. What directly angered me was an incident a while ago.

A few days after my second child was born, she saw that I didn’t post any photos on WeChat Moments. She asked in the WeChat group: Is the child too ugly? You dare not expose it.

This sentence made me completely disappointed in her.

Many people may think that it is just a joke and there is no need to care so much, but making fun of someone else's newborn child is a bit too much.

I don’t think it’s because I have a soft heart. Whose child is not my heart-throb? I’m sure that if I said this to her, she would immediately turn against her.

I didn’t change my face immediately because I felt it wasn’t worth it.

Over the years, she has not changed. Her personality has become stronger and stronger, and she speaks without restraint. When friends are together, they are often embarrassed by her words.

No one is perfect. I always thought she was just outspoken and never cared about some of the sarcastic words she said.

However, this time, I decided not to continue to be tolerant and to be a carefree person.

Because I would not allow someone I call a friend to laugh at my newborn child, and I did not see a trace of love for me and my child in her words.

In my opinion, a true friend will care about me and my child's health first, and will praise my child's cuteness instead of attacking my child with words.

02.

What kind of person can be called a friend?

As the saying goes, if a friend is indifferent to everything you care about and scorns everything you are interested in, you do not have the same or similar values.

Then, this person cannot be called a true friend, but can only be an acquaintance and a passerby on the journey of life.

There is no need to force ourselves to be friends if we have different views.

A true friend must at least have the ability to have a romantic relationship with you. In addition to understanding you and appreciating you, he must also know your bottom line and safeguard your basic interests.

The more a person cares about you, the more cautious and thoughtful he will be when talking to you. Because I am afraid that if I say the wrong thing, I will feel sad, or I will hurt you accidentally.

Many times, we think that outspoken people are simple and kind, but not all directness is right.

Your outspokenness cannot be based on the pain of others, you cannot treat ridicule as a commonplace, you cannot use attacks as casual jokes, and you cannot have no bottom line.

Being outspoken is not just looking at problems from one's own point of view, blindly wanting to express one's own opinions without taking into account the feelings of others.

Otherwise, it is not called being outspoken, it is called selfishness.

03.

Making friends is the same as falling in love. What matters is mutual understanding and care.

A true friend will make you feel warm and reliable, and you can often understand what the other person means with just one look.

I have a best friend of more than ten years who is very good at speaking from the perspective of others. After knowing each other for so many years, we still have some scruples in communicating with each other, even if we are chatting and complaining to each other. Will maliciously ridicule and attack with malicious words.

It’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s that I care too much, and I am afraid that any words will accidentally touch the other person’s weakness and hurt the other person.

Because we cherish each other, we will have reservations and be tactful and gentle.

Because we cherish each other, we will have scruples and speak softly.

Everyone has a bottom line, which is what makes us who we are and what distinguishes our inner world from others.

Casually stepping on other people's bottom lines is violating the other person's interests, disrespecting the other person, and showing contempt for the relationship.

No matter how good the relationship is, it will gradually collapse because you step on the other person's bottom line.

04.

When I was young and energetic, I always felt that it was my true temperament to speak straight to the point. As I grew older and gained more experience, I came to understand that speaking directly to the point is the right thing to do. It is true wisdom to make others feel comfortable and appropriate when speaking out.

A truly mature person must make others feel comfortable and stress-free. A truly strong person must know how to think about problems from the perspective of others.

Life is only a few decades. In fact, we all make mistakes while growing up. I hope we can all slowly learn to treat our relatives and friends around us gently through the trials of life.