Humorous jokes at the bottom of the closet

Humorous jokes at the bottom of the closet

I collected a collection of jokes at the bottom of the wardrobe, and I am not responsible for laughing to death!

1 I have been very dark since I was a child. Once my house caught fire, and when the fireman's uncle came to put out the fire, I ran out desperately. Suddenly, I heard someone say: The child is burned and still running so fast.

The five-year-old daughter put up a finger and said to her mother, Mom, look! ? Mother bit her finger and said, Ah, I'm a tiger! ? The little girl took out her finger and asked doubtfully. Hey, mom, where's my booger?

When I was 3 years old, I stole my dad's cigarettes. I sat on the sofa with a cigarette in my mouth and looked at my dad. I frown sometimes and sigh sometimes, and smoke fills my fingertips, which shows that I am a man who has experienced many vicissitudes. The beautiful picture was fixed at the moment when my mother came back early. When we looked at each other, she looked at me with sparks in her eyes. I didn't panic, but crossed my legs and squinted and whispered to my mother? Xiao Fang, you're back so early?

Humor joke at the bottom of wardrobe 5 A Qinglong gang was set up in the school, but it was later discovered by the school that the head teacher just turned us into a Qinglong study group.

I didn't mean to brag. According to my current grades and studies, as well as my understanding of the major to be selected in the university and the future economic trend, to tell you the truth, I will sweep the whole city in the future.

I made a new girlfriend and was told that she was a rich girl, and advised me to give up. I don't think family background is important, as long as people are nice. Later, I learned that the rich family is a nightclub.

10 Friar Sand has been taking care of the other three people on his way to learn the scriptures. One day before going to bed, I found a hole in the Monkey King's underwear. I took out my needle and thread and sewed it carefully before going to bed. The next day, I found this cave again, and Friar Sand sewed it patiently. On the third day, when the hole was discovered and ready to be stitched, a tingle in the Monkey King stood up. Shout: I waited for you all night! That's it! You have a lot to do! Why did you sew this hole? Where did you put my tail? Put it there!

1 1 During the academic level examination, the teacher searched him with a metal detector at the door, and all the students in front passed safely. When it was my friend's turn, it kept ringing from head to toe. What did the girl in the back say, wait a little longer? I'll go. Wang Jinxi, the iron man? ! Smile silly in an instant! !

12 in junior high school, I saw a female classmate ask for leave, blushing and telling the teacher that she had her period, and the teacher immediately approved it. Then I went to ask for leave like her, and then I was punished by the teacher to stand on the podium and admit my mistake. The teacher popularized it to the students on the spot. The boy has no menstruation.

13 I was from the northeast before drinking, and the whole northeast was mine after drinking!

14 What is tolerance? Xiaoming showed it to his father after the exam. Dad:? Math 0! ? Xiaoming was shocked ... Dad::? Language 1 min! ? Xiao Ming nodded trembling ... the air was condensed and the atmosphere was terrible. Xiao Ming feels that a blood shed is coming to him. Dad took a deep breath and said slowly, Ming! You're-you're a little biased.

16 had a quarrel with my daughter-in-law. She wanted to make up, but ignored me, so she called Alipay 520 yuan in the morning and then transferred to 13 14 yuan. Later, she sent a message: If you mean it, don't say a word twice.

17 A classmate, in senior three, asked why Sichuan was always foggy during the geography exam. His answer is that Sichuanese love hot pot.

18 junior high school English teacher told us that a student was bored in class. It was winter, and there was a lot of water mist on the classroom glass. He wiped away the water mist with his hand until the face of the class teacher gradually appeared?

20 high school accommodation, had a quarrel with my mother before returning to school. The content is that I didn't study hard, and the more I think about it, the more angry I get. I went directly to the office at school, kicked the door open, threw my schoolbag on the ground, pointed to the head teacher and said loudly, what the fuck is your use? Even I can't teach! I'm so smart, you taught me badly! From this prestigious school!

On the morning of the 23rd, the bus passed by the gate of a park, and dozens of grandmothers came up. An uncle asked his aunt in the seat:? Look at your rosy face. Are you 50 this year? Aunt smiled and blossomed: 62 this year! ? Grandpa smiled:? I am 73 years old, please give me your seat! ? Aunt laughed even louder: hahaha, I'm pregnant! ?

When I was in college, I reluctantly spent 3000 yuan on a fitness card. Although I didn't go once, I lost ten pounds a month because I didn't have money to eat.

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A crab was walking on the beach and accidentally stepped on a nearby starfish. Starfish said, you are so fucking blind. The crab says, no, I'm a crab.

29 universities organized blood donation. Originally weak, I suddenly fainted when I smoked 200cc, which scared the nurse to be busy for a long time and didn't come back until I lost 400cc of blood. Finally, when sending me a blood donation card, I felt a deep resentment in the nurse's sister's eyes. Later, a diaosi went to a blood donation station to pretend to faint in order to replenish blood. . .

It's okay to call me warm man. Call me? Central air conditioning? Okay, but don't call me because of my height, okay? Floor heating? Okay？

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