Tell a few hilarious jokes.

1, boy, dare to hit on my girl! Tell me, is it a one-on-one fight or a group fight? We beat you one by one. One-on-one, you choose us!

My grandmother is still in the countryside. Since I was admitted to Tsinghua, my grandmother always said to me every time I went back, "I'll keep the plots of land at home and this yard, and these chickens and pigs for you." . Seeing the employment situation this year, I finally realized my grandmother's foresight and good intentions. ...

Summer is coming, and the weather is very hot. A group of "BT" flies north, and then a "B" and a "T" are formed. ...

As fast as lightning, it's not worth mentioning if you don't change it. As a symbol of our love in The Tempest, why can't a house be popular all over the world? It has been raining in the east and west. When I looked up, I found it was moonlight, it was stupefied, how to kill a chicken with a knife, how to try it with a knife, how to rescue Zhao from Wei, how to say goodbye very much, how to spend a thousand times with eight teeth, and how to lose a thousand flowers.

5. Your boyfriend looks good recently ~/He goes to bbs to irrigate every day!

I poured water with my ID again. What about yours? /Let my dad use it!

I told my girlfriend that you also went to the alumni record to fill in the water. Hey, people will find bbs!

Bbs, not bad! There are many MM and PP, and we have been watering there!

Studying our major and playing games every day are not bad. With this bbs, hi! Really worthy of our computer! Bbs, tomorrow! /bbs, pour every day!

6. Successful men are busy with JB during the day and JB at night; A loser has nothing to do during the day and nothing to do at night. So, I want to be a successful man!

7. Summary of awards I have won over the years:

On April 29th, 1985, I got a small red flower, which was given by Grandma Zhao herself.

65438+June 1 0998, won the highest progress award once, and was given a notebook by Teacher Liu;

One day in 2000, he won the newcomer award of the class basketball team and was praised orally by Zhang Tianguang.

200 1 12 18, once won the Beijing computer sports lottery, and the handsome guy gave 5 yuan a bonus.

8. (BBS of a university in Anhui) Monks spend their time looking at the moon, while dinosaurs sit on the ground and become immortals.

9. Confucius traveled eastward. When he met two children quarreling, he asked him why.

A child said: I was born in Shandong, Japan, so I belong to the East.

A child said: When the sun goes down, it is clear that Japan belongs to Shanxi, so it belongs to the West.

Confucius couldn't make up his mind, so he asked Laozi (that is, me) later.

Lao Tzu said with a smile, who is more Zhihu than you? Japan has no foundation, how to calculate! !

10, anti-theft, anti-theft and logistics ...

1 1, the computer was my first wife. Facing the first wife every day, the third wife died one day.

Internet is my second wife-> Second wife-> The second wife is broken-> I'm screwed

My third wife visited Shui Mu, and the third wife sold it.

12, I have been fighting for single girls; I never give up married women; For girls over sixteen, I pay attention to digging; For children under sixteen, we should have a strategic vision.

13, "The girl I like should be as talented as Daiyu, as sensible as Baochai, as beautiful as Ke Qing, as generous as Xiangyun, as loyal as Li Wan, as capable as Tanchun, as smart as Xifeng, as blessed as Yuan Chun, hehe ..." "But I don't like being as fragile as Daiyu, as selfish as Baochai, and as fickle as Ke Qing.

14, if eating more fish can nourish the brain and make people smart, then I should at least eat a pair of whales ...;

15, if you want to live with me, you must live with me first! I'm yellow after I survive. I'm so crazy! I'll be there when it's over. I'm so cool. I'll throw it away when I'm done. I'll put it off!

16, in the west, Zhuge Liang played a song with a lingering sound, and 150,000 Wei Jun outside the city was fascinated. Zhuge Liang: "Thank you. Please pay one or two tickets. " Wei Jun frightened, and at that time, one hundred and fifty thousand people fled. ...

17, I have a biggest dream: 20** in the final round of Serie A, this is a game in which Inter Milan won the championship and Juventus was relegated if they lost ... At the last moment of the game, recoba received a pass from Vieri. At the offside 10 meter position, he first knocked down three defenders, then pushed down the Juventus goalkeeper, and finally scored the winning goal with his hand. ...

18, the rivers and lakes are turbulent. Those who are good at making knives fight their way out are called swordsman; A man who is famous for his sword is called a swordsman; In Shui Mu, people who like to pour water with a ladle are called ... Hehe:)

19, I saw her shy and lovely expression, and I couldn't help but tremble and asked, "Do you really like me?" She buried her head and didn't dare to look at me. She said, "Guess!" "Like" I blurted out. Her face is redder and her head is lower. "Guess again!"

20, it's raining, don't forget to bring an umbrella, it's wet, and gonorrhea is troublesome ~ ~:)