How to learn to criticize others implicitly

Everyone has a sense of pride and honor. The main reason why some people are unwilling to accept criticism is that they are afraid of hurting their self-esteem and honor. Therefore, when we criticize others, we often look for a way different from direct criticism, that is, a way to criticize others and let them correct their mistakes. The following is my collection of ways to learn to criticize others implicitly. Welcome to learn from it.

As the saying goes, gold is not enough, and no one is perfect. In this world, we all make mistakes. In our communication activities, we often find other people's shortcomings and mistakes. Generally speaking, people are self-aware. When people find their own mistakes, they will reflect on the nature, harm and root of the mistakes. However, the authorities are confused and the bystanders are clear. No matter how deep your reflection is, you can see it more thoroughly than the onlookers. Therefore, when we find other people's shortcomings, we should correct and criticize them in time. Some people say that praise is like sunshine and criticism is like rain and dew, and both are indispensable. This is reasonable. In communication, we need both sincere praise and pertinent criticism.

Pay attention to implicature, the first taboo is to break into a furious rage. The mistakes made by some people may be direct harm to us, and as critics, it is often easy to get angry. However, anger and criticism are not the same thing, and anger cannot solve the problem. Moreover, breaking into a furious rage will seriously hurt each other's self-esteem and increase each other's resistance, which is not conducive to solving the problem.

Secondly, criticism should not be carried out in public, especially in front of people he knows well. Otherwise, it will make the other party think? Face? Being hurt increased his psychological burden and affected the effect of criticism. For example, if you criticize your husband in front of the guests, whether what you say is reasonable or not, he will feel greatly humiliated in front of the guests, and even think that you want to achieve your self-satisfaction by humiliating him, then he will definitely not accept your criticism. Implicit criticism should be conducted in private, and the tone of criticism should be implicit. For example, ask the other party to correct their mistakes and say in a pleading tone:? Would you please make some changes? If you say: You correct it at once! ? The other party is definitely not willing to accept it.

Wei Zhi was a famous figure in the Tang Dynasty. He was famous for his outspoken views, and he was also good at using implicit methods when criticizing Emperor Taizong. Once, someone gave a pigeon to Emperor Taizong. Emperor Taizong was very happy and put it on his arm for fun. See Wei Zhi come in, afraid he saw, hurriedly chuai to her arms. In fact, Wei Zhi has seen it, but he deliberately didn't make it clear. He deliberately takes his time when playing with things, delaying time. As a result, when Wei Zhi left, the pigeon suffocated in the arms of Emperor Taizong. Here, Wei Zhi implicitly criticized Emperor Taizong? Playing with things? The behavior of.

Generally speaking, implicit criticism mainly adopts the following methods:

1, pun

In other words, one word means another word. On one occasion, Soong Ching Ling was in financial difficulties, and Song Meiling personally delivered a pile of money to her door. Soong Ching Ling said politely: This motion has been held by hand. It's too dirty. You know I have the habit of cleaning. ? Here? Money is dirty? It implies that Chiang Kai-shek's quality is dirty, and Chiang Kai-shek's dirty money Soong Ching Ling certainly won't be wanted. The pun added weight to his words.

Second, Chang Zang Ci style

That is, leave half a sentence. In Guo Moruo's play Qu Yuan, there is a trusted minister of Chu Huaiwang named Jin Shang. Once, Shanxi merchants tried to criticize Nanhou, using Tibetan? Alas, Nan Hou, how can you be smart all your life? Well, it's hard to say. ? Smart life? What does Tibetan mean? Confused for a while? Jin Shang did not dare to say anything, for fear of making a mistake, so he had to use the tactful criticism method in Tibetan.

3. Similar

Comrade Mao Zedong sincerely criticized those leading cadres who were bent on their own way and divorced from the masses. We now have some first secretaries, not even Liu Bang in feudal times, but like Xiang Yu. There is a play called Farewell My Concubine. If these comrades don't change, it is inevitable that I will have a concubine one day, right? . The listener laughed and understood the meaning of criticism in laughter, which is the effect of analogical criticism.

4, the appropriate type of lubrication

That is to say, treat the recognition of subordinates as forwards and defenders, and put criticism in the middle? Sandwich cookies? . Only in this way can it be more easily accepted by subordinates, effectively eliminate their rebellious psychology, let subordinates know what you are talking about, thus protecting their enthusiasm for work, encouraging them to work hard, and at the same time undertaking warning and supervision together. It's like applying some soapy water before shaving, so it won't hurt when shaving, and it's cleaner and commendable. The content must be true and commendable.

5. Arouse the introspection of subordinates.

Criticizing and educating subordinates is to urge them to correct their mistakes, improve their sense of responsibility and professional skills, and improve the quality and efficiency of their work, all of which are inseparable from self-reflection; When subordinates affect their work for some reason, don't criticize them directly when they make mistakes. Instead, use your care and self-blame to wake up your subordinates, let them reflect on themselves, feel ashamed of their mistakes, and try to get out of the predicament, correct their mistakes and improve the quality and efficiency of their work. This method can be used for reference when you face subordinates who have made mistakes or are inefficient for some objective reasons.

