Collect classic adult jokes about rabbits

1. Once upon a time, there was a female wolf chasing a white male rabbit. The male rabbit jumped from branch to branch, followed by the female wolf. Unfortunately, the female wolf was stuck. The male rabbit took the opportunity to rape the female wolf and then ran away quickly. The female wolf broke away in anger and chased the male rabbit. The male rabbit fled to the edge of a swamp. There was a deck chair with a newspaper on it. There was no way to escape. The male rabbit rolled on the edge of the swamp, turned into a gray rabbit, and then lay down on the chair. , cover it with newspaper and pretend to be a tourist. The she-wolf chased the white rabbit to the edge of the swamp, but did not see the white rabbit, so she asked the gray rabbit if he had seen the white rabbit passing by. The gray rabbit opened the newspaper and asked: "Is it the white rabbit that raped the female wolf?" After hearing this, the female wolf immediately became very ashamed and said: "Is it reported in the newspaper so soon?"

1. A bear defecated in the woods, and a rabbit came over. He asked the rabbit: "Does it shed hair?" The rabbit thought for a while and said, "No hair!" The bear took a puff of cigarette and asked again: "Shedding hair?" ? The rabbit looked at the bear and said, "It doesn't shed!" The bear looked at the rabbit with suspicion and asked, "Really it doesn't shed?" The rabbit shouted impatiently: "If it doesn't shed, it doesn't shed." Hairy!!!" Before he finished speaking, the bear grabbed the rabbit and said..."Sorry, I forgot to bring the paper.

2. The giraffe said: "Little rabbit, I really hope you know what it means to have a long neck." Okay. No matter what delicious food I eat, it will pass through my long neck slowly, and the delicious food can be enjoyed for a long time."

The little white rabbit looked at him expressionlessly.

"And, in the summer, the cool water slowly flows over my long neck, which is so delicious. It's great to have a long neck! Little white rabbit, can you imagine?"

The little white rabbit said slowly: "Have you ever vomited?"

3. One day, the kangaroo was driving around on the country road and suddenly saw the little white rabbit in the middle of the road. , with ears and body almost completely lying on the ground as if listening to something...

So... the kangaroo stopped the car and asked curiously: "Little white rabbit, may I ask what are you listening to?"

"A large truck passed here half an hour ago..."

"Wow...so amazing!...How did you know?..."

"He XX! That’s how my neck and legs were broken..."

4. The ant was walking in the forest and suddenly encountered an elephant. The ant quickly dug into the soil and stretched out an leg.

The little white rabbit was very curious when he saw it, and asked: What are you doing?

The ant quietly said to it:

Shh... don't make any sound, look at me. Trip and somersault...

5. One day, the rabbit was writing in front of a cave. A wolf came over and asked: "Rabbit, what are you writing?"

The rabbit replied Said: "I am writing a thesis."

The wolf asked again: "What topic?"

The rabbit replied: "I am writing about how the rabbit ate the wolf."

The wolf laughed loudly and expressed disbelief.

The rabbit said: "Follow me." After taking it into the cave, the rabbit continued to write in front of the cave. At this time, another fox came and asked: "Rabbit, what are you writing?"

The rabbit replied: "I am writing a paper."

The fox asked: "What The question? "

The rabbit answered: "How did the rabbit eat a fox?"

The fox laughed after hearing this and expressed disbelief.

The rabbit said: "You come with me." Then he took it into the cave. After a while, the rabbit walked out of the cave alone and continued to write his paper.

At this time, a lion was sitting on a pile of white bones in the cave, picking his teeth, and reading the rabbit's paper: The ability of an animal is not determined by its strength, but by its strength. It depends on who is the boss behind it

6. One day, the little white rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the boss: "Boss, boss, do you have carrots here?"

The boss said : "No."

The little white rabbit left.

The next day, the little white rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the boss: "Boss, do you have carrots here?"

The boss said: "I told you. No, no!"

The little white rabbit left.

On the third day, the little white rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the boss: "Boss, boss, do you have carrots here?"

The boss was anxious: "I told you. How many times?! No!!! If you are annoying again, I will use pliers to pull out all your teeth

!"

The little white rabbit got scared and ran away. .

On the fourth day, the little white rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the boss: "Boss, do you have vise here?"

The boss said: "No."

The little white rabbit asked: "Well, do you have any carrots?"

The boss was really angry. He took out the vise and pulled out all the little white rabbit's teeth. .

On the fifth day, the little white rabbit ran to the drugstore and asked the boss: "Boss, do you have carrot juice here?"

7. The little white rabbit and the big bear. A man squatted under a tree and defecated.

The big bear said to the little white rabbit: Although you little white rabbits are good-looking, you are troublesome! You can see it if you get some dirt on it, which is quite disgusting!

Little white rabbit Said: Look what you said! Isn’t that right!

The big bear said: Isn’t it! As the big bear said, he picked up the little white rabbit, wiped his butt and walked away

...

8. The little white rabbit and the big bear were walking in the forest and accidentally kicked over a pot.

A spirit came out of the pot and said it could grant them three wishes each.

