A funny conversation between a buyer and a seller on Taobao

Buyer: Sister, I bought three items from you. Please change the postage.

Seller: Okay, I’ll remarry right now!

Buyer: No, my brother-in-law is right.

Seller: I made a typo, go and change the price.

Buyer MM: Is the shopkeeper here?

Seller: Yes, dear! ~

Buyer MM: Can you recommend some skin care products suitable for me?

Seller: Okay, what type of skin does MM have?

Buyer MM: I am a mix-dry bitch

Buyer: Is your meat fresh? I'm in Shanghai, how long does it take for express delivery?

Seller: My meat is very fresh, about a few hours! We are not very far away.

Buyer: Your meat is only 5.9 yuan, can it still be cheaper?

Seller: Sorry! My meat is already the lowest price!

Buyer: Okay! I want your back seat, don’t get it somewhere else for me?

Seller: Okay, definitely!

Buyer: I want to buy you to help me give birth to a son.

Seller:

Buyer: Oh, I didn’t make it clear. I want to buy you. Jade tablet - Buddha, bless me to have a son.

Seller: Haha

Buyer: Boss, can you help me choose the best one?

Seller: Okay, I will organize hundreds of mobile phones and let them be auditioned first and then PK

Buyer: Boss, my classmate said, the mobile phones you bought here , even if it falls from the 4th floor and breaks, you can still replace it, right?

Seller: You should pay more attention to this classmate, don’t leave him alone, talk to him more, and participate in some group activities. If you still don't see any improvement, you can send it to the hospital for observation.

Buyer: Oh. . . . . .

Buyer: Boss, we don’t have express delivery here. Is there any way to deliver it faster?

Seller: Charter a machine and airdrop

Buyer: Hello, I want to buy shoes from your store

Seller: Hello, I like it Which one should I take a photo of?

Buyer: I want to use Q coins to buy your shoes. Is that okay?

Seller: No.

Buyer: Then I’ll press The price of the product will be directly charged to your mobile phone

Seller: Fainted

Buyer: Can your pink balls be repackaged?

Seller: We don’t pack it. ． ．

Buyer: Everyone else packs them, but you don’t!

Seller: The packaging is so unhygienic! You women don’t know how to do it. ．

Buyer: Move. ． ． What to move?

Seller: Dizzy. ． ． ． I mean brain! It’s over, my eternal fame! ! !

Buyer: Is it okay to meet in person?

Tian Hongyan: Haha, sorry, no, we only accept mail order.

Buyer: You name a place and I’ll go there.

Tian Hongyan: Face-to-face transactions are really inconvenient.

Buyer: You can mask, or I can mask:)

MMA: Boss, do you have a corpse shop?

Seller: No Sorry, Taobao doesn’t allow you to sell that item

Buyer: Can you sell this thing to me for 120? The original price is 142

Seller: OK.

Buyer: What should I do next?

Seller: Just take a picture of it

Buyer: How do you take a picture? Do you take a picture of it with your hand on the computer?

Seller: Haha, you are too humorous

Buyer: How is your sexual performance?

Seller:? Does it matter?

Buyer: Sorry, there is an extra word "strength".

How is the product performance?

Seller: Oops...

Seller: Chinese red bellybands with the same pattern are no longer available. The ones with butterfly patterns are the same color, is that okay?

Buyer: You can pull her. She’s gone out and I’m her mother. She’s buying something again

Seller: It’s best to talk to her, otherwise it will be troublesome if she doesn’t like it. The most important thing is that she likes it

Buyer: Got it, it’s so annoying. I am her mother and I have the final say. I know how to buy things every day. What else did she buy? Today she has bought 5 pieces of clothes and 2 bags.

Buyer: Actually, I asked about cucumber water because I heard that it looks better

Seller: MM cosmetics depends on the effect*

Buyer: Haha, I understand. Then I'll go see it first. If I have any questions, I’ll ask you again.

Seller:． ． ． ． ．

Seller* Haha, I’ve never slept there, so I don’t know what it’s like

Buyer: I’m also going to ask you which one is more comfortable

Seller: Or Shall I choose one to sleep with tonight after get off work? Is this okay? My husband sleeps on the camp bed and I sleep on the beach bed.

Buyer: No, in order to tell me which one is more comfortable, I have to separate you. That’s not good. Haha, I’ll do it first, too. Thank you, who of you two will be online tomorrow morning so that I can know how you feel after trying it