Psychotic jokes

Complete Works of Psychotic Jokes

1. A reporter went to interview a psychiatrist with excellent medical skills.

The doctor said: I once asked patients such a question,

I asked them? The bathtub is full of water. Do you want to get the water out quickly with a spoon or a basin?

The reporter interrupted. Normal people can use pots, right?

The doctor looked at him puzzled and said: Normal people will unplug the bathtub! ?

2. On the bus, a man and a woman collided because of the crowd.

the fashionable girl looked back and said:? What is wrong with you?

the man felt puzzled and replied:? Do you have medicine?

people in the car snickered!

the woman answered angrily:? Are you mentally ill?

the man said coldly: Can you cure it?

the whole car is laughing! The bus driver stopped and laughed at the steering wheel. . .

3. There were 1 more patients in the mental hospital today.

The doctor wanted to test how sick they were, so

a rectangular room was covered with blue mats.

The doctor said, "This is a swimming pool. You can go swimming!

Patients: "Good ~"

Suddenly Patient No.1 said:

"You are idiots! There is no water there!

The doctor thought that patient 1 was slightly ill and should be able to leave the hospital soon ..

Suddenly patient 1 said,

"Because I want to clean the swimming pool! Let the water go long ago!

4. There are three people sitting on a park bench, and one is reading a newspaper.

The other two people are doing strange actions out of thin air:

They pretend to put the bait on the hook, and

they do another' action of throwing the rod into the water'.

The pedestrians in the park stopped to point,

A policeman watched them for a long time ...

He asked the newspaper reader, "Are those two your friends?

The man replied,

The policeman said, "They seem to be mentally ill, which will scare people. You'd better take them away at once! ... "

" Ah! Is that right? Sorry, sorry ~ I'll take them away at once!

The man blushed and put away the newspaper,

Then his hands began to row vigorously ...

5. In a mental hospital, two people were talking

A: Hello! My family lives in XX city. Where is your family?

B: what a coincidence! my home is there too!

A: there is a small river near my home, and five willows are planted.

B: so does my family.

A: my mother's name is XXX and my father's name is XXX.

B: What a coincidence, me too.

6. Someone was driving through the desert ... and saw a traveler

holding a loaf of bread, a bottle of milk and a car door ...

He was curious and asked the traveler, "What are you doing with bread?"

The traveler replied, "You can eat when you are hungry!

He asked, "What are you doing with milk?"

The traveler replied, "You can drink it when you are thirsty ..."

He finally asked, "Then what are you doing with a car door?

The traveler replied, "You can roll down the window when it's hot!

7. In the hospital ...

A patient is complaining to the doctor that he has often heard unknown voices recently.

Psychiatrist: "Do you often hear voices, but you don't know who's talking or where the voices are coming from?"

Patient: "Yes!

The psychiatrist thought, "Well ... this is a typical auditory hallucination.

The doctor then asked, "When will this happen?

mental patient: "when I answer the phone! 」 ;