6. Humorous reminders

Some bad phenomena and words and deeds of subordinates at work need to be pointed out in time, such as inattention, daze, dozing off, answering personal calls for a long time, telling some vulgar jokes, being rude to colleagues of the opposite sex, etc. But it is not appropriate to criticize directly in public, because these are not serious violations, and the more appropriate method is to use humorous words to warn. It can not only let subordinates know that you have noticed his dissatisfaction with words and deeds, but also give him a chance to step down and correct it in time. You can borrow this method when you encounter these phenomena.

7. Emphasize the matter itself.

Criticize the advantages of subordinates, and don't completely deny them because of one mistake and shortcoming. Otherwise, their self-confidence and enthusiasm will be hit or even destroyed. Tell your subordinates that what you are dissatisfied with is their situation in a certain period, the quality of a certain job and the performance in an event, not all of them, and then point out what negative effects and influences his mistakes have brought to enterprises, teams and colleagues, and tell him how to do it correctly. How to improve the quality and efficiency of work and how to deal with similar problems. Pay special attention to this when criticizing young people and incompetent employees.

8. Commend others.

Some subordinates often do bad things with good intentions because of their low quality, lack of experience or wrong ideas. Although they work hard, the results of their work are not only worthless, but even affect the work of other colleagues. You should let him know that he made a mistake, and at the same time avoid dampening their enthusiasm for work. Can I adopt one at this time? Curve saves the country? The way to express his dissatisfaction is to praise subordinates who are more efficient than him in front of his boss, so that he can feel his boss's dissatisfaction with his work and know where he is wrong and what he should pay attention to. In the future, he will learn from others, gradually change bad habits, improve his work skills, and be suitable for subordinates who do wrong things with good intentions.

9, often metaphor

Is to criticize each other euphemistically in a metaphorical way. Dale. Carnegie talked about Lincoln in Breakthrough of Language, saying that Lincoln always spoke in words with visual effects. When he is tired of the long and complicated reports sent to the White House office every day, he will criticize, but instead of expressing his opposition in plain language, he uses a pictorial sentence that is almost unforgettable. When I send a man out to buy a horse, I don't want this man to tell me how many hairs there are on the tail of this horse. I just want to know its characteristics. ? Lincoln euphemistically criticized the lengthy report by comparing A with B.

10, questioning and urging type

If the subordinates have no obvious mistakes, but the quality and efficiency of their work are not high, you need to criticize and urge them. You can neither let them go nor simply blame them. You can use another method-questioning method to let your subordinates know that you are not satisfied with their work. You can ask your subordinates some warning and urging questions, such as? Is this your normal performance? Have you put enough energy into it? What do you think is different from your previous job? Through these questions, subordinates can hear your dissatisfaction, arouse their self-esteem and urge them to work hard, which is suitable for some capable subordinates, who are depressed and demoralized.

1 1, communicate in advance and criticize after doing something wrong with kindness.

When subordinates do something wrong with good intentions and need to be publicly criticized or punished, there is nothing wrong with handling it according to the management norms of enterprises; However, the serious mistakes made by subordinates are not intentional, but because they lack working ability and experience or are eager for success and innovation. If we simply follow the management norms of enterprises and lack prior communication, it may hurt the self-esteem of subordinates and dampen their self-confidence and enthusiasm for work. Therefore, while publicly criticizing and punishing subordinates in accordance with management norms, we should do a good job of rational persuasion and appeasement to help him correctly understand and accept criticism and punishment, so as to achieve better educational results. It is suitable for subordinates who make serious mistakes unintentionally and can learn from them.

12, emphasizing dependent value types

In the process of criticizing your subordinates, you should honestly say that you care about, value and expect them, feel that you care about their performance and achievements only because you respect them and are responsible for them, then criticize and urge them, emphasize the value of their work to enterprises, departments, colleagues and bosses, and let them know that they not only belong to themselves, but also belong to this team. What they do can't just rely on their own interests and habits, but more importantly, whether they are worthy of their professional values and job responsibilities. When criticizing subordinates, we should pay special attention to their professional value, meet their needs of recognition and attention while warning and urging, effectively arouse their self-esteem, self-respect and self-confidence, and encourage them to overcome their weaknesses, make continuous efforts and make continuous progress, which is even more noteworthy when criticizing key employees.

13, public-private combination

When subordinates often show some bad phenomena, although it is not a serious mistake, it will have a negative impact on their work and other colleagues. We should also give criticism and warning. It is not appropriate to criticize directly by name. After all, this is not a serious violation of discipline. Can it be adopted at this time? Public-private combination? The method is: publicly criticize bad phenomena, not criticize subordinates by name, and privately warn subordinates to urge them to correct their mistakes. For example, at the meeting, you can publicly explain your dissatisfaction with certain phenomena and point out specific bad phenomena, such as? Playing games online during office hours? The phenomenon of being late and leaving early is serious and the work efficiency is low. However, there is no need to point out a specific person in this matter, and then privately criticize the relevant subordinates and ask him to correct it in time. This method is suitable for those errors that are not too heavy or too heavy, but tend to spread, and can be used for reference.

14, urged by trust