In the name of a friend

How can I know each other but not "the same"

Pastor 1

202 1- 12-30 10:47

Acting priest

65438+February 24th 10:37

Full of absurd words, a bitter tear.

It is said that the author is stupid. Who can explain the taste?

A poem by six philosophers, The Name of a Friend, has deeply touched me many times. I can't help but recall the dusty story and make up my mind to write it down.

We are classmates in junior high school. For some special reasons, we all stayed at school at that time. It can be said that we live together day and night. We 12 or 34 years old, seeds of love. But I'm talking about someone else. As for me, I haven't grown up. ! I don't understand men and women. In fact, I am ignorant, I can't say, I can't say, I can't say clearly. Anyway, the experience of these three years has made me unforgettable. Those boys and girls all recognize each other as classmates, secret admirers, brothers and sisters in my heart.

In the third grade, we had a middle-aged Chinese teacher who was tyrannical, crazy and menopausal syndrome. The students are afraid and careful to live in her bottomless white terror rule. I don't know why I offended her that time. It seems that I praised another student's tenacious struggle for Chinese homework in my Chinese composition. We should learn from him. . . What a wonderful time! The teacher was furious and unreasonable, and tore all my Chinese review papers to pieces in class. One month before the entrance examination, I didn't review the materials, and I was at a loss and even desperate. . . . I don't know what to do. In the depths of despair, there came a voice of salvation: a saint was willing to help me borrow a review paper from another classmate who just failed. God, I can't forget your "saving my life". Of course, this saint is the heroine of my article. Her name is Cheng Xiaoxia.

The first thing that impressed me was catching up with the navy. Xie Haijun is a big fat man, one level lower than us. When he was a child, his family and Cheng Xiaoxia's family were neighbors. My parents used to joke about getting married. It didn't take long for our second grade to start school, that is, when Xie Haijun just entered our junior high school. As soon as Xie Haijun entered our junior high school, he boasted that Cheng Xiaoxia was his horse (our local dialect, meaning his wife), and he dared to boast at the door of the classroom in Senior Three several times. This may have deeply hurt Cheng Xiaoxia's dignity, and Cheng Xiaoxia repeatedly warned Xie Haijun; After the warning failed, I decided to fight back. When Xiaoxia found out that she was bragging about the navy on campus again, she immediately stood up and condemned the navy, and she never regretted it. Cheng Xiaoxia and Xie Haijun fought, and Xie Haijun hid in the campus. Cheng Xiaoxia chased him around the campus. Xie Haijun finally hid in his classroom, but Cheng Xiaoxia didn't spare him and chased him to their classroom. In a corner of the classroom, blocked by Cheng Xiaoxia, Xie Haijun had nowhere to hide and nowhere to escape. Cheng Xiaoxia is a beating; Understand the indefensible of the navy and beg for mercy again and again. Finally, Cheng Xiaoxia released him only after the navy swore to repent. Cheng Xiaoxia's victory in returning to Korea shows his inviolable dignity and will. This is not a young Xia, but a great Xia. This chivalrous woman is famous for her elegant demeanor. I and other audiences also cheered for her behavior and were impressed by her spirit.

During my three-year junior high school classmate's career, there was a naughty boy in my class, who had a strong desire for leadership and domination. His name was Jie Book Review. In the class, it can also be said that in the small circle of boarders in that grade school, she paired with him and I paired with another lovely but distant goddess. To tell the truth, I envy and hate, and I protest; But I didn't say anything. Yes, I accepted the arrangement.

Middle school, middle school ..... passed quietly, leaving a little secret; I can't forget you even if I hold my heart. I can't forget you, write you in my diary; I can't forget you, but I still miss you: brilliant times, brilliant you!

After graduating from junior high school, although most students are still in senior high school in this middle school, they have parted ways psychologically. But for many years, alas, I still live in that memory.

In high school, everyone trudged and explored hard in their study and life, trying to break through the layers of fog and make life suddenly clear. Some students are gifted. yue longmen, a carp, was admitted to the university early and explained to his parents and the small circle at that time. Some students persevere and continue to explore. There is a long way to go in Xiu Yuan, so I will go up and down. Finally, I have a way out and direction of life.

In high school, I unconsciously became interested in international politics. 1992, the world's largest power-the United States general election, the election result is that handsome Bill Clinton was elected president of the United States of America; Then I met Hillary and Clinton, the political golden couple. Since then, they have become my idols. In high school, students were idolized, and some Hong Kong and Taiwan stars became superstars in their hearts. And the superstars in my heart are Clinton and Hillary. So I want to find a female companion to form my CP-my combination. I don't know why, so I CP Cheng Xiaoxia and me.

Throughout high school, because of my shyness and hers, we didn't say a few words well, but only my false friendship.