The bear said, turn it into the strongest bear in the world. Its wish came true.

The little white rabbit said, give it a small helmet. Its wish also came true.

The bear said, turn it into the most beautiful bear in the world. Its wish came true again.

The little white rabbit said, give it a bicycle. Its wish came true again.

The bear said, turn all the other bears in the world into bitches!

The little white rabbit got on the bicycle and said while running, turn this bear into a homosexual...

9. The first company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Rabbit: Not busy.

The boss said to Tutu when he got off work: You don’t need to come tomorrow.

Rabbit: Why?

Boss: Because you can’t do much for the company, that’s why you’re not busy. What does the company want from you?

*The second company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tutu: Very busy.

The boss said to Tutu when he got off work: You don’t need to come tomorrow.

Rabbit: Why?

Boss: Because you don’t do things in an organized manner, that’s why you are busy all day long. What does the company want from you?

*The third company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tutu: Not bad.

The boss said to Tutu when he got off work: You don’t need to come tomorrow.

Rabbit: Why?

Boss: Because you act irrationally, that’s why you are “ok” and not “ok”. What does the company want from you?

*The fourth company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tutu: I just finished my work.

The boss said to Tutu when he got off work: You don’t need to come tomorrow.

Rabbit: Why?

Boss: Because your work efficiency is too low, can’t you just check it after you finish it? What does the company want from you?

*The fifth company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tutu: I have finished some of them and checked them, and now I am doing other things. When I got off work, the boss said to Tutu: You don’t have to come tomorrow.

Rabbit: Why?

Boss: Because you lack a systematic way of doing things, why don’t you do some things together? What does the company want from you?

*The Sixth Company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tutu: I have finished my work and am helping others. When I got off work, the boss said to Tutu: You don’t have to come tomorrow.

Rabbit: Why?

Boss: Because you have no plan for doing things, don’t you plan what you want to do tomorrow? What does the company want from you?

*The seventh company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tutu: Today’s work is done, so is tomorrow’s work. When I got off work, the boss said to Tutu: You don’t have to come tomorrow.

Rabbit: Why?

Boss: Because you don’t consider the overall situation when doing things, won’t you help your colleagues share their worries? What does the company want from you?

*The Eighth Company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tutu: I’ve finished today’s and tomorrow’s work, now I’m helping my colleagues.

The boss said to Tutu when he got off work: You don’t need to come tomorrow.

Rabbit: Why?

Boss: Because you are too pushy, your help is likely to cause laziness or stress in others. What does the company want from you?

*Ninth Company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tutu: Wait a moment, I will think about it before answering you.

The boss said to Tutu when he got off work: You don’t need to come tomorrow.

Rabbit: Why?

Boss: You are arrogant and you kept trying to frustrate me when I asked you questions. What does the company want from you?

*The Tenth Company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tutu: I...I...don't know...how to answer you.

The boss said to Tutu when he got off work: You don’t need to come tomorrow.

Rabbit: Why?

Boss: Because you don’t even know if you are busy or not, what use does the company need from you?

*The Eleventh Company

Boss: Tutu, are you busy at work today?

Tutu: Damn it, I resigned~~~~~~~~~~

Boss: Hey! If you have personality, our company will not let you go!

10. The little white rabbit jumped to the bakery and asked: "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"

Boss: "Ah, I'm so sorry, there aren't that many"

"That's it..." The little white rabbit walked away dejectedly.

The next day, the little white rabbit jumped to the bakery and asked, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"

Boss: "Sorry, there are still none."

"That's it..." The little white rabbit walked away dejectedly.

On the third day, the little white rabbit jumped to the bakery, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"

The boss said happily: "Yes. Yes, we have a hundred buns today!”

Little White Rabbit took out the money: “Great, I’ll buy two!”

11. A little white rabbit ran happily in the forest.

On the way it met a giraffe who was rolling marijuana.

The little white rabbit said to the giraffe: "Giraffe, giraffe, you Why do things that hurt yourself?

Look how beautiful this forest is, let’s run in nature together!”

The giraffe looks at the marijuana smoke, look at it The little white rabbit threw the marijuana cigarette behind him and followed the little white rabbit running in the forest.

Later they met a big man who was preparing to smoke cocaine. Elephant,

The little white rabbit said to the elephant: "Elephant, why do you do things that hurt yourself?

Look how beautiful this forest is, let us Let’s run in nature together!”

The elephant looked at the cocaine and the little white rabbit, then threw the cocaine behind him and followed the little white rabbit. The rabbit and the giraffe were running in the forest.

Later they met a lion who was preparing to fight viper.

The little white rabbit said to the lion: "Lion, why are you doing this?" What about hurting yourself?

Look how beautiful this forest is, let’s run in nature together!”

The lion looked at the syringe and the little white rabbit , so he threw the syringe behind him,

rushed over and beat the little white rabbit hard.

The elephant and the giraffe were trembling with fear: "Why are you hitting?" Where is the little white rabbit?

It is so kind, caring about our health and telling us to get closer to nature."

