What are some classic jokes?

1. When I was in college, I went to Hengshan. I was half way up the mountain and was about to take a break when I was tired. I saw an old woman buying souvenirs on the roadside. I went up and asked, "Wife." ......."

2. Occasionally, I was driving and a beautiful colleague took the bus. As soon as he sat next to me, he said very nervously: Put on a condom!

The beauty will never ignore me again. . . Depressed ING

3. Someone came to my aunt’s house as a guest before, and she just walked in. It happened that my aunt had to go to the toilet. She quickly greeted the guests and said: "Sit down, sit down, I'll pour you some urine!" (originally she meant to pour some tea)

4. During her internship, she told a teacher Said: Teacher Chen, is your surname Chen?

5. When I went to the factory for a metalworking internship in college, the master worker said when assigning machine tools: For safety reasons

We try to ensure that one male classmate and one female classmate share a bed. . At that time, all the boys burst into laughter and the girls blushed.

During the internship, I did almost all the lathe work for the girl who slept with me (Han). In the end, I considered that it wouldn’t be good for the master to check if she couldn’t do anything. I persuaded her to practice her hands, but she said: I am used to letting you do it.

It was very cold at that time.

6. A friend went to a dumpling restaurant and asked, "How much does a bowl of dumplings (sleep) cost (night)?" The waitress just heard "Bah!" and said: "Shameless!"

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7. During the self-study class, everyone was watching the review. GG said to MM: "I just memorized the words, please help me write them silently." MM didn't want to be silent, so GG asked her to silently silence me. Come on, (touch) me! ! As a result, MM couldn't bear it anymore and shouted, "Teacher, look, I don't want to (touch) him, but he insists on me (touching) him~~~!" ! !

8. One day I went to a classmate’s house for dinner and drank some wine. Her father suddenly came in. He originally wanted to call her uncle, but he made the mistake of saying, “Dad, come sit down!”~~ cold! Most of my classmates were laughing so hard

9. When my colleague was arguing with someone, he got anxious and said, "Do you think I grew up eating?" I have always wondered what he grew up eating.

10. When I was in elementary school, a very annoying boy asked me to borrow an eraser. If I refused, he would stalk me. After that, I yelled with all my strength, "I won't marry (borrow)." "Here you go." The students immediately became quiet.

11. In the computer class, a classmate had a problem with his computer, so he shouted, "Boss, change the computer!" The whole class was stunned,

12. I spit on your face like shit !

13. I joked to mm: "Don't say you know me, it will affect my reputation!"

MM said: "Are you fertile? Can you have children?"

14. I am a man. I fell ill in Guangdong and my throat was speechless. I went to see a doctor. The doctor told me that my yin was inflamed and I fainted. After a closer look, it was written on the medical certificate that the person had throat inflammation ``````````

Speechless```````` 15. When buying a computer, the boss offered 4150, and I bargained: Boss 410 is so bad~~~~The boss is stunned!

16. When I went to work last morning, I found that the bicycle tire was flat, so I wanted to ask my mother to help push it outside the door to inflate it.

But I said: push my tire out .

17. A girl was heartbroken, and I advised her: "Two-legged toads are hard to find, but there are plenty of three-legged men!".

18. There was labor in elementary school. The class was usually weeding, so the teacher had to remind us to bring hoes when school was over the day before. When we were ready to go to labor class on the second day, the teacher asked for the convenience of management: "How many people have brought them? Those who have brought hands. Lift the hoe! ′′

19. Enlighten a lost love.

Classmate, do you know what love is?

20. In the junior high school Chinese class, someone recited Mao Zedong’s poem: The coquettish generation,...

21. A certain teacher, today, let’s learn about Yang Xiuzhi’s Shit

22. Once at KTV, when requesting a song, a girl shouted loudly: Please order me a song called "Double Jay Chou" by Zhou Jiegun...

23. Big 2. For a while, I really liked riding a bike and going shopping with a girl from the same dormitory. After getting dressed up and looking nice, we entered the elevator together. Suddenly I remembered that the car seemed to be running out of air, so I said to her: "Come with me to have an abortion first." ?"~~~~God...

Recently, I saw some words coming from the mouths of girls, which was a real feast for my ears. After sighing with emotion, I concentrated on it and shared it with everyone. , please also talk about what you have heard and seen.