What are the classic jokes?

There are two mental patients, one is dressed in red.

A green one escaped from the hospital.

They ran and ran, and then climbed a tree.

After a while, the man in red jumped down from the tree and rolled and rolled.

Then he looked up and said to the person above, "Hey ~ ~ Why don't you come down?" ?

」

The man above answered him, "No! I'm not familiar with it ... "

There is an old lady in a mental hospital, wearing black clothes and holding a black umbrella every day, squatting at the gate of the mental hospital.

The doctor thought, "To cure her, we must start by getting to know her. 」

So the doctor also wore black clothes, took a black umbrella and squatted there with her.

The two men were silent for a month.

The old lady finally spoke to the doctor:

"Excuse me ... you are a mushroom! ?

」

A mental hospital heard that the leader would come to the hospital to inspect the situation. So the dean called a meeting of patients in the hospital. At the meeting, the dean said

"This afternoon, a very important leader will come to visit, and everyone will meet him at the door. When welcoming, all the patients stood on both sides of the hospital gate, standing neatly. When I cough, everyone applauds together, the warmer the better;

When I stamp my foot, I must stop completely. I can't make mistakes. Another important thing is not to laugh! As long as someone screws up, that person has no food, remember? The patients in the audience shouted together: "Remember! 」

This afternoon, the leader arrived on time. When he stepped into the gate, the popular patient was already standing at the door. At this time, as the dean coughed, all the patients applauded together, and the atmosphere was very warm. After the leader walked into the hospital, the dean stamped his foot and all the applause stopped, which was very neat. The leader couldn't help laughing when he saw this situation. At this time, a patient came out of the hospital, slapped the leader and said, "I won't give you dinner today!" " 」

Two mental patients, A Jun and B Jun, recovered at the same time. Their doctor in charge said to them, "If one of you is ill, the other person should take him to the hospital immediately.".

」

Suddenly one day, the doctor's phone rang. It turned out to be Mr. A: "Great, Mr. B has been crawling in my toilet since this morning, insisting that he is my toilet!" " 」

"Quick, quick to send him! 」

A gentleman was silent for a moment: "Well, don't I have a toilet?" ?

」

In a mental hospital, a mental patient fishes in an empty fish tank every day.

One day, a nurse jokingly asked, "How many fish did you catch today?

」

The mental patient suddenly jumped up and cried, "What's the matter with you? Didn't you see it was an empty fish tank? " ? 」

Because of the economic depression, there has been a sharp increase in mental patients recently.

The mental hospital is full. In order to reserve a place for those patients with serious illness, the dean has to send those patients with less serious illness out of the hospital. To this end, he thought of a way: in a sealed house, there is a toy train with 10 train on it, and then 10 patients go in and tell them that they can take this train home. In an experiment, nine patients got on the train happily and said happily, "Hehehe, you can go home ..." Then they waddled away. Just when the dean was disappointed, he found a man looking at them with disdain. The dean's eyes lit up and said to him, "What do you think?" "Damn, these guys are crazy! The dean thought, "This man seems to be saved!" So I asked him happily, "Why do you think they are crazy? "MD, they started before my conductor got on the bus. You said they weren't crazy! ? 」

Two mental patients, one in red and the other in green, escaped from the hospital.

They ran and ran, and then climbed a tree.

After a while, the man in red jumped down from the tree and rolled and rolled.

Then he looked up and said to the person above, "Hey ~ ~ Why don't you come down?" ?

」

The man above answered him, "No! I'm not familiar with it ... "

There is an old lady in a mental hospital, wearing black clothes and holding a black umbrella every day, squatting at the gate of the mental hospital.

The doctor thought, "To cure her, we must start by getting to know her. 」

So the doctor also wore black clothes, took a black umbrella and squatted there with her.

The two men were silent for a month.

The old lady finally spoke to the doctor:

"Excuse me ... you are a mushroom! ?

