A joke on the wine table

A complete collection of jokes on the wine table

The jokes on the wine table are all one:

Two ladies complain that the bus is crowded now, which makes them very miserable. One said? I'm so unlucky! I was packed to death in the car. ? One said:? I'm so unlucky! The car is so crowded that I'm pregnant. ?

A man strolled in the yard and asked the woman the price. The woman replied: 50 yuan. The man saw it was cheap and did it. The woman said: Please pay 100 yuan. The man asked why. The woman replied that she was in and out of 50 yuan. The man thundered: You fucking move in China, and you charge in two ways!

Beijing-Kowloon Railway is open to traffic, and farmers along it look. A female passenger on the bus came for a holiday, corrected the paper, and went out the window. The paper stuck to the farmer's face, and the farmer took it off and said, honey, it was so fast! A piece of paper can break your nose and bleed!

That night, my husband was reading in bed. He puts his hand between his wife's legs from time to time. Wife undresses and coquetry. The husband asked, why? The wife asked, What are your hands doing? The husband said solemnly: wet hands. Turning pages is easy!

One day, a monk met a nun and wrote a couplet: the first part: I didn't hang up during the day; The second part: I hung up at night; Part II: I am very free! The first couplet of a nun: daytime hole. The second couplet: the hole is empty at night. Cross: The request (ball) is answered.

Anhui has been famous for its wine since ancient times: girls' legs are lifted, boys' legs are lifted by mouth wine, old ladies' legs are lifted by golden seed wine, old ladies' legs are lifted by Gu Jing winery, and Shengquan dry beer! Your legs are up, Chivalrous Spring Wine!

The father took his son to take a bath, and the ground was slippery. When the son was about to slip, he grabbed his father's genitals and didn't fall. Father scolded him. He is lucky to come with me. He will come with your mother instead of killing you!

A student studying in the United States went home to visit relatives, boasting: American factories are advanced in technology, pigs are brought in, and sausages are introduced! His father was very angry when he saw that he worshiped foreign things and admired foreigners. He said, your mother and I are better. My sausage pushed in and came out again. That's a live pig!

The twins are chatting in their mother's belly. The boss said: Dad is a nice person and often sticks his head out to see us. He just doesn't like hygiene, so he throws up and leaves. The second said, it's better to be an uncle next door. After vomiting, he put the sputum in a bag.

The man can't go home for a long time, and his wife is very uncomfortable. One day, before he asked his wife to take down the mirror, she happily did so. He separated his wife's legs, put his chin on her vagina and asked her, Do I look good with a beard?

Joke 2 on the wine table:

1, a man came back with a prescription written by a female doctor for a long time and asked: 13 where is the super? The female doctor smiled. Not 13, but B-ultrasound. ? The man was furious:? Shit, yours? b？ The share is too wide! ?

In the office, a beautiful woman asked her male colleague to tell her a short and meaningful yellow joke. The male colleague pondered for a moment and uttered eight classic words: I weed, you noon. ......

3. Leadership inspection after dinner? Jiangyin wool textile factory? Before coming to the name of the neon lamp factory at the gate, unfortunately, the circuit failed, and the first river word didn't light up. The leader could only see the last five words and asked the factory director with concern. Are the raw materials easy to handle?

A row of prostitutes are waiting for guests in the street. An 80-year-old woman saw it and asked curiously: What are you waiting for? The prostitute said angrily: Wait for the lollipop! ? Old women also lined up to join the team, waiting for sugar. As a result, she was arrested by the police. The policeman asked the old woman, Can you have no teeth? The old woman smiled and said, I can lick it! ?

A female underground worker was arrested and forced to write a letter to seduce the person in charge. Female underground workers are forced to write. After writing, she secretly took some hair from her private parts and put it in the letter. After reading the letter, the colonel smelled his hair, glanced at it, pondered for a while, and suddenly realized that it was a conspiracy!

6. Beautiful female doctors are very popular with male patients in hospitals. There are many romantic and rich suitors, and of course there are many sexual harassment ... One day, after Mr. Chen finished the infertility examination in the hospital, the beautiful female doctor wanted to check whether the sperm count in Mr. Chen's body had decreased. She gave him a small sealed glass jar and told him to take some samples home. The next day, when Mr. Chen came back, the female doctor found that the glass jar was still empty. Teacher Chen explained:? I tried with my right hand for a long time yesterday, but there was still no response. I tried with my left hand, but it still didn't work. I asked my wife for help, and she tried it with both hands, but it didn't work. I told her to do it with her mouth, but there was nothing I could do. ? The female doctor blushed at this. Mr. Chen has been saying: It happened that my cousin came to my house to give gifts. She is young and strong, so I asked her for help. She also used her hands first, then her mouth, and worked very hard ...? Stop. Stop. ? The female doctor couldn't help it any longer: this kind of thing ... you ask your cousin for help. Mr. Chen said: She'd love to! But I still can't! I just came to see if you could ... When the female doctor was angry, she asked, What can I do? Mr. Chen replied:? Can you open the lid of this glass jar? ?

7. A woman named Wang Xing, a secretary of a bureau, got pregnant before marriage.

His mother mourned and forced him to ask him what race he was.

W: It's a long story.

Mother beat her chest and wept bitterly, saying, Sin, sin! Children have to have a father!

The woman lowered her head and said nothing.

For a long time, I replied: it's really difficult for a woman to decide if she refuses to sue for unfilial! However, the woman has already named the child.

Mother was very helpless and sighed, that's all, just like her mother's surname.

Woman: No, not Wang, Guo.

Qi Mu: Why?

The woman was ashamed and said: One day, the woman just made friends with Secretary Gao in the morning, and Director Li went to work again at noon; In the afternoon, director Chen followed; How do women know whose seed this is? Helpless, we had to hold the high head, the body of Director Li, and the ear of Director Chen together.

Mother stamped her foot and said, let it go, let it go; Change the name of the baby.

Woman: I have a name, too. Just call it Chunhai, Guo Chunhai. ? Three people on the same day, each with a little water? !

After the speech, mother and daughter cried?

8. mr. yi went to the tobacco stall to buy cigarettes. When he was saving money, something fell on the ground, so he didn't know he had left.

The girl selling cigarettes picked it up and saw that it was a beautifully packaged and reasonably priced condom. She shouted: Big brother! ......？ Suddenly speechless, don't know what to do.

Goodbye? Big brother? Turning around, he used his quick wits, shook his hand and said generously, brother, your second brother's work clothes! ?

9. The swimming pool is crowded with people. A young girl accidentally hung up her swimming trunks and couldn't change clothes for a while, so she grabbed a sign to block her ass. Suddenly, I heard the laughter around me, and I looked around in horror. I saw someone pointing to the sign in her hand and turning it over. I saw it read:

? It's three meters deep here! ?

Throw it away quickly and pull another piece to block it. What a beautiful smile! Are you busy watching?

? Men's Lane! ?

Another one, laughing even harder. See?

? Adult 10 yuan, children 5 yuan! ?

Turn another piece, and someone will fall to the ground with a belly and a smile. See again?

? Patients with skin diseases are strictly forbidden to enter! ?

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