The lion said angrily: "This bastard rabbit takes ecstasy every time. Just drag me

and run around in the forest like an idiot.”

12. On the first day, the little white rabbit went fishing by the river, but didn’t catch anything, so he went home. .

The next day, the little white rabbit went fishing by the river again, but still didn’t catch anything and went home.

On the third day, as soon as the little white rabbit arrived at the river, a big fish jumped out of the river and shouted at the little white rabbit:

If you dare to use the fucking method again, If you use a radish as bait, I will crush you to death!

13. In order to test the strength of the pol.ice in the United States, Hong Kong, and mainland China, the United Nations placed three rabbits in three forests.

Look at the pol.ice in the three places. Who will find the rabbit first?

In front of the first forest is the American police. They first spent half a day meeting to formulate a combat plan and strictly divided the work. Then

sent special forces quickly Entering the forest to conduct a carpet search, the meeting was delayed, the rabbit ran away, and the mission failed!

Then it was the turn of the Hong Kong police. They sent more than a hundred people and dozens of police cars to the forest. They were lined up outside, and the leader used the loudspeaker to shout: "Rabbit, rabbit, you have been surrounded. Come out and surrender..." Half a day passed, but there was no movement. Fly

The tiger team entered the forest and searched again, but no results were found. The mission failed!

In the end, there were only four Chinese police. They played mahjong for a day. At dusk, each person entered the forest with a baton. Five minutes

I heard a burst of animal screams from the forest, and a Chinese policeman came out smoking a cigarette, talking and laughing, dragging a man behind him

A bear with a bruised nose and swollen face. The bear was dying and said: "Don't fight anymore, I am the rabbit..."

14. The little white rabbit was walking in the forest and met the big bad wolf walking towards him. He came up and gave the little white rabbit two big ear stickers

and said, "I will let you not wear a hat." The little white rabbit retreated aggrievedly.

The next day, she skipped out of the house wearing a hat, and met the big bad wolf again. He walked up and gave the little white rabbit two more

A big mouth, said "I let you wear a hat."

Rabbit was depressed. After thinking for a long time, I finally decided to complain to the king of the forest, Tiger.

After explaining the situation, Tiger said, "Okay, I understand. I will handle this matter. You have to trust the organization." On the same day, the tiger found his buddy, the big bad wolf. "It's not right for you to do this. It's making it difficult for me." After saying that, he wiped the cigarette ashes falling on the table: "Do you think this is okay? You can say, Tutu, come here. , find me a piece of meat!

She found a fat one, and you said you wanted a thin one. She found a thin one, and you said you wanted a fat one, so you can beat her. Of course

You can also say that. Tutu, come here and find me a woman. You said you like a slim one. Come on, the slim one. If you say you like the plump one, you can beat her properly and forcefully." The big bad wolf nodded frequently, clapped his hands, and his respect for the tiger once again reached a new peak. Unexpectedly, the above guidance work was overheard by the little white rabbit who was weeding the tiger's house outside the window. I feel this hatred in my heart.

The next day, the little white rabbit went out again. What a coincidence, the big bad wolf came towards him. The Big Bad Wolf said: "Rabbit, come here and find me a piece of meat." Rabbit said: "Then, do you want to be fat or thin?" Big Gray After hearing this, the wolf's heart sank and then he felt happy. Fortunately, there was Plan B. He then said: "Tutu, Mali'er, find me a woman.

" Tutu asked: "Then, do you like plump ones or slim ones?" The Big Bad Wolf was silent. After 2 seconds, he raised his hand and gave Tutu two big-eared posts. "Damn, I asked you not to wear a hat."

15. Three little white rabbits picked a mushroom

The two older ones asked the younger ones to get some wild vegetables to eat together.

The little one said I won’t go and you’ll eat my mushrooms if I leave

The two older ones said no, don’t worry and go ahead, so the little white rabbit went~ ~~

Half a year has passed and the little white rabbit hasn’t come back yet. The big one said it won’t come back and we have to eat it

The other big one said wait a little longer~~~

A year has passed and the little white rabbit hasn’t come back yet. The two big ones agreed that we shouldn’t wait and let’s eat.

At this moment, the little white rabbit suddenly jumped out of the jungle next to it. Come out angrily and say look! I knew you were going to eat my mushrooms

16.

Teacher: If I give you two rabbits and Billy gives you two rabbits, Mary I give you two rabbits. How many rabbits do you have in the end?

Tom: Seven.

Teacher: No, once again, listen clearly this time, I gave you two rabbits, Billy gave you two rabbits, Mary gave you two rabbits, and finally you a** *How many rabbits are there?

Tom: Seven.

Teacher: Still wrong, let me put it another way. If I give you two pigeons, Billy gives you two more pigeons, Mary gives you two more pigeons, and finally you ** *How many pigeons are there?

Tom: Six.

Teacher: Very good! Now let's go back to the previous question: If I give you two rabbits, Billy gives you two rabbits, and Mary gives you two rabbits, how many rabbits do you have in the end?

Tom: Seven.

Teacher: What did you do? Aren't rabbits and pigeons the same?

Tom: No, I already have a rabbit at home.