」

A mental hospital heard that the leader would come to the hospital to inspect the situation. So the dean called a meeting of patients in the hospital. At the meeting, the dean said

"This afternoon, a very important leader will come to visit, and everyone will meet him at the door. When welcoming, all the patients stood on both sides of the hospital gate, standing neatly. When I cough, everyone applauds together, the warmer the better;

When I stamp my foot, I must stop completely. I can't make mistakes. Another important thing is not to laugh! As long as someone screws up, that person has no food, remember? The patients in the audience shouted together: "Remember! 」

This afternoon, the leader arrived on time. When he stepped into the gate, the popular patient was already standing at the door. At this time, as the dean coughed, all the patients applauded together, and the atmosphere was very warm. After the leader walked into the hospital, the dean stamped his foot and all the applause stopped, which was very neat. The leader couldn't help laughing when he saw this situation. At this time, a patient came out of the hospital, slapped the leader and said, "I won't give you dinner today!" " 」

Two mental patients, A Jun and B Jun, recovered at the same time. Their doctor in charge said to them, "If one of you is ill, the other person should take him to the hospital at once.

」

Suddenly one day, the doctor's phone rang. It turned out to be Mr. A: "Great, Mr. B has been crawling in my toilet since this morning, insisting that he is my toilet!" " 」

"Quick, quick to send him! 」

A gentleman was silent for a moment: "Well, don't I have a toilet?" ?

」

In a mental hospital, a mental patient fishes in an empty fish tank every day.

One day, a nurse jokingly asked, "How many fish did you catch today?

」

The mental patient suddenly jumped up and cried, "What's the matter with you? Didn't you see it was an empty fish tank? " ? 」

Because of the economic depression, there has been a sharp increase in mental patients recently.

The mental hospital is full. In order to reserve a place for those patients with serious illness, the dean has to send those patients with less serious illness out of the hospital. To this end, he thought of a way: in a sealed house, there is a toy train with 10 train on it, and then 10 patients go in and tell them that they can take this train home. In an experiment, nine patients got on the train happily and said happily, "Hehehe, you can go home ..." Then they waddled away. Just when the dean was disappointed, he found a man looking at them with disdain. The dean's eyes lit up and said to him, "What do you think?" "Damn, these guys are crazy! The dean thought, "This man seems to be saved!" So I asked him happily, "Why do you think they are crazy? "MD, they started before my conductor got on the bus. You said they weren't crazy! ? 」

One night in a mental hospital, a sick X voice shouted:

"I am Napoleon! 」

"Who said you were Napoleon's! ? "Cried the patient in the next ward.

"Julius Caesar said!" The first patient said.

"Nonsense! Julius Caesar has no idea who Napoleon is! " Cried the patient in the next ward.

"How do you know Julius Caesar doesn't know who Napoleon is?" The first patient asked.

"God told me!" The patient in the next ward replied.

At this moment, the doctor's roar came from the corridor:

"I never told anyone! 」

A reporter interviewed the director of a mental hospital and asked, "What method do you use to determine whether the patient has fully recovered? 」

The dean said, "Let's give him a test. We fill a bathtub with water, put a spoon and a big bowl next to it, and let them drain the water out of the jar. " The reporter said disapprovingly, "Of course, we use a big bowl!" The dean looked at him and said slowly, "Normal people pull the plug ..."

In a mental hospital, a doctor is testing three patients.

The doctor asked the first patient, "What is 3 times 3? 」

「274。 The first patient replied.

The doctor asked the second patient again, "It's your turn. What is 3 times 3? " ? "Tuesday. 」

The doctor turned to the third patient: "well, now it's your turn." What is 3 times 3? " ? 」「9。 "Very well," said the doctor.

Praise: "How did you work it out? 」

"This is not simple? Just divide Tuesday by 274! ? 」

Two mental patients, A Jun and B Jun, recovered at the same time. Their doctor in charge said to them, "If one of you is ill, the other person should take him to the hospital immediately.".

」

Suddenly one day, the doctor's phone rang. It turned out to be Mr. A: "Great, Mr. B has been crawling in my toilet since this morning, insisting that he is my toilet!" " 」

"Quick, quick to send him! 」

A gentleman was silent for a moment: "Well, don't I have a toilet?" ?

」

In a mental hospital, a mental patient fishes in an empty fish tank every day.

One day, a nurse jokingly asked, "How many fish did you catch today?

」

The mental patient suddenly jumped up and cried, "What's the matter with you? Didn't you see it was an empty fish tank? " ? 」