After I went to college, I thought I had a sense of superiority and could bend down. Actually, I get along well with her apartment. Yes, I admit that in the past, I felt very inferior. A few times, when I was counting the nature of junior high school students' hukou (that is, asking students whether they are rural hukou or urban hukou? ), when asked who is the urban hukou in the class, she stood up and turned to look around the class: Ah, she is an urban hukou, and we are all rural hukou; If nothing changes in the future, she is a city dweller who eats commodity grain, and we are just farmers with mud legs; She has superiority, while we have oppression.

After I went to college, I thought I had a sense of superiority and could bend down. Actually, I get along well with her apartment. I approached her slowly in the name of a friend, just to get closer to her, but I didn't have the courage to say that I loved her, which made it a secret again and again. The main action is to write letters and talk about some situations in study and life, and then send books to encourage her to know herself correctly and make persistent efforts!

At that time, I studied Lu Yao's novel "Ordinary World" and was very touched, so I mailed a set of "Ordinary World" to her. I am very moved by my own behavior. Yes, I often try to touch the outside world by touching myself in my life, but it is useless.

In the next year's college entrance examination season, she was admitted to Soochow University, which is still considered as a prestigious school. No, that's not the point. The key is that Xie Book Review also studied in that university, and they can finally compete in Qi Fei. The students all wish them well, and I can only wish them all the best. I sent them a congratulatory letter: Xie Book Review is a handsome guy, comparable to Jia Baoyu in a Dream of Red Mansions, and she is a beauty, comparable to Xue Baochai. They are "golden jade". To me, I'm just the "baner" of poor relatives in that remote village. But she denies that she is a beauty, and I think it is not good to compare her with Xue Baochai: Xue Baochai is sophisticated, not as simple, simple and lovely as Lin Daiyu. In fact, I don't think she really hates that metaphor, and she may be proud of it. !

Let's start with a story after Clinton and Hillary were elected president: One year, Hillary and Clinton drove past a gas station, and Hillary suddenly found that the staff at the gas station were familiar, so he told Clinton that he was my first love. Clinton jokingly told her that if you didn't marry me, your husband might be a gas station worker. But Hillary said to him, no, if he marries me, the president is not you, but him; As for you, you may be a small oiler at that gas station. This story often scares me: maybe years later, the two of them are at the top of the mountain, and I can only cheer for them by the roadside. I don't want to be that "oiler"

Many years later, I feel that my life began to degenerate from that moment. The ideal life began to collapse and ran all the way on the road of mediocrity. This excuse is really easy to find. I want to celebrate by myself. I finally have an account of my life. This is all arranged by God. What does God's fault have to do with me? Oh, cheers.-Cheers.-Ulla

After she was admitted to the university, she wrote to me in her hometown and told me her admission information, and there was no news. Xie Book Review told me in an exchange that she was embarrassed to contact me. Is this a hint that I should let go? Didn't I tell you? ! Bless you. What else? How do you do it after greeting each other with greeting cards on New Year's Day next year? Write to Xie Book Review and ask him to convey it. You can do it if you want. I am ashamed that the book review is true and sincere. I said: I am very happy to receive your special blessing on a special day and have something special to say to you. But I didn't say anything, so be it!

In the previous communication with Xie Book Review, he told me that there has been correspondence between them, so I have psychological expectations for this result between the three of us, and I am not particularly disappointed. This is psychologically prepared. I patted the dust on my body to cheer up my tired spirit, knowing that the distance is full of bumpy roads and I am destined to go on alone.

When I visited his home during the Spring Festival that year, she told me that Soochow University was her first choice for going to college, followed by Shaanxi Normal University, and I was slightly gratified. Because I study in Xi 'an. Many years later, I guess she was betting at both ends. What a scheming girl!

From the Spring Festival of 1997 to the Spring Festival of 2002, I visited her home during the six-year Spring Festival holiday, which can also be said to be a New Year greeting. Anyway, in those years, I called her home after I came home from work during the winter vacation or the Spring Festival holiday, and she invited me to her home, so I couldn't help but go to her home. I didn't visit her home until I had a fiancee. Every time I drink with her father, I drink too much and throw up once or twice. I was too young to say no. Even many years later, she teased me if I wanted to go to my father's in-laws to drink! ? In our hometown, there is a custom for new and old son-in-law to return to their mother's house for the New Year.

Different from the feeling of visiting her home for New Year's greetings, I feel very warm when I go to my parents' home for drinking after many years: the first time I went to my parents' home, I got drunk and threw up all over the floor, and my father-in-law praised me for my sincerity, which may be a negative comment from her family (I guess privately that this young man can't control himself and won't make any progress). Since then, I have settled down to cherish my married life. Many years later, I also regret going to her house to drink often. At that time, I couldn't help myself. Sometimes in the dead of night, she dreams of her victory and is awakened from her dream by her hot tears.

I am getting older and older, and my work cities are all in different places after graduating from college. Everyone has no vision and energy to advance together, no commitment, and life has given me sinking and disappointment. Of course, there are my complaints and disappointments to her: I have known her for fifteen years, and she has never taken the initiative to care about my study, work and life. All right. You are on the Gold Coast and I am on the other side of the lighthouse. I hope you and I are both looking back on that moment and expressing our condolences to each other. Fate floats with the wind and watches all his life. The last time we met was in her city after I got married, and we explained each other's living conditions. She encourages me to do what I do, love what I do, and be a strong person in the field of work with her teacher's work thinking habits. I thank her, but I can't. When you shake hands and say goodbye, you will know that goodbye is hopeless. Maybe I'll never see you again in my life.

Well, since I'll never see you again in this life, I'll see you next life! Seek and disappear in silence. Always can't find memories, can't find the truth that has been forgotten. A lifetime has passed, and you have abandoned it bit by bit. Pain, pain, sadness, heart hate losing you, maybe it is not easy to separate, maybe it is impossible to fall in love; Pain, pain, sadness, inner hatred of losing yourself. You and I also know how to cherish deep feelings and shallow feelings. We have to wait in the afterlife, and then set foot on the beginning of each other's stories.

To tell the truth, the most annoying thing about her talk is that she always wants to introduce me to her girlfriend. I once talked about a female classmate in my class. Is her name Chen Meihua? Said some interesting details about my relationship with her, that's all. She said that if I like this girl, she will introduce me, and this girl can chase-and so on. Actually, it's just a casual chat, nothing else. I'm a little embarrassed. I won't dare to say such things next time. I may have been working since I graduated from college. In a conversation, the topic somehow came to the twin sisters Wang Lili and Wang Beibei. She asked me who I was interested in. She will introduce me to someone. I didn't say anything, but I think I am interested in you. Why don't you introduce me to you? It seems that I played a coloratura on purpose. I said, can you introduce me to both twin sisters? I want both. This made her laugh, and she told it to her parents as a joke. I thought to myself: Who is poor? Think I can't find a girlfriend? I didn't know there were many female friends in real life. Just "I like you so much"—

I don't know when it started. When I dreamed of her, she kept denying me, and I didn't see her affirmation once. As for the negative content, I can't remember it in a daze, or I can't remember it when I wake up. And when I tried my best to find her home in my dream, I was told that her home had moved away; It was her family who moved in fear of not being pestered by me, but I never pestered her in real life, but the "devil" in my heart has been pestering her. Yes, I remember that when I traveled to Sanya, Hainan at the end of 200 1, I also asked for our wedding sign "Live together for a long time" at a scenic spot at the ends of the earth! This is in sharp contrast with the sentence "Praise me in my dream" in another article "Yi Yun" in Su Shi's "Jiangchengzi".

1998 during the spring festival, our junior high school classmates met with book reviewers, which was organized by book reviewers (this can prove that only junior high school book reviewers have leadership desire and quality). This party left a deep impression on me. In my understanding, it should be the end of several good friends in junior high school. The first important person is X Jian Zhen who came home from Shenzhen (she is also my important pen pal who graduated from junior high school to university). The rest of the male students are Ran Xiaohua, Ran, Xie Renbing, me, and one is (although not a junior high school classmate, he should be very close to Xie Book Review in high school and is a very important person in our high school). Cao Hui didn't receive the invitation. This guy is cold. He is the headmaster of our middle school and doesn't fit in. Later, I was admitted to the University of Electronic Science and Technology of Chengdu, Sichuan. After graduation, it is said that he gave up the opportunity to work in a scientific research institute in Beijing and died in an accident on 200 1 in which we don't know the details. The female classmate has her (maybe she broke up with Xie Book Review at that time) Huang Xiaoxiang (my goddess and deskmate in junior high school, I'm sorry that I always misspell her name and write it as Huang Xiaoxiang. Later, it was a deliberate prank, and I haven't heard from you for many years), Yu Yalin (now living in Qingdao, an English teacher), Wang Lili and Wang Beibei's twin sisters.

As for the content of the party, it is nothing more than eating, drinking, playing cards and chatting. Finally, I took a photo. The photo may have been taken by Xie Book Review, but we didn't receive it. It's been 24 years, and now it's like yesterday.

The picture of holding hands is always in the dream, and attachment can only stay in the bottom of my heart. Many years later, I want to send the following sentence to my classmates and friends: people are floating on the sea, but it is a dream over and over; The sea has changed, and infatuation meets the cold wind. No matter how much helplessness and grievances there are, we must love like this.

Brewing started on 20 10, and was completed on 202 1 and 65438+February.